In All Circumstances

By Esther Belin

 Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.  ~ 1 Thess. 5:16-18 NIV

During a recent season of practicing this verse, I started reading The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom. This book was the perfect companion to this season because I was drawn to examine my circumstances. Corrie hid Jewish people in her home during World War II and later became a prisoner in a Nazi concentration camp. She lived in daily dread and constant pressure, yet she allowed her circumstances to reveal God’s power regardless of the times she had no idea how she was going to do what needed to be done. I have read several secular texts about the Jewish concentration camps that were grueling to read because they tended to focus on the evil of humanity (sin). Oddly, her memoir was a blessing to me because of her perspective to glorify God – which many times was prompted by her sister, Betsie. Rather than focusing on each set back, each moment of injustice, the sisters focused on God’s power for daily existence – truly living out 1 Thess. 5:16-18 – by being joyful always, praying continually and giving thanks in all circumstances.

This command is simple yet requires a consistent posture, an intentional effort to make fine-tune adjustments in order to hear from God so that you may do His will. I have the luxury of so many choices, so many ways to worship God/not worship God, to be focused/to be distracted. While I enjoy my freedom to choose, I also allow that freedom to become an agent for the enemy. I am ashamed to reveal how I reposition God to fit my choices. The result is an entanglement of exhaustive busyness – a “chasing after the wind” (Ecc. 1:14). The choice to follow Him requires a keen awareness to the tension needed for stretching my spiritual muscles. When I am “chasing after the wind” – my choice is to forego stretching and sag toward complacency, waywardness.

I am in wonderment of the delicate nature of being in God’s will. At one point in the book, Corrie and Betsie prayed a simple prayer giving thanks for their latest living quarters that included a swarm of fleas! At the time, Corrie’s heart was troubled to give thanks for a flea infestation, but she obeyed God’s command. Later, Corrie revealed how that horrible flea infestation created hours of opportunity to freely witness to others since their work station was so badly infested that even the guards dare not enter. While she and Betsie enjoyed a work detail free from the harsh watch of guards, they also were constantly flea-bitten! During this time of constant spiritual stretching, they were continually praying, giving thanks in all circumstances. The practice of continually exercising their spiritual muscles tapped them into Christ’s power to endure the emotional and physical torture.  

As Christ followers, I know we are not promised a life of ease; we are however able to stand on Christ’s promises – of new life, of provision, of perfect timing. I have been in the cycle of the whirl – chasing the wind – seeking a formula rather than seeking the One who can rescue me from this cycle. 

Corrie’s story is fantastical not because of the suffering but because of God’s presence in the midst of her suffering. Staying in the presence of God is doable yet when His presence involves long-suffering, meekness and temperance, I tend to seek more desirable fruits of the Spirit. I want the love, joy, peace. I want to pick my own basket of fruit! O, how I stumble – O, how I seek shelter under God’s veil of mercy. I tell God that I am His servant yet I balk and tug at the first sign of arduous tasks; I resist eating fruits of patience and self-control. I resist God’s sovereignty as the master gardener – the One who prunes, the One who holds the blueprints of my purpose.  

“He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit  he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful” (John 15:2).  

When doing a word study on this verse, I meditated on the difference between cutting off branches and pruning branches. The cutting off is generally done to branches that are withered and already dead perhaps never reaching their full potential. They are cut off from the vine to allow the remaining branches to bear fruit. Pruning is done to healthy fruit-bearing branches in order to continue the process of bearing more fruit. Both scenarios are part of the master gardener’s plan and both scenarios are painful.

Dear Readers, now when fruits of long-suffering, meekness and temperance are served to me, I fondly think of Corrie and Betsie – sweet sisters in Christ who I am looking forward to meeting one day in heaven – and quiet my soul to be joyful always, pray continually and give thanks in all circumstances.

What do you focus on during the process of pruning and cutting? Are you tempted to "pick your own fruit"?

Daily Bread

By Esther Belin

A few years ago, I finally surrendered my finances to God, deciding to convert to a cash system. At the time, I had a steady income. Shortly after this decision, I lost my job. Looking back at that time, I know that God took financial security away from me to be solely dependent on Him. Money was a very apparent idol in my life and because He heard the song in my heart He compassionately pursued me to show me my sin. God was very intentional at removing financial security at the exact time I committed to surrender my finances. It was a test. 

I knew it – in my intellect, I totally knew that I was being tested. At the time, I didn’t really think of it as a trial because I knew I could get another job – or so I thought. So it is during this season of refining that God waited patiently for me to see His mystery, His sovereignty and His love (Job 42:5).

Selah.

Like Paul, “If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness” (2 Corin. 11:30).  Before I go on, I do need to say that I love Paul. I love his obedience, I love his heart, I love his passionate, jumbled, and lengthy sentences that are so dense with truth. Dear Readers, I so encourage you to read your Bible. It is only with reading and truly wrestling with God’s word that one can appreciate these fellow Christ followers.

From very young, I knew that money enabled comfort. It was uncomfortable to watch opportunities pass by for lack of money, or to see how money changed attitudes. In fourth grade, I knew I was going to college because education was a method to achieve money. I put most of my effort in getting good grades and when I realized how easy it was to get good grades, my idol of pride began to take root. Little did I know that my seemingly simple desire to surrender my finances to God revealed a hidden collection of idols. I sigh because my intellect knows God desires all of my heart.  

