Start-Up Repair

 By Nancy Turley 

It is because of the Lord’s lovingkindnesses that we are not consumed,
Because His [tender] compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
Great and beyond measure is Your faithfulness.
                                                                                                              Lamentations 3:23

Our dogs jumped up on our bed, acting as our usual alarm clock to wake us.  It took me a moment to compute what day it was…a working day or a weekend.  I relished the time on weekends, not so much to sleep in but to have more time in my “reading room” to read in the morning, pray, and do some writing.  That morning I wanted to get busy on my laptop to write some ideas down before I forgot them.  I pressed the power button and could hear the power noise on my laptop gearing up. Then, in just a few seconds...BLIP!  The power light flashed off and the monitor went dark as if a fuse had blown.

I groaned as thoughts flashed back to the last time this happened when I had to take it into the computer shop to get it fixed. It took four days before I could pick it up.  I use my laptop almost every day, so I was frustrated and disappointed that it had once again lost power.  I wondered if I had not charged the laptop last time before I set it to hibernate and it had run out of juice.

I retrieved the electric cord from my laptop bag, plugged it into laptop and the power outlet and again pressed the power button. I tried a new approach this time and held it down until past the time the laptop started booting up. The monitor screen came on with the message alerting me that there had been an interruption in my last session and then a screen came up titled “Start-Up Repair.”

I sighed in relief but wondered if this repair would really work as I had no idea what caused it to blip out in the first place. The battery said it was still at 43%, so it was not what I had originally thought. I followed the Window application questions.  It felt like it was an analogy to hard booting my own morning. And the thought did not escape me that this was what we need at times for other situations in our own lives.

The question first from my laptop was: 

“Do you want to restore your computer using Start-up Repair to an earlier time when the computer worked correctly?”

I’m thinking, “Well, duh. Of course I want it to work correctly. Would someone actually say NO to that?”

Then further informative words came forth from my anthropomorphic laptop: “The repair will not change personal data, but it might remove some programs that were recently installed."

I’m pondering again: “Hmmm…I don’t think I have purposefully loaded a new program on here, so where did that come from?”

”You cannot undo this restoration,” says my laptop.

My unverbalized retort to my Dr. Spock-like laptop was, “Okay.  If my goal is to get you working again and it won’t change my personal data previously stored on my laptop, this is good. And yet, if it were me, not the laptop, I may want you to change some past personal data as well as correct that malware I installed.”

I went ahead and pressed the button to proceed with this repair. My laptop’s reply: “Your computer might restart several times during this process and might take several minutes.”

In the end, instead of several minutes, it took thirty, but my laptop did restart and it only took one time.  It rebooted fine and was back to normal. Still, the analogy was blatant enough not to ignore possible implications. I still don’t know what caused it to blip out in the first place.  But I remembered that my first thought went to a bad case scenario. “I’m going to have to take my laptop away to get this fixed and it’s going to take four days.”

Then my thoughts moved to, “Hmm. Well, I just met a man who goes to my church who could fix it and probably quicker than the other guys. This may not be so bad and it would give me an opportunity to get to know him and his wife better.” I breathed up a quick prayer and let go of my negative energy about it.

Then it went to, “Let’s try one more thing before I give up.  Let’s plug it into the power with the electric cord and see if it might connect better that way.”

Once again, my short-lived real-life situation of my laptop start-up repair felt like it revealed several analogous lessons:

1)      The story we tell ourselves instead of getting the facts may skew the outcome.

2)      Reframing the circumstances and import of the “event” may yet bring hope and lead to resolution.

3)      Plugging into power (from God or empowerment from friends) can affect a repair or solution that will work. (Note to self:  it may take longer than originally thought, but it will work.)

4)     God still keeps the essence of who we are (He doesn't want to change that) but does wasn't to repair the thoughts and our character that cause us to "blip out!"

5)     The restoring salvation God gives is for keeps…it can’t be undone.

