The Administration of Reconciliation

By Tawna Wilkinson

    

The other day, I had a hard and messy conversation with an individual regarding their dissatisfaction with the church, and what they felt was wrong with it. The truth is I was hurt and very frustrated, as this wasn’t the first time I’d been approached with the same thing.

However, after I allowed myself the shabby process of sorting out my raw emotions with God and my husband, the Lord reminded of II Corinthians 5:17-21:

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. Now all things are of God, who has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ, and has given us the ministry of reconciliation, that is, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not imputing their trespasses to them, and has committed to us the word of reconciliation. Now then, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were pleading through us: we implore you on Christ’s behalf, be reconciled to God. For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.”

I realized if things were the way He intended in the beginning, there would be no need for our administrating reconciliation. For when things are reconciled, they are back to the way they were created to be.

When Christ was here He waded through enormous dysfunction with people’s perceptions of what He needed to do to make things right – in the synagogues; with the Pharisees and crowds; with the twelve men He hand-picked to journey with Him; even with his mother and siblings. And though Scripture doesn’t give much detail about His childhood, I can’t help but think there was a lot of muddling He had to endure just being a kid and teenager.

We want things to be neat and tidy; to be okay. And more times than not, I think that means, the way I want them to be. We hate the groaning our spirits, bodies and souls experience when we perceive things are not the way they’re supposed to be. And the last thing we want to do is stick around and engage in the hard work of restoration.

 Several years ago, a wise young man said to me, “Relationships are messy, and no one wants to get involved in them.” He was right. It’s obvious. When things don’t go the way we want, our first reaction is to bail…. don’t stick around and muddle through the mess and confusing in-betweens. It hurts. It’s hard. We have no promise that we’re going to see resolution. And what’s worse, we have no control over the outcome, let alone another’s choice.

I completely understand. I’ve bailed more times than I care to admit. I’ve thrown my hands up in frustration umpteen times, “knowing” for certain things are never going to change. But if that is true, then this passage of Scripture isn’t.

So today, I am actually thankful for the individual approaching me. For although the issue was not resolved, I now see I was presented with another opportunity to use my “ambassador muscles.” God, and this person, trusted me with part of the messy process of bringing a piece of reconciliation to this beautiful, broken and messy world. And I am glad I chose to engage in it.

Contentment...What Is It?

By Tawna Wilkinson

Contentment…what is it? A thing to be grasped? Illusive, but right in front of me? A dream when awakened it vanishes? A mystery never to be understood? Something to strive for and never attain? We all desire it, yet curiously fight it, choosing not to give in.

Contentment…what is it? A state of being. An attitude of the heart and mind. Never to be grasped, but fully embraced. Illusive, yet visible. A dream to be lived completely awake. A mystery understood, but never solved. When one has attained, it cannot be measured.

Contentment…what is it? Heaven on earth – indescribable and yet, it’s like the flower that blooms, though no one sees. The tree that stands regardless of the harsh winds. The human being accepting the Divine Influence on his heart and reflecting it in his life, no matter what assaults or what blessing is sent.

Contentment…what is it?  My challenge and joy.

Flowing in Grace

By Nancy Turley

"The clearest evidence that God's grace is at work in our hearts is when we do not get into a panic."  Oswald Chambers

“Learn the unforced rhythms of grace.” Matthew 11:28-30 (The Message)

The word I felt God gave me for 2015 was “Grace.” I love that word. I love the concept. My name, Nancy, means gracious. It’s a trait I am growing into. I wondered if one of the reasons God gave me this word for this year was not only that I needed to grow into it–to be able to give it more–but also, that I might need to receive it. For my birthday my sister Carol gave me a necklace with a swan on it because it was indicative of grace. Part of the description of the swan said that they were graceful. Though that applies to the swan much more than me, I do want to be "grace-full."

