Throwback Thursday --- Why Church?

----originally published in 2011----

I get asked that question often. Not everyday but a couple times a year I think. That's often, I think, for a question like that. The conversation comes around to why do we need to go to church? What's the point?

As someone who loves going to church, being a part of a church, serving at a church, giving to a church and whose husband is employed by the church, I love answering this question. Cause I love my church! But I know I can't answer it like that for someone who doesn't.

Our last small group had this same discussion. Why go to church? I also recently talked with a good friend who asked what church was supposed to look like and what did God design church for.

After discussing this many times and sharing thoughts and scripture I think I'd answer it this way:

Because God created the church and the church body for His glory. At church is where we can corporately experience and share His glory. At church is where His glory is multiplied exponentially.

Does this mean God can't be glorified outside the church? No. Not at all. But I believe there is something special and unique about the way God uses a church and the people in it (if they allow Him to!).

Here's what I mean. In Matthew 14 Jesus and His disciples found themselves on a hill teaching 5000 men (and most likely women and children but only the number of men was recorded). It came time for them to eat. The disciples didn't know how everyone was going to be fed. The only food they were able to come up with was 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish. Not enough at all to feed 5000 men (probably 10,000 people!). But Jesus knew what to do.

He took what they had and multiplied it exponentially and everyone was fed with 12 baskets of food left over!

I believe He does that at church. He takes what we have, what we give Him - our time, our talent, our money, our worship - and multiplies it exponentially. It overflows and blesses the city around us and our world.

Here's what I mean. When we use our talents for Him as part of a church body of believers He increases it. Mark, for example, has a great voice. A talent God gave Him. He could use it at home, use it in the car, use it in a park but it's greatest use is at church as He leads people in our congregation to worship! That doesn't mean God can't use that talent anywhere else, He most certainly can, but people are impacted by the worship He leads and it spills over into lives throughout the week. Touching way more people than Mark could do alone. Make sense?

Another example: Our pastor is going to be teaching a pastor's conference in Uganda in a couple weeks. They want to have 800 pastors attend this conference but they have to raise funds in order to rent the building, feed them etc...It's going to cost only $10 per pastor! That's crazy! Nothing in the US cost $10! So if I have $10 and I decide to, on my own, send it to Africa in hopes of helping a local pastor, how much affect do you think it will have? Not much. But if I give my $10 to my church for this conference it will pay for a pastor to attend and then go back to his local church and affect hundreds of people for Christ. My money goes further when God multiplies it through my church. Does that mean don't give if it isn't through a church? No. It just means God takes what we give at church and multiplies it exponentially.

I also think church is where we can be encouraged, challenged, taught, refreshed, supported, sharpened, prayed for, loved, blessed, and poured into. Church is my family of choice. I truly would be lost without these people God has brought into my life to do life alongside me and my family.

Many people will attend church out of obligation or guilt or habit. Many people will attend a church and think "what are they going to do for me?". Many people will attend church and hate it because it feels so empty and it doesn't fill them. Many people will question why even go to church.

I challenge everyone to think - What can I do for people at my church? What can I give to others? How can I bring God glory in my local church body?
What talent or gift has God given me to bring Him glory? I'm pretty sure if we look to help others instead of ourselves we'd enjoy church a whole lot more!

I think there's a place for each person in a church and that the church just isn't the same without each piece. When we can come together in unity, God can do incredible things and He will be glorified. He will multiply our small gifts!

Testimony Tuesday - Hearing His Voice

This past Sunday was my (Jill) last day of fasting.  As I mentioned earlier, I will be out of town this upcoming weekend and I needed to be able to be done before I go.  

Like many of those joining us on this fast, I'd been counting down the days till I got to chew food!  But as Sunday approached, I was truly sad to see it over. These past three weeks had been amazing! 

Worship, prayer, hearing the voice of God...all different and amazing when you are fasting.  At least in my experience.  There's something unique and beautiful to be in a sweet spot even in the midst of battling your flesh.  Can you relate? 

Back to Sunday.  I'd been praying and asking The Lord for a strong ending to this precious time.  I didn't want to fizzle out.  I wanted to squeeze out every last drop of opportunity God was giving me to experience Him during this fast. Not always easy to do for sure! 

Sunday after church I headed back to City Market for the umpteenth time (boy is it easy to run out of produce while juicing!). On my way into the store I noticed a man sitting on the pavement outside. A woman was giving him money out of her wallet.  I thought "how kind and thoughtful!" and went in to do my shopping.  