I am so ashamed to realize how I tried to negotiate with God by holding back – thinking that I could hide my idols from him! So back when I lost my job, my idol of pride stood tall. I thought – ok, no big deal, I will get whatever job I can…. I am so employable…. I have so many skills….. I went to college….. I am better than the average laborer.  I cannot tell you how many unsuccessful job interviews I had. I was even hired, then 3 days before I was to start, it fell through. God was chipping away my pride – and my resistance/ignorance was making it more painful. Because that idol was decades old, the realization as to the invasiveness of it crippled my identity: who I think I am – who I think God is – how I relate to people.  I sigh heavily at my sin – and I rejoice readily at His mercy (Ps. 5:7).

Selah.

In my intellect, I knew that I knew that I knew God desires all of my heart. So why was it so hard to give it to Him? I knew He was trustworthy. I knew He was faithful. I knew He wanted to bless me – to provide for me – to watch me succeed! I knew it in my head but not in my heart. During this season of financial drought, I have had to walk by faith daily. Sometimes moment by moment – clinging so desperately to God – being so precise in my obedience – asking for and taking only my daily portion. God was showing me His provision in a very real and deliberate way. A way not based on intellect but on faith.

Unexpectedly, being on such a tight budget has exposed the bountifulness of God. As I inventoried our pantry and our bank accounts, I began to pray over all of it. 

I prayed that we would eat and spend wisely. I prayed for creativity to find recipes that included food in our pantry. I prayed that the gas in our vehicles would stretch. I prayed over big purchases to be made in the coming months. For such a long time, I had believed a lie that we never had enough. Enough food, enough money, enough time. I was living a lie of deficiency.

Now I gladly praise God for His bounty (Ps. 13:6 ESV). He will never allow His children to lack anything – He provides, protects and pursues. He sings over us (Zeph. 3:17 ESV). I love that. I love that God – Creator of the Universe – sings loudly over us.  God sings over me as I struggle to piece together random dry goods in my pantry for a meal. God sings over me as I pray about even the smallest purchases – and it is in those times that I see God’s bounty everywhere.

Prayer has been my sole source to daily bread – physically, spiritually and emotionally.  There are really no words to replace the blessings of true obedience – everything gets mussed up in the overflow of grace and mercy – like a longing fulfilled, like an aching limb relieved, like the warmth of sun-rays. Dear readers, I leave you with a timeless hymn that has taken on new meaning for me.

1. You have longed for sweet peace,
   And for faith to increase,
   And have earnestly, fervently prayed;
   But you cannot have rest,
   Or be perfectly blest,
   Until all on the altar is laid.

• Refrain:
  Is your all on the altar of sacrifice laid?
  Your heart does the Spirit control?
  You can only be blest,
  And have peace and sweet rest,
  As you yield Him your body and soul.

2. Would you walk with the Lord,
   In the light of His word,
   And have peace and contentment away?
   You must do His sweet will,
   To be free from all ill,
   On the altar your all you must lay.

3. Oh, we never can know
   What the Lord will bestow
   Of the blessings for which we have prayed,
   Till our body and soul
   He doth fully control,
   And our all on the altar is laid.

4. Who can tell all the love
   He will send from above,
   And how happy our hearts will be made;
   Of the fellowship sweet
   We shall share at His feet,
   When our all on the altar is laid. 
 

How have you seen God provide for you? Have you experienced His daily bread?

Accept the Crooked

By Esther Belin

Accept the way God does things, for who can straighten what he has made crooked?  

Eccles. 7:13 (NLT)

For a long time I was troubled by this verse.  In my brain, crooked means imperfection. I had a hard time believing that God would make crooked things since the word perfect is regularly used to describe Him. Why would God make something crooked intentionally? My inner dialogue says: The painting hangs crooked. The hem is crooked. The underlining of my favorite verse in my bible is crooked. I have seen many a student tear out or cross out their writing because it is crooked.

As Christ followers, to seek perfection like Christ is a logical desire – that is easy to accept because walking it out can mean living out God’s purpose for our lives – and I want God’s perfect and chosen destiny for my life (Jer. 1:5-8). That destiny is harder to accept when part of God’s purpose is a crooked path.

I know that God’s ways are not our ways – and I know that God is sovereign over all. And I love that as I grapple with this verse, God’s sovereignty is being revealed to me and I feel silly because it suddenly becomes so obvious that harboring knowledge is not the same as applying knowledge.  Harboring knowledge has been a hindrance for me. While seeking knowledge is generally a good aspiration, I actually built a high place out of my knowledge. I turned something good into something hindering, sinful.

In my preoccupation of straightening, I was not accepting the crooked. I tried to straighten the crooked by applying my knowledge without seeking God’s instruction. I was in constant road construction!

Taking unnecessary detours, creating detours – basically pulling a Jonah (Jonah 1:1-3).

The anxiety of continual highway traffic created fuel for resistance of God’s crookedness. I became overly alert, controlling and sensitive because I was desperately searching for an exit or a smoother road or another driver. Accepting the way God does things means letting Him drive!

Jonah’s prayer was also very helpful to me: “When my life was ebbing away, I remembered you, Lord, and my prayer rose to you, to your holy temple. Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs” (Jonah 2:7-8 NIV). I was missing God’s grace by not accepting the way He does things.

I do love how God’s word is filled with many crooked paths that have been used for His glory. I am applying those tales of Jonah, Moses, Joseph, Ruth, Esther (and many more) to redirect my rebellious inner dialogue that still tries to bump God from the driver’s seat.

My prayer for you dear readers is that you would not wait until your life is ebbing away to call upon our Lord and Savior – He is waiting for you to remember Him – He is waiting to hear from you.

Hopelessness

What is "Hope?"

Merrimam-Webster.com defines hope as the action of a person "to cherish a desire with anticipation" and "to expect with confidence."  

I hope today is filled with peace. I hope my children enjoy their birthdays. I anticipate the sun will rise. I have great confidence that my heart will continue beating.   