Recently a friend replied to a special request for prayer from me that she would listen to the Spirit as she prayed to “simply move to the unforced rhythm of grace.” It came as a hopeful admonition to me as well, as I loved this translation of “Come until me all ye that are heavy laden and I will give you rest…” in Matthew 11. 

This was a new take for me to think of moving in the “rhythm” of grace, and more so, unforced rhythm. One never knows what is around the corner, both good and bad. I wonder how the rhythm of life connects with the unforced rhythm of grace. 

There will be many times where we need to flex, where we need to flow like a river that navigates slow curve bends—those longer stretches of life. We long for answers and movement but do not get immediate replies.

There are other situations where we feel like we are pushed into a narrowing canyon while in a fast current and are suddenly just dropped down a waterfall chute. Where then is that unforced rhythm of grace when we feel we are out of control? How can we flow with the rhythm of life, and yet be in an unforced rhythm of grace?

Perhaps it is like being thrown overboard while canoeing or rafting. We point our feet downward, life jacket snug around our chests, and are navigated around the rocks by hands of grace. Instead of being forced out of control, while we are in the current, grace gently guides us around obstacles. We are buoyed by grace as we flow with the current.

I was actually in that situation once where a friend and I capsized from our canoe as we went through Class III rapids on the Colorado River. I remember being guided by others still in their canoes to go with the current’s flow and put our feet downward. About a half mile later, we moved from the fast moving water to slower water. As we flowed with the current, knowing others watched and guided us, we felt we would be safely rescued.

Perhaps that is how we accept God's grace and allow it to work in our hearts...instead of panicking, we choose to rest during those times we feel so heavy laden. We flow in that unforced rhythm of grace.

Struggling For Perspective

By Nancy Turley

“The surrendered accept that pain is always but growing pains. And growth is always a gift—even when trials are the tutor.”   Ann Voskamp’s blog (A Holy Experience)

“What used to be a hindrance now helps you the most.” Eckhart

Outside my “Reading Room” window is a hummingbird feeder which hangs down next to a six foot high bush. I love to watch the hummers feed and rest on the steps of the feeder. That is until a Rufous appears out of its hiding place and chases them off. I see it perched in the branches of the bush or even from higher branches in our spruce tree out front, ready to pounce, selfishly declaring the feeder its own. It definitely does not play well with others. I ponder why God even created the Rufous. It is just a big bully, exercising its power, intimidating others from what is also fairly theirs.

I’ve had Rufouses in my life in the form of humans, even as an adult. But more and more, it feels like the real bully is the enemy who would steal my peace by the thoughts and lies he instills in my mind. At times I do feel like I have gone two steps forward and one back in my struggles to gain victory over this. Lately, the teasing thoughts that again assail me are of fear as I wonder about the future. My body is “talking” to me more ways than one, as is my husband Steve’s. It’s easy to project into the future with fearful outlook.

I’m near the end of the book, Into the Silent Land by Martin Laird. One chapter specifically focused on how to bring our minds to a place of silence instead of allowing the harassing thoughts to take over while praying. The author talked about the struggle to keep focused as we are taunted with the current circumstantial struggles in our lives. Interestingly as I read, my visual focus was drawn to the actual printed words with the root word of “struggle” on just one page. Without reading word by word and counting, I could make out eleven times it was mentioned! (I realized later it was because the two lower case letter “g’s” hung below the line and caused my eyes to be drawn to it as they are more darkened places on the page.)

During this counting process though, I had a mini Aha! moment when I realized I was literally doing the very thing the author was pointing out. I was focusing on the “struggle” and thus only saw the words with struggle on the page. All of the other print and wisdom on that page were diminished.

When we focus on the struggle and not the bigger picture, we narrow our perspective and can’t see what God is doing.

I know that despite our real-life struggles, God can and will use them for good, despite the “Rufous bully” thoughts of the enemy. In fact, I think because of these bully attacks, we can be strengthened in our “inner woman” to combat the new onslaughts. The fear that once overwhelmed me four years ago led me to a place of courage into a “new land” which has given me much joy.  Those hindrances are like the two sided coin that can morph our weakness into strength.