6)     And yet, if we need start-up repair again for whatever reason, He’ll take us back to the point it occurred and restore us anew then too. His mercies and compassion happen every day.

The Administration of Reconciliation

By Tawna Wilkinson

    

The other day, I had a hard and messy conversation with an individual regarding their dissatisfaction with the church, and what they felt was wrong with it. The truth is I was hurt and very frustrated, as this wasn’t the first time I’d been approached with the same thing.

However, after I allowed myself the shabby process of sorting out my raw emotions with God and my husband, the Lord reminded of II Corinthians 5:17-21:

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. Now all things are of God, who has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ, and has given us the ministry of reconciliation, that is, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not imputing their trespasses to them, and has committed to us the word of reconciliation. Now then, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were pleading through us: we implore you on Christ’s behalf, be reconciled to God. For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.”

I realized if things were the way He intended in the beginning, there would be no need for our administrating reconciliation. For when things are reconciled, they are back to the way they were created to be.

When Christ was here He waded through enormous dysfunction with people’s perceptions of what He needed to do to make things right – in the synagogues; with the Pharisees and crowds; with the twelve men He hand-picked to journey with Him; even with his mother and siblings. And though Scripture doesn’t give much detail about His childhood, I can’t help but think there was a lot of muddling He had to endure just being a kid and teenager.

We want things to be neat and tidy; to be okay. And more times than not, I think that means, the way I want them to be. We hate the groaning our spirits, bodies and souls experience when we perceive things are not the way they’re supposed to be. And the last thing we want to do is stick around and engage in the hard work of restoration.

 Several years ago, a wise young man said to me, “Relationships are messy, and no one wants to get involved in them.” He was right. It’s obvious. When things don’t go the way we want, our first reaction is to bail…. don’t stick around and muddle through the mess and confusing in-betweens. It hurts. It’s hard. We have no promise that we’re going to see resolution. And what’s worse, we have no control over the outcome, let alone another’s choice.

I completely understand. I’ve bailed more times than I care to admit. I’ve thrown my hands up in frustration umpteen times, “knowing” for certain things are never going to change. But if that is true, then this passage of Scripture isn’t.

So today, I am actually thankful for the individual approaching me. For although the issue was not resolved, I now see I was presented with another opportunity to use my “ambassador muscles.” God, and this person, trusted me with part of the messy process of bringing a piece of reconciliation to this beautiful, broken and messy world. And I am glad I chose to engage in it.

When All Is Quiet

By Tiffany Bleger

When all is quiet

Where do you go?

When His voice isn't clear

Where do you run?

Do you charge ahead

Determined in your path?

Do you stand stock still

And wait for the whisper?

Do you turn and run

Back to the familiar?

Do you wander in circles

Moving but going no where?

When all is quiet

Where do you go?

When His voice isn't clear

Where do you run?

Do you lean on your friends 

For an encouraging word?

Maybe listen a little harder

To Sunday's sermon?

Do you beg and plead

And beat your head?

Do you make promises 

You know you won't keep?

When all is quiet

Where do you go?

When His voice isn't clear

Where do you run?

Do you pick up your bible 

And blow off the dust?

Do you listen to music

You think He would love?

Or do you trust and wait

And remember His promises?

Do you know Him well enough

To be still in the quiet?

When all is quiet

Where do you go?

When His voice isn't clear

Where do you run?

I Need a Clean Sweep

By Jill Palmer

I was driving past a storage place one time and the sign out front read "Too much stuff? Store it here. First month's rent is free!" 

My first thought was that I would give stuff away before I had to pay someone to store it for me. If you're moving that's different but I personally don't want to own more stuff then I can keep at my own house. Paying someone to store my junk doesn't make sense to me. And I don't know if you've noticed this or not but these storage facilities are going up everywhere! We live in a culture with so much extra. 

We find ourselves with extra things that need storing. We see the sign "first month free" and we find our solution! 