On my way out I saw that the young man was still there. His appearance was unkept.  I have no clue if he was homeless or not but he didn't seem like he had any place to go.  He had no cardboard sign asking for anything. He just seemed like a lonely man who'd been the recipient of tough times in life. 

As I passed by I felt The Lord saying "ask him if he is hungry". I really wish I could tell you that I immediately did what I heard, but no.  I passed by and reasoned with my head that he was fine. It would probably be insulting to ask...I don't have any cash in my wallet...etc etc.  

The Lord said "you have apples"

Yes God but those are for my fast!  I'm almost done and Mark will need them and...and...

God was silent.  But I heard scripture loudly.  Do to the least of these....entertain angels....God looks at the heart not the outward appearance. Faith takes courage (something I had JUST spoken to a woman at church). 

I loaded up my groceries and sat in the car.  Running.  Arguing.  Trying to convince myself I hadn't heard correctly.  

Finally I had the thought that if I ignore the prompting of the Holy Spirit (as I have done in the past) His still small voice would get quieter.  But if I respond, His voice will grow louder.  My fear then switched from what this man might think about me to what if I ignore this and God's voice grows quiet.  That motivated me! 

I hopped out of the car and, with God's courage, approached this man.  I smiled at him and said "Pardon me sir.  Are you hungry?" 

He was eating a Snickers bar and kind of shrugged and said "yeah".  I told him I didn't have cash but I had some food.  Would he like apples or oranges?

He said, I like apples. 

I'll be right back I told him. 

I went to my car and emptied one of the baggies of fruit and loaded it up with several apples. When I came back he said "that's too many!"  

No worries I told him.  Save them for later.  God bless you.  

I returned to my car and a feeling overwhelmed me.  I can only explain it as the Holy Spirit.  He was smiling.  

And I cried. 

I cried because God gave me another chance to hear and obey even though I've blown it before.  I cried because I so want to hear and obey instantly and not have the argument in my head that I'd just had.  I cried because God wanted to answer my prayer to finish strong and close to His side.  

As I drove home in silence I thanked God for His kindness and mercy to me.  

I have no idea if that young man needed food, or what he thought of my actions, or if those apples will change his life.  

But I will tell you that because of the work God did in my heart, those apples changed mine. 

Throwback Thursday - Decluttering

I was listening to the radio the other day and they mentioned that the perfect time to declutter our homes is when we move from one house to another. It got me thinking about my life (yeah I do that a lot...).

Whenever I've switched ministries or expanded my ministry (I've done it 3 or 4 or 5 or 6 times now and I include things like having children - they are a ministry for sure!) I have felt like stuff in my heart/life has to be decluttered. I'm moving into a new season and there just isn't room for everything to go with me. So God begins to declutter me.
He brings me my pride and tells me to get rid of it. He shows me my insecurity and tells me to burn it. He reveals to me my selfishness and tells me I don't need it. He helps me go through all my stuff and get rid of the junk I don't need (and frankly have never needed but continue to hold on to). Sometimes it's a painful process. Even though I don't like all my junk, it brings me comfort. It isn't easy to walk away from it. But I picture God like the guy on the old TLC show Clean Sweep. The guy who shows you how much you don't need what you're holding onto. The guy who helps you put it down and walk away. The guy who does a big reveal at the end in your new room/house and shows you that it's so much nicer without all the junk!

Not only does He help me get rid of the junk, He helps me pack up the stuff I do need. The stuff He's been teaching me over and over again. Wisdom. Grace. Love. Truth. Patience. Mercy. Forgiveness. Justice. Submission. Listening. Learning. He helps me put them into boxes to be moved and brought into my next season in life. There's room for that.

Just not the crap. With each new season I can see that God is here with His boxes and packing tape.

Ready to declutter.

Testimony Tuesday - Freedom!

I was reading a blog I used to write a couple days ago.  I stopped blogging in 2011 and I went back to read some of my old posts.  Three years ago I was a different person.  Three years ago I wrote in my blog I desired peace and freedom I was desperate for a move of the Holy Spirit in my heart and life and now in 2014… I am free. Free from lies, free from condemnation, free from shame, sin and guilt.  I am free because HE has cleansed me of everything that bound me in a place of hurt and pain.  I am a work in progress and I know my God is faithful so I believe he will continue to reveal things to me that I need to take to him and receive prayer to be healed from.  But I wanted to send you this testimony of God's faithfulness and the gift he gives us that is freedom in Christ Jesus. 