Much of our individual journeys are indeed from growing pains, but that pain is a gift—it can allow us to see from a different perspective, a bigger perspective, that of the One who can see all. 

What hinders your perspective? How have you dealt with "Rufouses" in your life? How can we see our struggles and pain as gifts?

You Are the One Jesus Loves

By Tiffany Bleger

I used to really dislike the Apostle John. 

There. I said it. 

I feel like lightning may come down at any moment. 

But I truly didn't. I struggled with his personality and character in the bible. I couldn't even stand to read the book of John more than the once a year prescribed by my reading plan. And, according to some Christians I know, that admission alone is cause to question my salvation. But I honestly didn't. 

However, like most lessons I've learned along this Christ-following journey, the reasons had far more to do with me than they did with poor John. 

When I became a Christian and began studying the Scriptures, I viewed the world through the lens of self-hatred. I saw absolutely nothing worthy of love in myself. And so, this "beloved disciple" and the "one Jesus loved" seemed arrogant and pretentious when viewed through my tainted lenses. What made him so special? Why did he get to be the one Jesus loved? Did that mean Jesus loved the other disciples less?

John's claims of love confirmed my performance-driven, self-loathing, flawed view of God. In my mind, there was a sliding scale of His love. People like John and King David (check out his deathbed confession in 2 Samuel 23:1) were at the top. Those were the people God truly loved. Those were the people God enjoyed. 

In the middle were most everybody else - the people who seemed to have it all together at church. The people who smiled and prayed and hugged and didn't seem to be faking it. 

Further down were the people who struggled with addictions and sins, but were truly repentant and trying to make an honest go of it. 

Even further were those who didn't love God, who hadn't accepted Him or who had flat-out rejected Him. 

Finally, at the very bottom, was me. I was loved only because the verse says, "For God so loved the world..." If He didn't love me, He would have been a liar. But, beyond that, I could see no reason why He would choose to love me.

But, ever so slowly, God began to change my lenses. He began to show me how He loves me, not because He had to, but because He wants to. He began to remove the self-loathing, the performance-driven fear. For the first time, I began to understand that love. And I began to see John through a new light. 

"The disciple Jesus loved" wasn't arrogant or pretentious, he was filled with a holy confidence. He had looked into the eyes of Jesus and received the love that was never forced. He intimately knew the sacrifice and love that had been poured out for him on Calvary. 

He knew what his identity, his "title" had cost him. 

John chose to describe himself as beloved because that title was precious. It was costly. It was worth honor. 

Do you see where I'm going with this, dear sister? Do you see that this is you? Perhaps you are like I was, drowning in the sea of self-hatred. Are you jealous of those who seem safe on the boat? Do you see the lifeline, the love, being offered to you? And are you willing to let go of those stones, those lies, so that you can hold on to love with everything you have?

You are the one Jesus loves. You are the beloved disciple. You can walk in the same holy confidence as John and David, secure in the knowledge that you are intimately loved and treasured by the Creator of the Universe. But that is not a title anyone else can give you. That is the title you choose for yourself.  

Can you believe this for yourself? What has kept you from knowing how much you are loved?

3 Reasons to Keep the Sabbath

By Jill Palmer

For some reason the modern Christian culture is a wee bit terrified of the word Sabbath. Or maybe we aren't terrified of it, maybe we just don't understand it. Either way we don't see the practice of a Biblical sabbath as a necessary part of our Christian walk. I want to challenge that way of thinking.

The word "rest" is a word the Holy Spirit has been echoing in my head over and over for several years now. My physical body, my soul and my spirit have been crying out for rest but my mind just couldn't figure out what that looked like much less how to do it. Like a funnel that starts out wide, so was this idea of rest. And as a funnel narrows, so did this idea, narrowing into the practice of sabbath.