Yet there have been times when all hope was gone. I have known depression. I know what it means to not be able to get out of bed because the weight of your soul defies human strength. I know what it is to hide in the closet and embrace the darkness because it matches your emotional state. To walk in a daze, going through the motions of caring for others because they need you. No joy. No pleasure. 

Perhaps "Hopelessness" is merely a synonym for "Depression."   

I've been in a car and thought that others would be better off if I just kept driving - their life we would be better without my brokenness.
I've seen the pain in my husbands eyes as he loved me so deeply and yet
couldn't reach me in my darkness. 

Yes, even thoughts of suicide -- just to make the pain stop. 

In these times of darkness I had no hope that the physical pain would end; that the emotional pain would be healed; that the spiritual pain could be redeemed. I had no expectation that my future would be any better than the hopelessness I felt at that moment.

One spring day, I simply could no longer function. I called my dad to please come get my children for the afternoon. I couldn't take care of them. All I could manage was packing them up, calling my daddy and laying on the bed. 

I was desperate. 

God likes desperate. 

Desperate takes away alternates and leaves only God. 

My soul sighed, "God I cannot live like this. Please remove this from me."

A simple cry from my soul. 

In the next moment the hand of God reached down to me, taking the hopelessness and depression between His pinched fingers and pulling the web that had cocooned me. I physically felt it drawn from my head and toes, my shoulders and knees and leaving me!  

I was free. 

I lay there as tears of release rolled down my cheeks and I fell into a restful sleep. 

And awoke in Hope. 

There have been times that this hopelessness has threatened to return. I look at the suffering around me and wonder if God has a plan. Days my body hurts and I don't know how I'm going to even get dressed and wonder why God doesn't heal me. Moments I grieve over lost relationships and question if God sees the pain.  

Then I remember the day hope returned. I stop looking inward at my pain and grief. I stop looking around at man-made situations. Then I do the impossible - I allow those questions and pain and loss and grief to drive me to the Cross.

                                 

I go to "Jesus, our Hope," (1 Timothy 1:1). 

I know that, "He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed," (Deut. 31:8).

God promises me that, "I will be with you when you pass through waters; and when you pass through the rivers - you will not be overwhelmed. You will not be scorched when you walk through the fire, and the flames won't burn you,"(Isaiah 43:2). 

Patiently I obey God who tells me that I must "Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in Him," (Psalm 62:5). 

Today may be tough but I know that "Surely there is a future, and your hope will not be cut off," (Proverbs 23:18). 

I am not forgotten but I am blessed because I am a woman "who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord," (Jeremiah 17:7).

And in the darkest night, my longest day "I will hope continually and will praise Him more and more" (Psalm 71:14).

I wait for Him, cherishing His promises that "in all things God works for the good of those who love him," (Romans 8:28) and that God's plans for me are "for peace and not disaster" and gives me "a future filled with hope!" (Jeremiah 29:11 NOG).  

Our Hope is not in this temporary life. It is not in our human strength, our perceived power, our prayers or in our Faith. 

Our Hope - our cherished desire that we wait for with great anticipation - is eternity with God through the salvation we have in Christ Jesus, the comfort we are given through the Holy Spirit and the restored relationship we have with the Father.

And this Hope changes everything.

There is Power in Vulnerability

By Jen Kline

I am writing today about this word because I believe it is about to change my life. Let me explain.

Growing up it has always been very hard for me to be vulnerable. At some point in my childhood I made a decision that the world around me was not safe and that I needed to protect myself. Protecting myself meant I could not be vulnerable, especially around people. So for years I found ways to avoid being in a place of vulnerability.

I would ignore conflict. I would suppress feelings. I would avoid certain relationships. I would distract myself with being busy and producing and being very involved in anything I could get my hands on. I worked hard and often. I filled my social schedule with anything I could put in it. I did everything big. I even filled the air with my own voice, talking so much in the hopes I could drown out anything that would tell me it was OK to slow down enough to be in a vulnerable place. Sounds exhausting doesn’t it? Well, it was, but let me tell you that what I did as a child and the things I did to protect myself were healthy for me. It was a natural way for me to process all that was happening around me and I’m thankful for it. But 43 years later, it’s exhausting. I’m done. Cashed in. I can’t do it anymore.

This is a new season of facing the vulnerable parts of who I am and this life I have and it’s time to move forward in a way that is good for me. In a way that is real to the people around me and in a way that is honest about my journey with God.

With this journey I am on The Lord is revealing so much to me as I’ve slowed down. He’s spoken beautiful things, brought back precious memories and allowed me to feel a wide range of feelings I was avoiding for all of these years. Often when I am in this place I look to Jesus to see His response to the very human things we deal with, the very hard things on this earth. And I had this thought; When I watched my husband play Jesus in The River Church’s production of The Passion Play, the hardest part of that story for me was when Jesus the Creator of heaven and earth is standing before Pilate and every one is yelling at Him and there is this question as to whether or not they should pick Barabas or Jesus.

My heart aches at this moment every single time. I’m thinking to myself, JESUS! You are GOD! Stand UP! Fight! Do some kind of amazing miracle to save You from this awful fate. Stop them. Change their minds… yell at them! Hit them, run away, and tell them why they are wrong. Tell them who you ARE! Do whatever you have to do to defend Yourself! But He doesn’t. He actually never does. He’s vulnerable. One thing I know about Jesus is His absolute confidence and connectedness to the Father. And I realize the two ingredients Jesus had to always be in a place of vulnerability.

The first is that He was never ashamed of Who He was or what He was there to do. He was present in every moment on earth. He wasn’t distracted or confused. He knew exactly why He was healing, speaking against the Pharisees, challenging the law, and doing things on Sabbath days. He had no shame.