BUT THEN comes the sneaky part. As soon as that first month is over they start charging your credit card to pay rent on the unit. You see the charge on your card and say to yourself "I've got to go through that storage unit and get rid of stuff and not pay any more rent." 

And you do that for months....

As I was musing over that The Lord spoke to me and said that is what we do with our emotional junk. We aren't willing to part with old wounds, aren't willing to forgive, aren't wanting to let things go that we were never meant to carry. And so we store it. And the enemy tempts us and says it's okay...the first month is free! 

And it seems like such a good deal so we do it. "I'm mad at so and so and they don't deserve my kindness." We decide to hold onto something. And at first it's fine. No big deal. It's "free". 

Ya see, each of us has our own storage unit full of past hurts, unforgiveness and wounds. And every once in a while we are reminded that we are "paying" for them. Something happens that reminds us of what's in the "storage unit".  And we promise we'll deal with it soon so we don't have to keep on paying that rent. 

And we do that for months....or years...

See where this is going? This next picture might make you chuckle. 

Jesus wants to come in and help you clean out your storage unit. He wants to go through all that stuff that's been packed in there for years.  Sort through what is to keep and what is to dump. And He sticks with you throughout the whole process! It's like Clean Sweep! Remember that show on TLC several years ago?! 

He says in his word that His yoke is easy and His burden is light.  If you are feeling weighed down by the world then maybe it's time to let Jesus into your storage unit and help you clean it out. And stop paying the enemy to store your junk! 

Have you been paying the enemy to store your junk and saying to yourself "I'll get to it later"? How can you begin to take steps towards a "Clean Sweep"?

In All Circumstances

By Esther Belin

 Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.  ~ 1 Thess. 5:16-18 NIV

During a recent season of practicing this verse, I started reading The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom. This book was the perfect companion to this season because I was drawn to examine my circumstances. Corrie hid Jewish people in her home during World War II and later became a prisoner in a Nazi concentration camp. She lived in daily dread and constant pressure, yet she allowed her circumstances to reveal God’s power regardless of the times she had no idea how she was going to do what needed to be done. I have read several secular texts about the Jewish concentration camps that were grueling to read because they tended to focus on the evil of humanity (sin). Oddly, her memoir was a blessing to me because of her perspective to glorify God – which many times was prompted by her sister, Betsie. Rather than focusing on each set back, each moment of injustice, the sisters focused on God’s power for daily existence – truly living out 1 Thess. 5:16-18 – by being joyful always, praying continually and giving thanks in all circumstances.

This command is simple yet requires a consistent posture, an intentional effort to make fine-tune adjustments in order to hear from God so that you may do His will. I have the luxury of so many choices, so many ways to worship God/not worship God, to be focused/to be distracted. While I enjoy my freedom to choose, I also allow that freedom to become an agent for the enemy. I am ashamed to reveal how I reposition God to fit my choices. The result is an entanglement of exhaustive busyness – a “chasing after the wind” (Ecc. 1:14). The choice to follow Him requires a keen awareness to the tension needed for stretching my spiritual muscles. When I am “chasing after the wind” – my choice is to forego stretching and sag toward complacency, waywardness.

I am in wonderment of the delicate nature of being in God’s will. At one point in the book, Corrie and Betsie prayed a simple prayer giving thanks for their latest living quarters that included a swarm of fleas! At the time, Corrie’s heart was troubled to give thanks for a flea infestation, but she obeyed God’s command. Later, Corrie revealed how that horrible flea infestation created hours of opportunity to freely witness to others since their work station was so badly infested that even the guards dare not enter. While she and Betsie enjoyed a work detail free from the harsh watch of guards, they also were constantly flea-bitten! During this time of constant spiritual stretching, they were continually praying, giving thanks in all circumstances. The practice of continually exercising their spiritual muscles tapped them into Christ’s power to endure the emotional and physical torture.  