Like many of us, I thought I was already sabbathing. I spend several hours at church on Sundays, not just because I'm the pastor's wife but because I truly enjoy worshiping with my church family. Isn't that what sabbath is? What I discovered through study was far different than my understanding! God wasn't saying to pause and go to church. He said to stop and delight in me. This is a holy day - a day set apart. A day that looks different than every other day of your week.

For me this meant no work (no returning emails or non-emergency communication), no household chores (bills, dishes, laundry etc..), no media (TV, computer, iPads and cell phones). Add in family activities, not to be busy but to be together (includes, but isn't limited to, hiking, biking, playing games, painting etc...), reading time (Bible and other books I want to catch up on), napping (love this one!), slowing down everything! It's a delight to discover what I love to do and what my family loves to do!

And the benefits?! Oh my goodness! God totally knew what He was doing when He included the sabbath in the 10 Commandments.

1) It's about our identity. The Israelites had been slaves for 400 years! Since the time of Joseph they had lived and worked in Egypt. Working for Pharaoh 24/7. Hard, hard labor! Exhausted they cried out to God for a deliverer. God heard their cries and raised up for them a leader - Moses. Moses led his people out of Egypt and miraculously across dry land through the Red Sea. Once there, God gave His people the commandments and established a new nation. Part of their teaching was "self-care" and identity.

This one commandment - the 4th commandment - immediately elevated the Israelites. No longer were they slaves having to work tirelessly every single day. God said to rest. Take one full day off a week. Trust in Him for provision. They are far more valuable than the work they do. They have value and worth because of Who He is. We have value and worth because of Who He is. We are loved, not because of what we do but because of who we are.

No longer are we slaves to this world (money, work, sports etc...). We have love, value and worth because of our Creator. Stopping for a full 24 hours reminds us of our new identity in Christ.

2) It's about loving ourselves. We aren't very good at taking care of ourselves. Truly we don't know our own limitations. Thankfully we know a God Who does. He knows what we are capable of and what we can't possibly do. He knows that we don't fully understand our new identity so we work and work and work trying to prove to ourselves and to others something that He already knows.

Why do we insist on working and serving beyond the point of burnout? In wanting to feel needed and important, we miss the signals that say we are reaching capacity. Instead we try to cram more in. More activities, longer hours. More. And then we reach burnout. Not the destination we were aiming for but because we've missed the signs that say turn before you fall off this cliff, we find ourselves in that exact spot. Mad at people. Mad at the church. Mad at God.

We must listen to, and love ourselves before we reach this point. By intentionally making sabbath a priority we are slowing down to listen to God and ourselves. Are we reaching burnout? If so, we can hear it and act accordingly before we go over the edge.

3) It's about engaging in now. Our lives are inundated with information, media, work...distractions. There is so much noise in the world around us we often miss the now that is happening...well...now! We miss the beauty of a sunset, the smell of flowers, the sound of our loved ones laughing, the feel of gentle sunshine on our faces, the sweet whisper of the Holy Spirit in our hearts, the thrill of doing something we actually love. We miss the now because of the worry of the future or the regret of the past. We spend so much time going from task to task and being concerned about what's happening everywhere else but here. Our senses are on overload!

Sabbath allows us to stop and engage in the now. We don't have to be concerned with a to-do list or what's next list. We can shut out the noise and listen to the things that are quieter and oftentimes sweeter. We can hear what's really inside of ourselves and inside of our loved ones. We can hear the sweet voice of Jesus reminding us who we are, His love for us, He plans for us, the battles He wins for us. It anchors us and brings us back to now.

The sabbath is an invitation from the Lord to enter into His rest. It's not a duty or a responsibility. It's a delight! And I believe it's life-changing. 

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. 

Psalm 23:1-3a

A beautiful reminder from my Shepherd.