The second is that He knew He was not alone. Even when He begged God to take this cup from Him I believe He knew that God was with Him. He was fully aware of God's presence with Him each and every moment.

If there is power in vulnerability, imagine what that would look like in our families, in our friendships, in our relationships with friends. What if our language and our conversations with our kids were more compassionate and vulnerable? What if we could actually tell our kids that we were having a hard time feeling some emotions, or even cried in front of them? What if we told our husbands the parts of our hearts we’ve been hiding? What if we could tell our friends that we are having a hard time with our finances or that the thing they said to us the other day hurt us? How would we impact each other? How could we impact our community? We wouldn’t have to win all the time; we wouldn’t desire so much control over other people. We could “name” what we were struggling with and let people know what we are about to say to them is very hard and difficult to our hearts. We could listen and we could love people despite their inability to know how to love us well.

It would change our lives.

It wouldn’t make life easier, but I believe that as we really pay attention to the sadness and the difficulties, we would also experience a richer, more vibrant joy in powerful vulnerability.

In the Open

By Kim Beach
 
It’s time to make a confession.

I pray in the Spirit. I speak in tongues. I have a Heavenly Prayer Language. I received the gift when I was about 10 years old and my prayer language vocabulary continues to grow. It’s real. It’s amazing and I’m so thankful God has given me this gift!

There -- I said it. It's in the open!

                             

I'm not bragging. God warns us not to boast of our gifts - in fact we are commanded to remain humble (James 4:6, Matthew 23:12) and to find our glory in His cross. 

However, neither am I willing to keep my gift a secret. Humility is not defined as hiding our Gifts or talents nor is it belittling their importance or being ashamed of them.  We must guard against false humility while we seek His best gifts for the work God has prepared for each of us (1 Corinthians 12:31).

In recent years, I've leaned to the quieter side of the Holy-Spirit-and-tongues debate so that I don't offend any believers, cause dissension or division. The gift of tongues, or the Baptism of the Holy Spirit with the evidence of speaking in another language, is only one facet of the personhood of the Holy Spirit's character!  He is our counselor, comforter, instructor, guide and an ambassador of Heaven given to us by the Father to be with us until God returns again.  

And through the Holy Spirit, the Father gives the gift of speaking in tongues. 

All of God’s gifts are important - why would He bother otherwise? Each gift is essential to the Body of Christ - God does everything with meaning.  

                                  

“Do not neglect the gift that is in you,”

1 Timothy 4:14

Neglect  is an action verb with heavy meaning - 

      1. “to pay no attention or too little attention to; disregard or slight:  

      2.  to be remiss in the care or treatment of:  

      3.  to omit, through indifference or carelessness:

      4.  to fail to carry out or perform (orders, duties, etc.):  

      5.  to fail to take or use,” (dictionary.reference.com).

The challenge is to live in, use, and stir-up the gifts in you and not compare them to the gifts of others!

                                 

Our Creator loves variety! From majestic mountains to the vast Sahara; desolate horizons to lush forests; jungle rivers to springs in the desert - our Creator loves to show His creativity! The same is true with the gifts He gives - abundantly, creatively, expressively - to all who ask Him. 

Ask our Father God - what are the Gifts you have given me that I am neglecting? What gift am I ashamed to admit that I have? What gift am I afraid to use?   

And when He answers you - and He will - use that beautiful, creative gift to give the God of all Creation the Glory!

Romans 12: 3 - 8 For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.

Testimony - Is This My Battle?

Have you ever found yourself resenting a person or situation that you were in? In stopping to ponder this in my own life, there was a profound reminder that presented itself.

”Did you pick up a burden that wasn’t yours to carry?”

Recently I’ve had this conversation with our Father about two different situations. One that He called me to help with and the other where I helped in the wrong area of need - picking up something that wasn’t mine to “carry” or “fix”.

The first situation was full of prayer, with a dream of preparing the way so that my heart would be open to what God had planned. During this time each week I was called to pray, and each week there was a simple word given to speak over those in charge - Peace, Wisdom and to Bless them.  This time wasn’t easy, but leaning on Jesus for support made each day freeing.

The second situation, the burden I was not asked to carry, caused bitterness, anger and resentment. It took me to a place that I’m not proud of. Causing me to lash out instead of taking time to pray and see what the Father was asking me to do. Once prayer and worship was able to enter my heart again, I was reminded of a word spoken at our church recently. Forgive me as I’m paraphrasing what was said since at the time it didn’t resonate.

“If you are tired of fighting a battle, stop and ask if this was a battle God asked you to fight or if you picked up a sword in a battle that isn’t yours to fight.”

As I sit here this morning, finally able to write, I'm looking back over the second battle after dropping the burden. It's freeing, but honestly it is still hard. I'm realizing that using someone else's sword will cause wounds in others as well as yourself. 

Now it is time to ask for forgiveness. To sit at Christ’s feet in worship, pray and study. To hear what his path for my life is and follow it. To remember in ALL situations to seek His guidance for our lives, even in the small details.

Lord, Are You Washing My Feet, Again?

By Tawna Wilkinson                                                                                    

“Then He [Jesus] came to Simon Peter.  And Peter said to Him, ‘Lord, are You washing my feet?’”

“Jesus answered and said to him, ‘What I am doing you do not understand now, but you will know after this.’”

“Peter said to Him, ‘You shall never wash my feet!’” 

“Jesus answered him, ‘If I do not wash you, you have no part with Me.’”

“Simon Peter said to Him, “Lord, not my feet only, but my hands and my head!’”  (John 13.6-9)

This type of encounter happened to me a year ago. Jesus presented me with “His pitcher and basin” through a very uncomfortable, out-of-the-box method and venue, and my initial reaction was just like Peter’s: “Lord, you will never wash my feet…especially this way!”