Recently my Dad, whom I've been estranged from for about 4 years was airlifted to Colorado Springs for an open heart surgery.  My Dad and I do not have a close relationship.  We are both wounded… and it became a very messy relationship.  I've taken time to heal my wounds and needed time away from him to do that.   I wanted my response to my Dad's wounds to be from a loving healed place.  Not a hurt and angry place.  So I created some space and pursued Jesus with a passion and fury like never before.  I've struggled with boundaries and relationships my whole life.  How much is too much, what is my responsibility, what's best for me and my heart. As a Mom and wife I have had to establish new boundaries for my life because as I pursued God and a deeper relationship with him, he revealed to me that my husband and kids are my first priority.  

Flash back to this fall I went on an amazing retreat and spent 5 days one on one with Jesus.  The only way I can describe my time away is that it was rehabilitation for my heart.  I spent my days in close relationship with my Lord and Savior, hearing his whispers of truth, his love and adoration and his encouragement and kindness.  He brought me to places where I woke up needing to talk to him and pray with someone about certain things he had wanted to talk to me about for a very long time.  I had a DEEP passion to pray and journal and read his word.  It was a beautiful time away.  During my time away and in the subsequent weeks leading up to my father's critical procedure the Lord had prepared me for the circumstance of my father's surgery.  And now as I look back on it, I realize that as I desire transformational relationship with him to freedom each "unexpected" or "disappointing" circumstance in my life he has and always will prepare me.  I don't need to live in fear or in chaos or in anxiousness.  I can receive news like this and still have peace.  A peace that surpasses all understanding.  He loves me that much. 

He is a jealous God because He loves us, not because he's a control freak.  He is the creator of the universe, but he cares about my heart.  It is with this perspective that I walk through each day in communion with him.  

So when I received the news of my Dad's operation and critical health circumstances, my first reaction was not that of panic, it was of compassion and care.  I immediately began thinking about the good memories I have of my Dad and all the ways he blessed my life. I didn't focus on the hurt he has caused me.  The Lord showed me how he had been so faithful to me providing me this person who raised me the best he could.   As I began conversations with my brother as to how to respond I was not "freaking out" at the details he provided in terms of the seriousness of my Dad's blockage in his main artery.  I was thankful that my mother in law was a cardiac nurse who had answers to lots of questions I had regarding what this looks like for him medically.  With each moment and day after I was given this difficult news I could rely on my heavenly father to provide me with his peace and his wisdom regarding decisions that needed to be made, my responsibility as it related to my Dad and boundaries for things that were mine to take care of or not mine at all… He showed me that he was in control and it was more about relying on Him than relying on my "best laid plans."  God has revealed to me that my responsibility for a lot of things in my life is rather small compared to what I think it is.  He really in a lot of areas only requires me to be communing with him for answers.  He's SO kind to me in that I can trust him with so much of my life.  My kids, my husband, my Dad, my relationships are all in his hands.  Regardless of the worst possible outcome, he is faithful to me.  

I only found this new place because of my deep desire for freedom from where I was living.  Anxiety, fear, frustration are not my friends.  Jesus is.  I'd like to add a disclaimer to my testimony.  Please know that this new freedom is awesome and as each day passes and I am compelled to draw closer to him and he reveals new things to my spirit I am not ever perfected.  But the progress we have made together has been a beautiful and wonderful journey.  The best adventure yet with my heavenly everlasting father has brought me to a place of peace in the midst of the chaos of life.   I am excited for the days to come because I know there is more freedom available to me.  I look forward to the "more" he wants to show me and the additional "love" I will receive from him.  I am thankful that this The River Church is a place where I can pursue that freedom and that I have a group of women in our women's ministry who are vulnerable enough to help me be refined with grace and love.  

I pray this testimony blesses people.  As a leader in this church it is imperative that I am obedient and submitted to the will of God in my life.  I have found great joy in it and I am honored and privileged to lead others as they pursue more of Jesus. He's so awesome. :) 

Serving Him with Joy, 

Jen Kline

Children's Pastor

Throwback Thursday - Loving Who?

----originally published May 2011----
Several weeks ago I was having a conversation with a good friend of mine who said that she was being very challenged in her life at that exact moment to love people who weren't nice to her. As she shared some of the really crummy stuff people had done to her and her family she talked about showing these same people unconditional love and that it was a difficult place. She wants to follow God's command to love your enemies but it doesn't mean it's an easy thing to do, especially when they're really mean to you! It challenged me to hear her heart. I reflected on my own life.