Seeds: Mystifying Mini Marvels

By Tawna Wilkinson                                                                                                
                                                                                                                       

                                                                                                                                                        

Did you know that seeds, those tiny, motionless, boring-looking things are in reality mystifying, mini marvels packed with life? Laboratory scientists have studied, dissected and microscopically peered into the seed coat of different kinds of seeds all over the globe and continue to be baffled by the activity they find; like the breathing, eating and drinking seeds do. 

That’s right, scientists have found that seeds - no matter what size, shape, or texture - breathe by absorbing oxygen from the atmosphere. They drink by soaking up moisture in the air and eat by using the moisture to turn stored up chemicals they have in their cells to food. And while they are waiting to sprout, they know exactly how much of it to do.

What’s more, each of these crunchy wonders, though it hasn’t sprouted, is an entire plant. It’s just in its embryonic or beginning form. Scrunched up inside the hull of a seed is a very small plant with all its teeny tiny plant parts. The leaves of the seed are called cotyledons. These are the first two leaves you see when the plant sprouts. The cotyledons are wrapped around and attached to a small stem, a tiny leaf bud, and a root tip.

Throughout the fall season and freezing winter, the tiny plant stays in its protective seed coat with its cotyledons wrapped around itself like a cozy blanket. It breathes, drinks, and eats while patiently waiting for spring.  When spring does arrive, the rain and sun, water and warm the ground. 

Then, when conditions are just right, the root tip breaks through the seed’s hull and grows downward, while the cotyledons stretch for the sun. The lifeless-looking wonder sprouts into a seedling. The summer season matures the seedling into an adult plant. It blossoms and bears fruit with hundreds, sometimes thousands, more seeds full of the same packed life it had.

So the next time you see a seed, one of those tiny, motionless, boring-looking things, remember, though your eyes cannot see it, there is surprising activity going on inside that mystifying, mini marvel that still has scientists scratching their heads.

By Faith, Not By Sight

By Jill Palmer

There was a time that my daughter, Kate, and I were at one of the several therapists we have seen over the years for her sensory issues. This therapist was fabulous and we learned a lot from her. The fact that she was a believer was even more of blessing because she helped us to see how God had created our bodies and how He was at work healing them.

One of the things she shared with me has had such a profound impact on what I understand about my life with Christ. She was working one day on Kate’s hearing and her sight and explaining how they work together to interpret the world around her. She then said that if she ever had to lose either her sight or her hearing and she had a choice, she’d rather lose her sight.

It startled me at first to think about that. I admit that I’ve pondered that question before but I’d always picked my sight as something I’d wanted to keep. Mainly because the thought of going around in the dark scared me and made me feel less in control. Why would I want to lose it?

She went on to explain that our eyes can only see what we’re looking at. You don’t really see what’s in your peripheral until something draws your attention that way. You can’t see what’s behind you either. Only what is directly in front of you. Your eyes alone don’t tell you the whole story. It’s very limited.

 

Our ears, on the other hand, can tell you where you are in a room. It’s truly amazing. For example, without looking (I can’t close my eyes because I’m typing but I can tell you what I hear and where it is) I can say that my washing machine is running just off to the right of me and slightly behind me. It’s fairly quiet to my left. My dog is snoring at my feet. My keyboard is clicking right in front of me. My home phone just rang but I can tell it’s in the other room. I hear my kids every once in a while laughing from downstairs. With all of those sounds I can tell exactly where I am in my house – at my computer. 

If I could block out all sound and rely only on what I can see in this moment, my world would consist of a computer screen and nothing else. My sight is very limited.

The same is true in the spirit world. If we only rely on what we can “see” then we are left with a very limited view. We need to close our eyes for a moment and “hear” what is around us, what is true, what God is speaking. And when we do this we will be able to “see” where we are and know that we are in the midst of His hands.

The Bible says to walk by faith and not by sight. Physically and spiritually, walking without sight is difficult. It can be scary. It takes getting used to. But it can be done.