As Christ followers, I know we are not promised a life of ease; we are however able to stand on Christ’s promises – of new life, of provision, of perfect timing. I have been in the cycle of the whirl – chasing the wind – seeking a formula rather than seeking the One who can rescue me from this cycle. 

Corrie’s story is fantastical not because of the suffering but because of God’s presence in the midst of her suffering. Staying in the presence of God is doable yet when His presence involves long-suffering, meekness and temperance, I tend to seek more desirable fruits of the Spirit. I want the love, joy, peace. I want to pick my own basket of fruit! O, how I stumble – O, how I seek shelter under God’s veil of mercy. I tell God that I am His servant yet I balk and tug at the first sign of arduous tasks; I resist eating fruits of patience and self-control. I resist God’s sovereignty as the master gardener – the One who prunes, the One who holds the blueprints of my purpose.  

“He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit  he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful” (John 15:2).  

When doing a word study on this verse, I meditated on the difference between cutting off branches and pruning branches. The cutting off is generally done to branches that are withered and already dead perhaps never reaching their full potential. They are cut off from the vine to allow the remaining branches to bear fruit. Pruning is done to healthy fruit-bearing branches in order to continue the process of bearing more fruit. Both scenarios are part of the master gardener’s plan and both scenarios are painful.

Dear Readers, now when fruits of long-suffering, meekness and temperance are served to me, I fondly think of Corrie and Betsie – sweet sisters in Christ who I am looking forward to meeting one day in heaven – and quiet my soul to be joyful always, pray continually and give thanks in all circumstances.

What do you focus on during the process of pruning and cutting? Are you tempted to "pick your own fruit"?

Focused Tension

By Jill Palmer

Tension. It’s not a word I love but it’s one I’m learning to appreciate. Tension is necessary in so many aspects of life. If the bungee cord is too tight then there won’t be any give when you jump. If it’s too loose…let’s just say that’s not a good option either. If the rope holding the piano to the back of the truck is too tight, it won’t fit and could damage the piano. If it’s too loose, make sure you’re not the one driving behind that truck on a hill.

Can you see why tension is necessary? Everything in the natural is a representation of something in the supernatural and tension is no different.

The Merriam-Webster definition that best fits is “a balance maintained in an artistic work between opposing forces or elements.”

This is Jesus. He was, and is, the perfect balance in an artistic work between opposing forces or elements. He is grace and truth. Mercy and judgment. The beginning and the end. The law and forgiveness. The Sacrifice and the One Who requires it. It really boggles the mind how much tension Christ endured when He walked this earth. And yet it was necessary and it was beautiful.

My life, I have found, is very much filled with this sort of tension. However, I’ve always viewed it as conflict that needs to be resolved rather than a tension that needs to be maintained between opposing forces.

The balance between who I think I should be and who I really am, for example. Truly it can’t be either/or. It has to be both. Unfortunately I’ve been warring with this conflict for so long it’s a struggle to see how it could possibly be both.

Who I think I should be, really who God created me to be in the beginning, is unattainable in this world. If I were to live in this unreachable place I would constantly feel defeated, less than, hopeless and frustrated. Having all patience and kindness and grace in all circumstances is never going to happen. I have limitations as a fallen human in this world. It is not possible to be perfect and to handle every situation as Christ did. It’s just not.

Conversely, it isn’t possible for me to live a healthy, abundant life if I stay living who I really am at this moment. I need to accept who I am but I can’t stay there if I want to enjoy all the promises of God. Who I am right now isn’t who I’m meant to be forever. It’s a stop along the journey. It’s the result of experiences and challenges and the knowledge I’ve gained over my 39 years. It’s part of the process, it isn’t the finished result. Living in this place alone can also leave me feeling defeated, less than and hopeless because I will constantly find myself unable to receive all that God has for me. Intimate relationships, deep and constant joy, freedom and healing are all gifts God has promised to me. In this lifetime I’m always journeying to who I was made to be and if I decide to just stop at the nearest bus stop and give up the journey I’ll never arrive will I?