I had thought that I did okay loving my enemies...until I really figured out who my enemies were. When I think of the word enemy I think of someone I absolutely hate. And frankly I don't absolutely hate anyone (that I know of). But then I realized my "enemies" aren't horrible, terrible people who've done unthinkable things to me or people in other countries that I've never met. My enemies were people who hadn't been nice to me. Who hadn't treated me fairly (I thought). Those people were people who I was not showing love to. I realized that if someone asked me to cook them a meal, or give them money, or go out of my way to help them out, I probably wouldn't do it. In fact, I'd probably avoid helping them at all costs. Really? Is that what Christ has taught me to do? Wow. Yuck in my heart.

Luke 6:35-36 says "But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful."

Jill - do not withhold Christ's love from people just because they aren't people whom you think deserve it. You don't deserve what you've been given. No one does. That is called mercy. Not getting what you deserve. Overcome evil (or perceived evil) with good. Love your enemies! Do good to them. Pray for them.
Christ did that for me...how can I do less?

I am compelled to show Christ's love to ALL people (even those who I don't think deserve it) because that is what He did for me. It isn't an easy thing. I guess if it was then everyone would do it! But I'm determined to learn this and love people. It's gonna be a long process though... :)

Testimony Tuesday - Fasting

Fasting isn't easy.  It's not supposed to be.  That's probably why we (as people) tend to avoid it if possible.  Fasting involves saying no to things we want and that's just not fun! 

I have done different fasts as a believer.  Up to this point the longest juice fast I have done was 2 weeks and that was in college.  I've fasted one day a week for a while, done a Daniel fast for 21 days, done different juice fasts for a week at a time...but this one is different.  Yes it's physically different (longer) but I'm also at a different place in my life.  I find that God is always inviting me to go deeper with Him so each fast is just a bit different.  Physically it isn't fun but spiritually it's amazing!

If you do not attend our church let me fill you in.  Mark has called our church to a 21 day fast.  It started on the 11th and will go to the 31st.  He just asked people to pray about what to fast.  He and I are juice fasting (eating nothing and drinking fresh juice from our juicer and water and hot tea).  I started last Monday because I will be out of town when the fast ends and the logistics of continuing to fast or come out of the fast were a bit challenging so I started early and will end early so I can adjust to eating food again before I leave town. So today I am on Day 9. I thought I'd share a bit that God is doing in me while I've been fasting.  

Here is something I wrote down the other day as I was journaling (something I highly recommend while fasting) ---As believers our relationship with earthly things should be Yadah (meaning with open hands - you may recall that from our women's retreat). However many things are held close with tight fists. Fasting reveals our true feelings about certain things. If God is asking us to fast from something and we flat out say no, we are declaring that that is more important than Him. He reveals our relationship with that thing (food, technology, etc...) Fasting helps loosen the hold things can have on is. Fasting frees us from earthly things and focuses our eyes on Christ. ----

I have been able to look at my attitude about giving things up and have realized the need I have placed on things that I don't really "need".  What takes up my time, what distracts me, what keeps me entertained... I'm not saying we should cut out everything (as I type on my computer) but to realize the relationship I have with these things.  Are they more important that my time with God?  Sometimes my answer isn't what I'd like it to be...Fasting helps me see where I have placed things in order of importance and how I can return them to their proper place.

I had an interesting experience with my kids that I thought I'd share with you.  My two oldest, Kale (9) and Kate (7), told us that they wanted to join the 21 day fast and do a Daniel Fast (eating only fruits, veggies, beans and nuts).  We wanted to encourage them to do what they felt God was telling them to do but we knew that 21 days is really hard for adults.  We didn't really know what that would do to our kids.  We encouraged them to start with 2 days and see how it went, then decide if they wanted to do the whole 21.  They agreed.

Kale started Saturday and Kate started Sunday.  They were both fired up at the beginning.  Seemed like they'd do really well.  Then temptation came and it went from fun to extremely difficult.  There were a few things we did on Sunday that involved food and they just looked at it and drooled!

Finally Sunday night at a housewarming party we attended (with amazing smelling food!!) they broke down.  They didn't know what to do.  They really wanted to eat the good food and not just the veggies.  So we went into another room for a chat.  I told them that I wasn't making them fast and I reminded them that this was something they thought God was telling them to do.  I encouraged them to go speak with God and then do what He told them to do.  

