Throwback Thursday - Honestly!!

(originally published in 2010)

Does anyone else wonder how half-truths, exaggerations, and outright dishonesty have become fine, normal and acceptable?! Seriously! I am so sick of lies that I'm sick!
Look around! I bet that if you took 5 minutes to become more aware of lies vs truth you would be amazed at what you'd find you are surrounded by. Believe me it's scary. What you look like, what you drive, how you speak, your education, your haircolor, your home, your birthday, your clothes etc...defines who you are. Lies. Lies that we are bombarded with from TV, radio, magazines, friends, billboards...

But even on top of that is how we speak to each other. How many lies do well tell a day? "Yes I'm fine (in reality I'm in turmoil about so many things)" "Yes I'll serve in ministry (in reality I can't possibly handle one more thing on my plate)"
"No I can't help you out (in reality I can but I don't want to because you annoyed me yesterday)"
"I'm sorry I'm late. Traffic was horrible! (in reality I was blogging and got so distracted that I left late and now I'm late meeting you)"
"Well my day was just so busy (in reality, I really wish you, my spouse, would help out more, I'm tired and overwhelmed and frustrated but I don't want to bother you with my real emotions so I'm going to pretend that everything's ok and maybe some day I'll blow up and you'll be surprised that I've been lying to you for so long and that doesn't seem real great either but for the moment I'll just lie)"
"I was so angry about such n such that I about quit my job (in reality it did make me mad but there's no way I'd quit my job)."
"I was so sad I bawled my eyes out (in reality I didn't shed a tear but I'd really like you to think I was so sad so you might feel sorry for me)."
"I never cry (in reality I do but I don't want you to think I'm weak)"
"I didn't sleep a wink last night (in reality I dozed in and out of sleep so much it didn't feel like I slept but you don't need to know that)."
"I've tried everything and nothing is working (in reality I've tried two things and they were so hard because I lack the self control necessary but trying everything sounds so much better)"

Seriously we need to stop the lying. Lying snowballs and it doesn't even matter what you lie about. If you lie about why you're late then you make it sound like you can usually be on time and you will just constantly have to lie. If you lie about how you feel then people will make assumptions and even decisions based on what you lied about creating an even bigger problem for you in the long run. I talked to Kale the other day about lying. Our kids, if they lie, will get punished for the offense as well as the lie. Because in reality that's what happens. Not only will we have to deal with the consequences of the reason we're lying (ie. being late, hurting someone's feelings etc.) but we'll also have to deal with the consequences of lying (ie hurting a friend or spouse, losing other's trust in us). Lies snowball. Then we're not who we really are. Ever.

I've heard people talk about how great it is, sometimes, to move or start a job or whatever to get a fresh start. It's like they can now be the real them. For so long they lie to people around them and it isn't until we start over that we are finally able to just be us.

Why do we lie? I think it's because we're afraid of what others will think. We're afraid to be accountable and responsible for our actions and thoughts. By admitting that we're late because of blogging, we're admitting that we weren't being responsible. If we tell the truth about why we can't serve in a ministry, we may appear less spiritual than others. If we admit that your friendship is difficult, that person may not like us and then point out all of our faults.

Honesty is hard. Honesty challenges us to be who we really are, say what we mean, and mean what we say. Honesty - in love - will change us for the better, strengthen our relationships, improve communication, and make us trustworthy, and a people of integrity. Do I tell the truth all the time? Ha! If I said that I did I'd be lying :) No, I realize that I can exaggerate or not tell the whole story. BUT, I am desperate to have real, meaningful, and lasting relationships built on truth and trust. Relationships that are Christ centered. And that is impossible if they are built on deception and assumptions.Practice being honest today. The whole world could use more truth in their lives. It can start with me.