In times past, I had granted Him permission to do that very thing. And though the process He chose was less than comfortable, and I didn’t understand the why of it, I did know I loved Him and wanted a richer, fuller, and more intimate relationship. So I would acquiesce.

However, when I saw Him coming this time, in this way, using this setting, the rumble in my spirit was so deep and unnerving, so agitating, and even humiliating; I didn’t think I could take it. 

“God, You know how much I love you, and how many times I have gone through this ‘foot washing’ process with You…but this way? Really?”

“What I am doing you do not understand now, but you will know after this.”

“But, Lord,” I said, kicking and screaming with pride. “I’ve been pursuing You, right here.  I don’t need this venue. And besides, what if I’m viewed as a ‘conference junky’ looking for her next fix, in order to feel spiritual?”

He didn’t budge. He simply and lovingly, continued offering me a new level of intimacy
through this awkward avenue of a different kind of “foot washing.” 

Still struggling, I whined, “Wow, Lord, does this ever end?"

“Only if you want no ‘part’ with Me.”

What? That was it. That was all it took. And just like Peter, I was in. 

“Wash me, Lord; any way and every way You choose!  Dunk me.  Drown me.  If this is
the only way I can have ‘part’ with You, then do it.”

And He did.

Truthfully, when I saw how filthy my soiled feet made the basin of water after all the previous washings I had received, I writhed in shock and pain. I had no idea how dirty I had gotten, again.
 

But, He was so gentle and so loving as He bathed and massaged my feet. And when He
finished I was clean. I was free. I not only received my “part” with Him, but He went
exceedingly abundantly above everything prior.

So now, when I see Him coming, offering again His “pitcher and basin”; no matter the
form; no matter the shaking in me, I want my prayer to be: “Lord, thank You for washing my feet,
again!”

An Artist's Calling

By Tiffany Bleger

Exodus 35:30 introduces a man who would become vital to the nation of Israel. The NLT translation reads:

"Then Moses told the people of Israel, “The LORD has specifically chosen Bezalel son of Uri, grandson of Hur, of the tribe of Judah. The LORD has filled Bezalel with the Spirit of God, giving him great wisdom, ability, and expertise in all kinds of crafts. He is a master craftsman, expert in working with gold, silver, and bronze. He is skilled in engraving and mounting gemstones and in carving wood. He is a master at every craft." (Exodus 35:30-33 NLT)

God specifically called Bezalel, a craftsman from the tribe of Judah, to oversee the construction of the Tabernacle. To build the dwelling place of Yahweh. The Bible does not say that he was a great manager or overseer, however. It says that he was "a master at every craft."

My spirit finds a significance to that. God did not choose someone whose natural giftings were in leadership and delegation. He chose someone gifted in an art form that would bring beauty to His dwelling place. I'm certain that as Bezalel led the other craftsman in this immense project, God supplied the necessary leadership ability. But the man who started this project was not noted as a leader. And, through the next four chapters, we see the plans given to Moses on the mountaintop come to life through the hands of a craftsman. 

I can't help but wonder what life was like for Bezalel before he was given this task. Was he old? Young? Appreciated for his craft and respected by all? Or ignored, looked down upon, rejected? Was he ridiculed for his gift, this God-given talent that didn't fit the norm for a man in this era? Somehow, I imagine a man, middle aged, but strong and muscular.  He'd have to be strong in order to carve wood and lift kettles of molten gold all day. His hands were delicate, however, probably smaller than most and incredibly sensitive. It required amazing dexterity and coordination to work in gems and cloth with the skill Bezalel obviously had.  

But what was this man like? Did he stand tall, secure in his identity and gifts? Did he know from a young age that he was destined for greatness, that his talents would be used in an incredible way someday? Or did he struggle with doubts and insecurity, wondering why God had given him talents that didn't seem to fit in?  Did he ever consider giving up, switching careers?  Did he struggle to find his place within the tribe?

I wonder if we feel the same way today. We have each been given a measure of talent, special gifts we are to use.  Father gives each of us these gifts to benefit the body of Christ and to point others to the glory of God.  Some of those gifts fit easily into the mold of "church service" that our Christian society has created. But some of us, probably most of us, have talents that seem unusable to God. Talents are different enough from what we see on a Sunday morning that we wonder if there's any use for us at all.

Do you hide your gifts? Have you allowed a dream from your youth to die because you didn't see a place for your talent within the tribe? 

My prayer for you today is that you would allow this passage of Scripture to breathe life into your spirit. Reread Exodus 35-39. Notice everything this seemingly obscure craftsman made for his God. Notice the skill, the giftings this man had to have in order to accomplish this enormous task. And let the Living Spirit speak to you about the talents and gifts He has given you. Let Him reawaken those gifts you've allowed to wither. Perhaps the tribe is simply not ready yet for the tabernacle you will build. But they will be. And it's your job to hone those skills until the day you are called by Father to use them.  

Testimony Tuesday - Prayer Can Move Mountains

Prayer Can Move Mountains

Okay. That's not exactly how the scripture goes. More like, faith can move mountains. But as we learned from Pastor Mark's message, prayer builds our faith. Alrighty, testimony over! That just about sums it up, but If you desire more details, keep reading.
  

I grew up in Texas, in the Bible belt. Practically born in church. I was raised in a non-denominational church where I attended a service at least 3 times a week. They followed a Baptist doctrinal regarding gifts of the spirit. Basically, the church of Acts was for that time not for the present.