A few minutes later they came back to where we were and said that God told them they could be done fasting :) and then they proceeded to eat happily.  I wasn't disappointed in their decision.  I'm proud of them for even attempting!  They are definitely at an age where they aren't used to having to tell themselves no.  They rely on us for that. Haha!  But this was a great lesson on practicing hearing and obeying what the Holy Spirit tells them to do.  Something I need practice in!

It was really interesting to watch my kids struggle with the same things I do - telling myself to obey the Holy Spirit and not my desires.  It isn't easy for anyone.  But with the help of the Holy Spirit it's possible!  And freeing!

Throwback Thursday - Unlearning in order to Learn

Originally published April 2011
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Makes sense doesn't it?

Well it's starting to make more and more sense to me. I recently read in a book that half of spiritual growth is learning things you didn't know and the other half is unlearning things you do.

So. True.

I'm now reading a book - a total kick-you-in-the-pants-splash-cold-holy-water-on-your-face-gospel-truth-speaking book called Radical by David Platt. I won't go into all that it entails because there's entirely too much and it's a book you just have to read in order to get it, but let me tell you that it's reminding me, as well as opening my eyes, to just how different God's plans are from the worlds.

I realize, once again, that God is opposite of the world. That's not to say that everything in this world is bad, but it is to say that many things I do and believe to be true, while I think they are of God, actually are not. What?! I know! Here I am thinking I know most of what I need to know about God and how to live my life for Him but in reality I know a lot about what I've learned from others but not enough about what HE wants me to know. Make sense?

Here are some differences....

God says bless your enemies. The world? Yeah not so much.
God says surrender to me. The world says, work hard and you will succeed.
God says sex is for marriage only. The world says try before you buy - it won't matter.
God says there is only one way. The world says everything works.
God says there is right and wrong. The world says do what feels right.
God says give what you have away. The world says make sure you have enough and there's always more that you "need".
God says I'm not here to make your life comfortable. The world says comfort is our right.
Gods says I have come to and for you. The world says strive and you might make it to a "higher place".

And that's just a few!

I've learned a lot in my almost 35 years. Some things are truth and some things are lies. Truth and lies about Who God is and truth and lies about how to serve Him. I've finally asked myself a very important question...do I live my life according to scripture or according to what I've seen "good" Christians do and say?

Unfortunately all too often I've made decisions based on the latter rather than the former. I've made decisions based on experiences, books, teachings (non of which are all bad) rather than God's word.

Puts a whole new meaning for me on scripture being my Bread of Life, Water to Drink, the Sword of the Spirit....Am I hungry for what He says or what I'm comfortable with?

I have a long ways to go. Lots of things to unlearn. I am so thankful, though, to my parents for the way they raised me. Because of their unconditional love there are many things I do not have to unlearn. There are true things I have always known. Things like love, acceptance, forgiveness, grace, commitment, devotion, giving, family, respect, responsibility, safety...I'm so grateful for that.

I see a new journey. A journey about discovering God. Discovering what it really means to surrender to Him, to His plans, to His love. Unlearning what I think it's supposed to look like and learning what it really looks like.

Testimony Tuesday - God's provision

 Tuesdays are my favorite.  I love seeing how God provides!!
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As I've shared in the past we have been on a journey.  The journey took another turn when I accepted a full-time position with San Juan Regional Medical Center in Farmington, where we live, and began working part-time at Mercy Regional Medical Center in Durango.  During this transition, we were going to have to pay $816 per month for two months to continue our medical coverage so that my husband would have his oxygen and medications.  Based on the billing to the insurance company, it appeared that the cost for just his oxygen was $1232 per month.  So, the $816 per month seemed like a savings.  Well, we were told last week to just come in to the office to put a credit card on file while we apply for a hardship program through their office so that my husband can get supplies.  I went by their office today and they told me that the actual self pay cost is $149 per month.  Just yesterday I was thinking that their was no way that I could pay off my tuition balance from last semester of $1129.30 plus the $1632 for the two months of insurance.  I was ready to give up on the dream of becoming a nurse and eventually a nurse practitioner.  Yet, God has a plan and He is making it painfully clear that He loves me, He knows what I need, and He will provide.  I am so thankful for all that He has done for me.  Plus, He is working it out so that I work later on Sundays so that we can keep coming to The River Church and I can continue to serve in the crawlers to 2s room, too.   

I just wanted you to know that despite how crazy things are...He is still the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow.  I know that He'll help me with the past due tuition so that I can go to school this semester.  I know that when I put in my application for nursing school this month, I'll have his stamp of approval, and I know that ultimately my life is in His hands to be used by Him and to be a light in this dark world we live in.