Oftentimes we become so overly focused on what we see that we forget to listen to what is around us. Instead we need to close our eyes and listen intently. I believe when we do this we can hear God more clearly. We can pay attention to His still, small voice and marvel at the exact place He has us. 

Have you felt like God wasn’t speaking? Are you overwhelmed by what you see in front of you? Take heart. Close your eyes and hear the Lord’s whisper. Close your eyes to what you physically see – not out of ignorance but out of trust. He is there reaching His hand out to not only guide you, but to comfort and shelter you as well.

Testimony Tuesday - Prayer Changed My Marriage

We had already been married for a year and a half when I finally came to terms with the fact that my husband was an alcoholic. In the beginning he hid it well. When I finally realized why he had such extreme mood swings and could never explain where cash went it was devastating. Later I found out he was drinking at least two pints a day and constantly, literally non-stop, lying to me. Even with in-your-face evidence he would blatantly deny with anger, pity or silence.  To say I had no hope was an extreme understatement.

In the early parts divorce was my favorite word. I came to the conclusion that me controlling him was the only way to fix this. Basically I was under the illusion that I could even control my husband. Big, big, BIG laugh.  

Looking back it literally makes me nauseous at how dark and depressing it was living with this person I didn’t know and in my mind didn’t agree to marry. Anyone that personally knows an alcoholic will understand, they are literally in every way a 100% completely different person. 

God has a way of waiting until you are ready to let go and give it up to him so that he can work and heal. In January of 2014 I got to the point of desperation.  Psalms 107 was my very close and personal friend - “Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress.”  

I was ready to let go of my delusional control and allow God to work in our marriage. I now refused to say the d-word… divorce. Only God knows our heart (1 Kings 8:39) and I wasn’t about to give the enemy that power. 

This was just about the time of the church fast and I “happened” to come across Mark 9:14-29 about the boy with the unclean spirit that could only be cast out by prayer and fasting. I knew my husband had evil spirits around him that did not want to let go. It was pretty scary at first until I realized the power of the Holy Spirit and the authority I have being a daughter of the most high, but that’s a whole different story. Needless to say, I wholeheartedly participated in the fast. 

That month was simultaneously the loneliest and most amazingly comforting month of my life. My husband was gone. I told him that I had tried my best to help but that his actions were detrimental to our family and I wouldn’t allow him to scar our children and myself that way. He left.  

At first I was freaking out, how can I take care of this house and these kids with no income, no time, no help? But immediately I felt at peace about my decision. This was a huge comfort from the Holy Spirit because to me in the beginning, and to most people, it seemed as if I was tearing my life apart and hurting my husband. This is where the endurance and perseverance came in. Almost everybody in my life disagreed with me. They thought I was hurting him, they thought I should feel guilty and ashamed of what I was doing. They thought that love means never saying no. As I explained my decision to one of his close family members about me always saving him from the consequences of his drinking and that he would never fully see the consequences of what he was doing until I let him, they curtly replied “But he doesn’t learn from his consequences”.  

A book that I thoroughly enjoyed during this time was called Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud. It talks A LOT about addiction and destructive relationships and that the best relationships have good boundaries. Boundaries where you can say no, and yes and respect yourself and others enough to say when enough is enough- I won’t allow you to hurt me anymore. 

He was gone for a month - a month of not knowing where I would find money for the mortgage, the bills, food and also not knowing what he was doing (besides random phone calls late at night). I dove into the arms of God. I HAD NO OTHER CHOICE, I was desperate. I needed this to change. I knew God had plans to sustain and build up our marriage and I fought for it daily. I fasted, I prayed, I read my bible, I cried out. I was so angry and God took it all. He was my rock so much so that I once told my husband “I desperately want your love I truly do, but I don’t need it, I need my God and his love to sustain me.”