That was 20 years of my life. Then God gave me a husband! A husband with an open mind. We moved 2,500 miles away from home right after the honeymoon to an island. So... maybe I have an open mind too. Les (the husband), was already living on the island for a few months before the wedding  and picked our church home for us. One of two options. This is how he put it to me when discussing the two churches, "small and hip? old and bland?" Hmm... not much of a decision there... I bet you can guess where we ended up. After a few weeks of Les attending he dropped a bomb... "They speak in tongues sometimes". "Wozzers...But you've told me all the people are normal and you could see us all being best friends, lifelong friends. They must have you brain washed already! " was my reply. But being married to that open minded kinda guy I was convinced to check the church out myself once we were both living on the island. Can you say UNCOMFORTABLE!

Like Les promised, after moving to the island I fell in love with the people of that small, hip church instantly!  They WERE normal! I just had to ignore the tongues thing. Besides, in Sunday service it was pretty rare to ever hear it or at least not very loud and I would convince myself that maybe they were praying in Latin or Chinese. Better to ignore it.

Being a part of this small and hip church blending in, slipping out right after service was not an option.  Being responsible young people with tons of free time who loved the Lord we got roped in to volunteer for several ministries inside the church pretty fast.  Les was first to volunteer his time and talent with the worship band which required them praying after Sunday morning practice and before service started. Shortly after I volunteered with the media team and was also required to join in on the time of prayer.  Boom! Then it hit me! ALL of the leadership spoke in tongues! And really loud,  fired up loud! But it didn't scare me. I could see their passion, fire and love for the Lord coming from their mouths in words I couldn't understand. I HAD to know more!

Through membership class we learned that there was a difference between a gift of the spirit and a prayer language. A prayer language being a result of being baptized in the Holy Spirit. Where a gift of tongues is one of many spiritual gifts God can give you, and when used there would be an interpreter. The gift is meant to edify the body and the prayer language is meant to edify you.  I felt like a whole new level of my relationship with Christ was within reach something I was now yearning for.  

A women's prayer group was started at the church at an ungodly hour... 6:00am! I went. I will say nothing of my teeth being brushed or not.  So many woman of the church spoke in their own prayer languages. I could feel the power of the Holy Spirit in that room every week that I attended. Yes, it was loud, yes, it could be distracting when trying to pray silently in English, yes, it could feel uncomfortable when you think you're the only one that can't pray in the spirit. I don't know a ton of people who can pray in English for a whole hour and keep the flow. But I have seen the average person pray in English and tongues and easily pass an hour. I needed this tool in my spiritual tool bag.  

Through discussions with my church peeps I started asking how they were baptized in the Holy Spirit. It's the safe way to ask, "how in the world can I get that mysterious language to flow out of my mouth?"  One of my friends was baptized in the Spirit at a rock concert (a non-Christian one) and she would go back and minister to young people at concerts in her youth. She said that it's the most awesome tool to use when you don't know what to pray for someone or you run out of words. Who would be more equipped to pray on your behalf? The Holy Spirit interceding for us to the Father. How could you ever come up with a better prayer yourself? I HAD to get baptized!

On a Saturday night I was talking to our landlord, Fran, while she was cleaning her bathroom, who lived above us, who was the Senior Pastor's mom, about how she was baptized in the spirit. She was in a garden, alone. Not in a church. Not by any man's doing. I sure wasn't convinced that I could do it on my own. She sensed my hesitation. She reminded me that we were having some retired missionaries as guest speakers at church the next day. Lou and Marian. Well, that was all well and good, but my shot was completely lost. I had to teach Children's Church! Oh, well! Maybe next year or maybe I could muster up the courage to have the senior pastors pray over me sometime.





About 5 minutes before my class would be in total chaos from church running so late, Fran came into the classroom and told me I had to get to the sanctuary immediately! Lou and Marian's invitation was to get baptized in the Holy Spirit! Goose bump city! What a coinkydink! I entered the sanctuary and stopped cold. Lou and Marian had their hands on Les. He was going to get it and not me... In the midst of having such thoughts another wise woman and dear friend basically pushed me into the threesome circle and said, "This is his wife".  After seconds of observing I could see that Les was getting it! Was I too late? Was I called out just to support him? Without skipping a beat, Marian turned her attention on me. She was praying in the spirit with her hands on me and kept telling me to pray.... "not in English" she would say over and over again. Tears were running down my face, I was shaking and concentrating.


Then, God gave me the picture of Peter on the boat when Jesus called him onto the water. I looked down and saw my foot coming out of the boat. It was me. God was calling me in that moment to have faith like no other time in my life. "Don't think about it. Let go" they were telling me. Les was already sharing his testimony with me from minutes before on how he was able to get to the point of letting go. I thought he must have gotten it because he's the one with the "open mind", not me.  The moment I was "out-of-my-mind" and let go of all logic it happened for me too. I remember feeling like I was stepping out of the boat and was free falling for just a split second and then I landed on solid ground (or maybe water). Funny words came out of my mouth. It sounded like only two funny words over and over again, but I didn't care! I knew without a doubt that they were not two of my words or made up words.  I could feel the power of the Holy Ghost on me. I felt completely saturated in the Holy Spirit. We were released that day and told to pray in our prayer language daily, together, at meals, alone in the car. It's like any language. Your vocabulary grows, but it takes practice.

The woman's 6:00am prayer group was like fresh water to me now. A safe place to pray in tongues with my mentors and friends. I was able to grow my prayer language where I felt like a part of the team who was bringing the power of the Holy Spirit into the room.  Prayer walks were taken to a new level! Prayer Chain jumped to epic status.  