The beautiful, uncomfortable, healthy tension is lived out everyday in every circumstance. Going back and forth between the wife I want to be and the the wife I actually am right now. The kind of mom I think I should be and the mom I really am at this moment. The follower of Jesus that I strive to be and the disciple that I really am. This difficult reality. This artistic work between opposing forces.

I love the language of that. It describes something that is not simple, not complicated but artful (done with or showing artistic skill). Beautiful, uncomfortable and necessary in order to experience real relationship and real growth.

So instead of running from the tension or trying to resolve it, I’m choosing to embrace it, go with it and live in it because I want to see the fullness of God in my life. I’m forever thankful to Jesus Christ for being my model and my coach in this tension-filled journey.

What kind of tension do you experience? Do you see it as conflict or can you recognize the tension?

Getting Burned

By Tiffany Bleger

Recently I spent the better part of the day burning a slash pile on our property. For those who are unfamiliar with country life, a slash pile is a big pile of dead branches, sticks, leaves, grass clippings, etc.  It looks something like this:

For my naturally introverted self, it was a great day. Almost 7 hours of virtually uninterrupted alone time. It gave me lots of time to sit and think. To ask Father questions and be able to wait for the answer. 

It is fascinating for me to sit in front of a fire. I love watching what starts as a tiny flame...

... quickly turning into a raging inferno. 

I can stare at a fire for hours. The beauty and simplicity of the flames. The ease with which fire consumes everything in its path. The tenacity and determination to push through obstacles. Eventually, everything a fire touches will be reduced to ash. 

Many times throughout that day, the fire was simply too hot for me to approach. The sheer heat of the inferno would cause my skin to redden and burn if I got too close. It gave me a new appreciation for the story of Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego, and the blazing furnace from Daniel 3, that's for sure!

So what, you may ask, did Father have to say to me that day? Well, as it turns out, He taught me about gold. Did you know that the average temperature of a wood bonfire, like mine, is about 1,100 degrees Celsius? And that the melting point of gold is 1,064 degrees Celsius? This means that the fire I could not approach without getting burned would have melted gold had I thrown any in. 

Do you know why gold is melted?  When gold ore comes out of the mine, the gold is embedded in other rocks and minerals. It looks much like this:

(This picture is actually iron pyrite, also knows fool's gold. But it looks incredibly similar, almost indiscernible, to gold when it comes out of the earth in its ore form.) 

The only way to get the gold by itself is to melt it down. Melting the gold down into its liquid form allows all impurities and other minerals to separate from the gold. Once the gold has gone through the intense heat of the flame, it is left in its purest form. 

Do you see where I'm going with this yet?

You are that gold, dear sister. You are a treasure, a precious metal in the eyes of your Father. But you have come out of this world (the mine) with covered in junk. Covered in the impurities and scars that a broken and fallen world will leave. And you can choose to remain that way, if you want, but your Father wants so much more for you. He wants you to shine like gold was always created to shine. 

I did not leave that slash pile the entire day. I watched it, carefully. By my side were the tools I needed to keep the fire in check. I wanted it to burn, and burn hot, but I never let the flames get too high, nor did I let the fire escape the boundary I designed. There is a purpose to fire and it is healthy when kept in its place. 

Father will do that for you. You may be in the fire right now, you may have just come out of the fire, or you may not be anywhere close to the flame. But, I can guarantee that we will all be in it at some point. Are you willing to let Him turn up the heat?  Are you willing to trust that He is constantly watching the fire, tending the border and keeping the flames in their rightful place?  Are you willing to let Him burn away the impurities? 

Know, dear sister, that He will not leave you in that liquid state. He will not burn off the impurities and then forget about you. Once the gold has been melted and the impurities removed, the goldsmith pours the liquid gold into a mold of his own design. You see, gold cannot be molded unless it has been melted. If you allow Father to melt you, He will mold you, and you will come out of it looking more and more like Him.