The very day the church fast ended he returned to Durango, sober. He’s been sober for 14 months (a year longer than he’s ever been sober in 10 years)!!!   

There are two very big lessons learned and the first is this: You can’t control anyone but yourself, and even in that you need to solely rely on God. I’m an action person - if I see a need I do something, and praying never seemed like I was doing something about it-SO WRONG. If you want to help someone the very first thing should be prayer, there is no stronger power we have as children of the Most High.   

The second lesson was very harsh for me and that is that just because his sin was more apparent than mine doesn’t mean I don’t have sin. God knew that I needed time too, to dig and scrape inside myself and recognize that I was not part of the solution. It was never my fault that he was an alcoholic but I sure as heck wasn’t helping.

Be a Tree

By Tawna Wilkinson 

 

One morning, late in spring, during a very dark period in my life, I was blankly staring at an apple tree just outside my dining room window. The morning sun had just peeked over the mountain and was glistening on, and rustling, the leaves. 

But I wasn’t focused on the tree, or the beauty of the morning, as much as I was fixed on a raw, painful thought: What does a person have to do in order for transformation of the heart to actually take place?

A couple of months prior, I had been on staff as the children’s pastor at the church I was attending. I loved the children and the ministry, and was zealous and passionate; working many long hours in order to bring about the vision God had given me. In fact, that was the story of my life, in and out of church, as long as I could remember. 

My family of origin’s motto was work hard and do a hundred percent at all times, carrying with it the connotation that hard work brought about one’s value. The denomination I grew up in taught that if Jesus had really transformed your heart you would do, do, and do for Him, because that’s what loving Jesus looked like. 

And I did love Jesus. I had come to Him at a young age, and wanted very much to please Him.  So, my modus operandii was full throttle, no matter what, especially when the kingdom of God was involved.

But deep below the surface of my hardworking zeal was a yawning, cavernous void I kept trying to fill with all the activity. I was desperately trying to muster a sense of worth. I had no idea I already had value…intrinsic value, simply because God loved me and created me; that my worth had never been contingent upon any activity; and that transformation of my heart was a simple, yet extravagant transaction: God sending His love to me, and me receiving it. 

So, I stayed with what I knew until I burned out and drove the ministry in the ground.

Needless to say, the next months were spent in a counselor’s office unearthing all kinds of ugly, pain, confusion and disillusionment, while wrestling with the belief that I did have value, and learning how to love myself enough to receive the love He was sending right where I was at.

So that morning, pensive with the question and vacantly staring at the apple tree, God spoke out of the quietness: “What does a tree have to ‘do’ in order that photosynthesis takes place?”

“What?”

“What does a tree have to ‘do’ in order that photosynthesis takes place?”

Refocusing my gaze on the sun rustling the tree’s leaves, I intelligently replied:

“Uh…receive light?”

“Exactly.”

Boom.  I knew I had heard.  My mind and spirit were racing with the information welling up in me.

Photosynthesis:  “The process by which chlorophyll-containing cells in green plants convert incident light to chemical energy and synthesize organic compounds from inorganic compounds, especially carbohydrates from carbon dioxide and water with the simultaneous release of oxygen.”  (The American Heritage Dictionary)

Bam.  Photosynthesis: The miraculous process that transforms the light the apple tree’s leaves receive into food energy, instigating internal assimilation, and vitality throughout its system, and then, as a mere consequence, releases oxygen into the atmosphere.

In other words, life happens inside the apple before life emerges from it.  And the only thing it has to “do” for that to take place, is receive light through the chlorophyll-containing cells in its leaves.

He spoke, again.

“Simply be a tree, Tawna.”

In that instant, I realized my value was innate, simply because Love loved and created me. And that all the activity I would I ever need to “do” in order that genuine transformation of my heart take place was simply receive Light through my “chlorophyll-containing leaves”… my love-designed, heart, mind and soul.  Then He would miraculously do the “doing” in me…as well as outside of me.