My friend and 23 year old coworker was diagnosed with Leukemia. What a great time to have my newest spiritual tool. The day she got the diagnosis I organized a 24 hour prayer, two people deep. Meaning, there was at least two people praying for her healing for over 24 hours.  I was lead to do this, not because I planned on praying for her myself for 24 hours straight, but because I had now physically felt the power of prayer. How prayer increased my faith. And I knew that it would take faith to move a mountain.

Praying in tongues, singing in tongues, is an integral part of my life.  No, it's not salvation. It will not get me to heaven. But It does bring comfort and calms anxiety. It has made my walk with Christ richer. My faith stronger. I desire for everyone to feel the fullness that I feel because of it. That is why I share my testimony.

I encourage you, if you have been baptized in the Spirit and as a result have a prayer language that has been dormant, bust it out! Practice even when you feel silly! The enemy does not want to hear it. He knows there is power in it. He will make you feel silly. Rise above Satan! Use it for the Lord, daily! Use it to pursue Him! To invite His presence right into your car as you're driving! One of my favorite verses that my husband quotes often. "He doesn't call the equipped, He equips the called."

20/20 Is Possible...With Christ

Do you wear glasses or contacts?  Do you remember what it was like when you first got them? 

I was thinking about this the other day and the spiritual analogy just blew me away.  I got glasses when I was 17.  I was a senior in high school and I remember sitting in the back row of my chemistry class and telling the guy in front of me that the chemistry teacher had horrible handwriting.  How did he expect me to read his scribbles on the blackboard?!  The guy turned around and told me I needed glasses.

Huh?  I needed glasses?  Surely not!  I could see just fine thankyouverymuch.  It was the teacher's handwriting that needed work.  And the Department of Transportation was insane if they thought drivers should be able to read those teeny little street signs!  I mean seriously!  I can't tell you how many times I would drive right by a street I was looking for because I couldn't read the sign until I got up right next to it.  Everyone else was crazy because I could see just fine!

And then I got glasses.

I remember walking out of the store after getting my new frames and lenses.  I was in shock!  You mean we're supposed to be able to see individual leaves on trees and individual blades of grass?!  You're kidding me!  I was astounded at how much I couldn't actually see because I didn't have the correct prescription. So it was actually me the whole time and not everyone else?

Now translate that to our spiritual life.  How often do we "see" a situation and think 'what is wrong with that person? can't they see that what they did/said was mean/irresponsible/unbelievable?' How often do we blame others for things we see/feel just like I blamed my high school chemistry teacher and all of the Department of Transportation?

We each perceive the world differently based on our "prescription" yet we don't go to the only One Who sees the world in perfect 20/20 to help us see correctly. We all think we're 20/20.  We think that we're the only one in the world that has a correct view of things.  Everyone else is blind.  How much heartache, loneliness, hurt and anger are a result of our lenses being different than that of someone else?

Last year I went away on a retreat and spent 5 whole days with God, with my "eye doctor".  He did a spiritual exam and showed me that my prescription wasn't 20/20 but more like 20/400!  Haha!  Wasn't I surprised?!  You mean I'm supposed to be able to see others how Christ does?  You mean I was viewing the world through my own hurt and wounds?  I realized how distorted my view had become simply because I hadn't received the correct prescription.

I'm not claiming my vision is 20/20.  I need constant check ups!  Jesus is the only One Who can realign my vision, show my where I need more tweaking and remind me to see through other's lenses so I can have a better idea of how they perceive the world. 

Have you had your check-up yet?

Throwback Thursday - The Cost

Have you ever heard 'you get what you pay for?' It's very true often times. I'm a bit of a bargain shopper and when I buy cheap shirts they always seem to get tiny holes in them or when I buy cheap shoes they tend to be uncomfortable or wear out quickly. It frustrates me really. I want to be able to have good quality stuff for cheap. Not really a reality though.

Mark on the other hand doesn't mind spending money. He has had no problem dropping $100 on a pair of shoes. Or more! I remember when he bought me a pair of Dansko's for my birthday several years ago. I thought I would throw up when I found out how much they were. But I will tell you that I still have those shoes, they are still quite comfy and I still wear them. 3 summers ago I bought a pair of Choco's (nice sandals) for $100. I wear them all summer long. Everyday. Absolutely my favorite pair of sandals. And I will have them forever. Mark is totally changing my perspective on spending more for something that will last. 

You may wonder why I decided to blog about expensive shoes. I really do have a point. This weekend God challenged me with the cost of knowing Him. I have heard plenty of sermons on the cost of discipleship. But I think on Sunday God spoke to me very clearly about the cost. 

I had been praying for more of Him. What does that mean? Well I prayed that our church (and myself) would love Him more, would desire to know Him more, would be willing to serve Him more. This past weekend I experienced God in a deeper way. He spoke powerfully to me. I desire that that continues. 

And He said, do you know what that will cost? Sure I thought. Time.  Perhaps money. And He said yes...and also possibly relationships. There may be people who don't want to follow where you lead. Are you willing to still go? There are people who may not like what you're doing. Will you still do it? There may be folks who resist your teaching. Will you still teach? 

Whoa. It completely stopped me in my tracks as faces of people I love dearly flashed before my minds eye. Am I willing? Am I willing to do, go and teach what God says even if it costs me? 

Abraham was. Noah was. Moses was. David was. Esther was. Elijah was. Isaiah was. Daniel was. Jesus was. Paul was. Peter was. James and John were. 

God is certainly worth it. He is worth my all. I prayed against fear of man and fear of failure. I prayed that he would make me bold and obedient and courageous. 

I will get what I pay for with my relationship with God. I can have a little or I can have it all. I can pay a little or I can pay it all. 

He paid it all for me. He must think I am worth it. 

Throwback Thursday - Perfection

(Originally published in 2011)

Perfection.  Is that a realistic notion?   Can we really expect perfection from anyone?  Anything?  Does God expect perfection from us?

