Testimony Tuesday - Women's Retreat Part 5

I can't fix it, but He can.
This weekend i Have opened myself to more relationship that I probably have in .... forever.  No matter how many devastated, ended, or unhealthy relationships I have had, or unhealthy situation I have been in, my heart WILL be redeemed and healed.  It's a good thing He love redeeming because I have a lot of junk to be redeemed from.
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The more important and special thing to me this weekend was value.  I want to be the hands, the mouth, the feet, the ears, I want to do anything and everything that I can possibly do to be a disciple and show other women that they have value, the way that I have been shown that I have value.  I am special and I bring something special that God has given me, that nobody else can bring the way that I can.
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I can't say that there was anything "huge" in my life but I have experienced a time of refreshing in the Lord - a time of re-connecting and once again a desire to seek Him more fully, more passionately.  So, even though that my not be big to anyone else, it is big in my life and my walk with the Lord.  Thank you for you words and time of preparation to share with us what God has put on your heart!
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With the leaves turning and the rain falling, what a beautiful time to do my shedding of the "crusty old girl" and allowing my Heavenly Father to wash me up, drop my dots and re-identify myself to the true woman that He had made me.  I have been reminded of my "true place" in my world of wife, family and work.  Now it's our time to walk it out faithfully.
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My heart's prayer in coming to this retreat was to meet women, new friends of deep faith.  I found many kindred spirits here which was a joy and met a deep need.  I am still ruminating on that part for me of God's particular design and purpose, but I know the Holy Spirit touched me as tears appeared often (but part of that could be that I forgot to bring my hormone replacement pills!) Haha!
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God set me free from bitterness and anger!
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I have been shown that sorrow is keeping me from receiving all that Jesus has for me and wants me to do.
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God's plan is never wrong...wait on the Lord... Life lessons...for others are thru/can be thru me...all because He love ALL.  It will bring pain and hurt, and joy because He loves us His daughters.
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It was a revelation to learn that we were created for beauty.  My sin has been believing that I am vain for trying to be pretty.  But it backfired.  Instead of not thinking about it, I obsessed over it and tried too hard: buying clothes, cosmetics, over-exercising, dieting, checking the mirror, checking the scale... Praise God I am free!! Thank you Lord!
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Testimony Tuesday - Women's Retreat Part 5

We here are so blessed because we are God's children so our eyes/hearts are open to His Spirit and love and promises.  May we yield to His Spirit daily so that we can show this light to our non-Christian friends.  How sad that they don't have His Spirit to show them how really beautiful they are. Let's be bold and reach out to them.
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Yahoo Jesus!  Restoring my marriage!  Healing my heart!  Hallelujah!!! Glory!
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Wahoo!  Thank you Lord for forgiving me of the sin of fear and failure!  I am so grateful for your love for me!
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Friday morning the first thing I heard - Jumping off point.  God help me take the plunge
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This retreat has blessed me in so many ways.  God has been pulling on my heart then He brought it.  Every single doubt and questions I had for Him have been answered.  Thank you Jill and all of the women who helped put this retreat together.  It has become something I look forward to every year.
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I had quite a few things revealed to me this weekend.  Things I need to work on.  Things I am doing well.  But when it came time to write one down, my mind would draw a blank.  Until this morning.  While singing to God in the shower, a few lines of one song kept reverberating in my heart.  One word of the verse more than the others.  I sang this.  
      Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree
      BENDING beneath the weight of His love and mercy
It stuck out to me because I keep believing the lie that He wants to change everything about me and my life.  That He wants to break me, when all He really wants is for me to bend beneath His love and mercy.  That He wants to change me quietly.  Get rid of the bad and keep the good.
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This weekend marks the start of new God-designed me!
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ONLY GOD could use a sleeping bag to teach...
I woke up this morning and had a thought... "I'm gonna get up and fix my bed...lay my sleeping bag out smooth, straighten my pillows," I decided.
God questioned me, "Why are you gonna do that?"
My immediate thought was,"So my cabin mates will think I have it all together."
God replied, "Why does it matter what they think? I love you even if it stays in a pile on your bed or even if you leave them in a lump pile in the middle of the floor.  How I feel about YOU is the ONLY thing that matters!"
Me: "Oh God...only You could use my sleeping bag to teach me about my worth."

Testimony Tuesday - Women's Retreat Part 4

The fact that my womb and my breasts are a symbol of who God is, makes this pregnancy mean so much more.  I am humbled and honored that God would use me to bring life and speak life into my children and hubby.  My body is BEAUTIFUL no matter what the world or Satan might tell me.  Father I thank You for this amazing gift.
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This weekend the Lord has revealed to me that I am a daughter of a King, romantically fashioned to influence, nurture and bring life to the people in my life.  I have learned that the world I've grown up in and heard from has told me some lies that have wrecked the foundation of what I have thought and known about God.  I'm a life giver.  I can't wait to influence the people in my life with this beautiful gift.  
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I am enough for Him.  We are enough for Him.
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I am life giving.  Even if I've believed the voices of the world telling me that because I've never had a child, I'm not.  I choose to hear and believe the Voice of the Lord Who tells me that I am.  I am life giving even though my womb is empty.  I will trust the Lord.
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This weekend God started tugging at 2 roots that I've known about for a long time but have never been ready to let go of until now.  Pride and fault-finding.  They both make me act like a jerk but in times past I've always found a way to justify it or pass the blame off to someone else.  I asked God why I do this and He revealed to me that I am insecure and scared of being embarrassed.  To kill this week God showed me that I am not good, but He is and He dwells within me making me good, therefore all credit for anything I do good goes to God.  I believe as my pride begins to melt away, fault-finding will as well, because I will not longer need to find someone else to blame for my behavior.