So, my encouragement to you?  Be a tree.

Talents, Time & Treasure

By Esther Belin

Dear Readers,
I am honored to be a guest blogger.  I have been praying that God would direct me because I tend to complicate simple tasks.  I retreat.  I ponder.  I meditate.  All these things are wonderful to produce great writing, but my problem was that I never got around to the actual writing.  I often say that I am writing in my head – which is true – however the problem with that type of writing is it is only for me (and I rarely remember the masterpieces composed in my head).  I never used to think there was anything wrong with that until I realized God gave me the love and gift of writing to fulfill part of His will.  So here I am, a guest blogger – writing with the sole purpose of giving God the glory.  This commitment was renewed during a study on the parable of the talents (Matthew 25:14-30 NLT).

This parable is amazingly simple yet mysteriously complex which is probably the reason Jesus taught using parables.  Out of his compassion, he used examples humanity could grasp.  I laugh as I write that last sentence because I feel like I have only recently grasped the meaning!  I was familiar with the lessons of being a good steward of God’s money and possessions, but I never really thought about being a good steward of my spiritual gifts and time.  If I believe God created each person with their own unique giftings and He created time, then of course both gifts and time should be used to bring Him glory.  We limit ourselves when we hide our talents (pun intended).  But more importantly, we limit the building of God’s kingdom.

Understanding the context to stories, parables or people has deepened my Bible studies.  Because the Bible provides only minimal information about the servants and the Master, it can be easy to disassociate from the parable.  Yet because the Bible is truth, we can assume that the servants would have similar emotions/motives/responses we would.  Because the Master entrusted select servants (rather than business partners, family members or friends) with his money reveals fascinating qualities.  Did the Master not have any trustworthy business partners, family members or friends?  Or was the Master just a cool boss who was giving his employees a career opportunity?  If your boss handed over part of her/his personal fortune (a talent is like a million dollars) while s/he went on a long vacation, what would you do? 

Ultimately, what you do with the money depends on how well you know the Master.  I believe that the Master wanted to bless her/his employees and that is the reason why s/he entrusted the money accordingly – and in that sense, it was a test.  I also believe that each employee knew the Master to be kind and generous.  Two of them were challenged by this opportunity, and they accepted it because they knew their Master was kind and generous.  Did they know how to make more money?  Did they know anything about investment? Perhaps, but maybe not.  It seems the first servant had some knowledge about investment, but the second servant “went to work.”  

Our culture in the U.S. is all about the opposite of work.  As a culture, we are aware of the work ethic that founded this country, yet that ethic is very much buried by an entitlement ethic – that we deserve to be happy and wealthy with the freedom to do what we want.  In short, I had to finally position myself to go to work for God.  In order to get to that place I grieved over my past choices to work for my own ideas of happiness, wealth and freedom.  Then, I spent some time in His word trying to figure out what the will of God is for my life.  After much retreating, pondering and meditating, God whispered that I am in His will. Now I am just eager to go to work. 

The process was not easy because I had been so worried (which was a diversion from the enemy) that I was missing out; I almost lost hope until I realized the enemy was creating chatter in my head.   The chatter created confusion, doubt and fear, and would have destroyed my desire to write because I couldn’t hear God’s voice.

Psalm 25:14 states: “The friendship of the Lord is for those who fear him, and he makes known to them his covenant” (ESV).  

The KJV replaces “friendship” with “secret.” Of course God whispers when he is telling secrets! What he was telling me was only for me to know.  He was whispering my part in fulfilling his will – based on my abilities! 

I have asked God many times to reveal to me things in my life – and He has, however I haven’t always been ready to hear it.  Maybe he revealed this same information to me years ago and my heart simply was not positioned to receive it.  I am thankful He is a faithful and consistent God who patiently waited for me.  My prayer is for each of you to reaffirm your belief in a Master who wants to bless you – to create opportunities to hear His whispers.