I've been pondering perfection.  I have come across people in my life who expect perfection from me, my husband and/or my children and it's heartbreaking because it's impossible for us to ever live up to those expectations.   It isn't loving, grace-filled or truthful.

It makes me think of my relationship with Jesus.   How does He see me?  What does He expect from me?   Perfection?  Hardly!  Perfection means no grace and Jesus personifies grace and truth.  Perfection and grace can not go hand in hand when describing anyone else except Jesus.  You can not expect perfection from yourself or from others and still give grace.  It just doesn't make sense.

Jesus knew from the very beginning that we would fail.  He knew it and yet he still died for us and still loves us today.  Amazing!  We can't really even to begin to understand that love.  He pours that out for us daily.  Daily we fail to be perfect and daily He loves us with grace and truth.  He's not disappointed or mad or frustrated or impatient.  He's just loving.

I've come across people who have gotten angry with me or my children in an instant.  They've been upset because a harsh word was spoken or because we weren't grateful or because we were wrapped up in ourselves. We've been in the wrong, no doubt, but then that was it.  We had one chance and we blew it. There was frustration or anger or impatience or disappointment and we were done.  No chance (it seemed) to be forgiven and start over.  No chance to learn how to be better.  No chance.

How often have I done the same thing to others?  I've been on the receiving end of the expectation of perfection and it's a yucky feeling.  A feeling of never being good enough.  Never.  And I hate it.  It's made me open my eyes more and more to my own treatment and expectations of others.  Do I expect perfection?  Am I filled with grace in truth in my relationships or do I write people off when they fail me?  Do I understand that people will fail but it is grace and truth that lifts them up to try again, not a broken relationship?  Do I give grace and truth to those who have expected perfection from me?  Ouch. That's a hard one.

And to just make it harder...do I expect [impossible] perfection from myself?  Do I treat myself like Jesus does?  With compassion and grace and value?  Grace + Truth over time = change.  How can I change if I don't give myself grace and truth?

Perfection expects the right thing all the time.
Grace {and truth - can't have one without the other!} understands that the right thing won't be said all the time and says please don't talk to me that way...let's try again.

Perfection expects the correct behavior all the time.
Grace and truth understands that we are all sinful humans struggling to learn and grow and says that really wasn't a good choice...here's a better idea.

Perfection expects that people will never fail {and boy will they be disappointed!}.
Grace and truth understands that we've all fallen short and that it is very, very possible, when we get knocked down, to get up again, brush ourselves off and keep going!

I don't know where you are at today but I have been uber challenged to adjust my expectations.  Not lower them but adjust them.  I want to be the kind of spouse/parent/friend/sister where it's safe to fail with me.  I want to be a safe place for people to be....people!  I don't want people to walk on pins and needles around me...afraid that if they fail I will write them off.  Jesus never wrote anyone off.  Even those who failed Him as He was being crucified.  His love, grace and truth were poured out even in those moments.   How I wish to be that kind of friend!

And how thankful I am that even as I'm walking this road of grace and truth that God knows that I will fail...a lot.  I pray that I will have grace for my own life as I learn how to love others as He loves me.

*on a random side note: I googled an image for perfect/perfection and Google gave me images of celebrities, houses, landscapes, coffee etc.  I guess perfect is in the eye of the beholder eh?*

Throwback Thursday - Help

(originally published in 2010)

Pretty much everyday I can guarantee that one of my children will ask me for help. Help in getting dressed, getting food, learning to read, getting a toy out etc...They are able and willing to ask for help. They know they can't do it all by themselves.

Why can't adults do the same thing? Why is it so much harder for us to ask for help?

I was reading the New Testament with Kale when I came across something that struck me. It was the story of the ten lepers that Jesus healed. Usually it's been told as a story about being thankful but today I read something different (Go God!).

It said "From a distance they called loudly, 'Jesus, Master, have mercy on us!' Never did Jesus pass by and refuse to help one who called." { I bolded the part that struck me - not literally struck me of course} This story is in Luke.

When Jesus healed the blind, the sick, the dumb, the lame, the dead it was because they came to Him to ask for help. It took humbling themselves and asking for God to do the miraculous.

I've heard people say it's not "who they are" or "how they were made" to ask for help. I realize it isn't an easy thing to do. I definitely have not perfected the art of asking by any means. BUT I do recognize that we won't always receive help until we ask for it. God has shown that to Mark and I. It's easy (for us at this point - not for everyone but that's a different post) to ask God for help. And I think that's because we expect Him to help us. And we should. He does, He will and He loves to. But I also know that He uses His people to answer those prayers and to help. And how will His people always know how or when to help unless we ask.

Sure we can hint but isn't that kind of annoying? Let's just come out and say it. I need help. I believe there are times when God will lay it on someone's heart to do something for someone in secret and I love it! when that happens. God absolutely can do it. But I think He also wants us to be humble and ask those that He's put into our lives to help us.

If we need someone to help us care for our children then we can ask. If we need help tearing apart our bathroom, or putting it back together for that matter, then we can ask. If we need advice about something we can ask. If we need help in our ministry we can ask. If we need help moving we can ask. If we have a financial struggle we can ask.

Yes, people can say no but they can never say yes unless we ask.

Humbling? Yes. Easy to do? No. Will it stretch us? Yes. Will it increase our faith? Yes. Will it be the end of the world if we ask? No. Will it give others opportunity to give and to help? Absolutely and most likely they'll love to do it. Just give them the chance.

I will still be on the lookout for people I can help. This isn't to say we should only do something when we're asked. That's not what I mean. But I believe there is a work that God is wanting to do in me/us when we ask Him and when we ask others for help.