Undulation

By Tawna Wilkinson

The other day, while reading a chapter of The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis, I came across a term called: the “Law of Undulation.”

The context was that human beings have an undulating relationship with everything and everyone, including their relationship with God. And by not realizing this “law,” when we are in a “trough,” as Lewis expresses it, it can lead a person into depression, or complacency.

I was intrigued, because I was in the middle of a “trough,” and had been there for a discouraging month. So, wanting to be clearer regarding undulation’s meaning, I looked it up.

• Undulate: “To move in waves or with a smooth wavelike motion. To increase and decrease in volume or pitch.” (New American Heritage Dictionary)

After that, I was reminded of a phrase from the Message translation the Lord used to encourage me during another “trough” a few years back:

• “Learn the unforced rhythms of grace.” (Matthew 11:29)

A stirring appreciation enveloped me as I received a new understanding that life truly is a series of undulating experiences; wavelike motions moving me back and forth, and up and down relationally, for the purpose of teaching me the unforced rhythms of His grace.

Then, I flashed on the first week of creation. How God demonstrated the “Law of Undulation” quite nicely. Those first seven days were nothing but sweet wavelike motions emanating from Him while He spoke night and day, earth and sky, evening and morning. He established the law of ebb and flow. And He created me in His image.

What’s more, when sin did enter the picture, He didn’t change His mind. Ecclesiastics 3:1-8 makes this clear:

• “To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance…."

And when Jesus arrived on the scene, He continued modeling the same unforced rhythms smack dab in the middle of the brokenness, assuring me I can do the same.

Yes, sin did mess with conditions, as well as my perception of this “Law of Undulation.” However, my being aware that this was God’s design, it is His way of being, and it still is His will that I reflect the same, will better equip me to move more freely while learning the unforced rhythms of grace. And it will help me guard against being lead into the smothering heavy of depression, or complacency during my “trough” times.

Beautiful!

Start-Up Repair

 By Nancy Turley 

It is because of the Lord’s lovingkindnesses that we are not consumed,
Because His [tender] compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
Great and beyond measure is Your faithfulness.
                                                                                                              Lamentations 3:23

Our dogs jumped up on our bed, acting as our usual alarm clock to wake us.  It took me a moment to compute what day it was…a working day or a weekend.  I relished the time on weekends, not so much to sleep in but to have more time in my “reading room” to read in the morning, pray, and do some writing.  That morning I wanted to get busy on my laptop to write some ideas down before I forgot them.  I pressed the power button and could hear the power noise on my laptop gearing up. Then, in just a few seconds...BLIP!  The power light flashed off and the monitor went dark as if a fuse had blown.

I groaned as thoughts flashed back to the last time this happened when I had to take it into the computer shop to get it fixed. It took four days before I could pick it up.  I use my laptop almost every day, so I was frustrated and disappointed that it had once again lost power.  I wondered if I had not charged the laptop last time before I set it to hibernate and it had run out of juice.

I retrieved the electric cord from my laptop bag, plugged it into laptop and the power outlet and again pressed the power button. I tried a new approach this time and held it down until past the time the laptop started booting up. The monitor screen came on with the message alerting me that there had been an interruption in my last session and then a screen came up titled “Start-Up Repair.”

I sighed in relief but wondered if this repair would really work as I had no idea what caused it to blip out in the first place. The battery said it was still at 43%, so it was not what I had originally thought. I followed the Window application questions.  It felt like it was an analogy to hard booting my own morning. And the thought did not escape me that this was what we need at times for other situations in our own lives.

The question first from my laptop was: 

“Do you want to restore your computer using Start-up Repair to an earlier time when the computer worked correctly?”

I’m thinking, “Well, duh. Of course I want it to work correctly. Would someone actually say NO to that?”

Then further informative words came forth from my anthropomorphic laptop: “The repair will not change personal data, but it might remove some programs that were recently installed."

I’m pondering again: “Hmmm…I don’t think I have purposefully loaded a new program on here, so where did that come from?”

”You cannot undo this restoration,” says my laptop.

My unverbalized retort to my Dr. Spock-like laptop was, “Okay.  If my goal is to get you working again and it won’t change my personal data previously stored on my laptop, this is good. And yet, if it were me, not the laptop, I may want you to change some past personal data as well as correct that malware I installed.”

I went ahead and pressed the button to proceed with this repair. My laptop’s reply: “Your computer might restart several times during this process and might take several minutes.”

In the end, instead of several minutes, it took thirty, but my laptop did restart and it only took one time.  It rebooted fine and was back to normal. Still, the analogy was blatant enough not to ignore possible implications. I still don’t know what caused it to blip out in the first place.  But I remembered that my first thought went to a bad case scenario. “I’m going to have to take my laptop away to get this fixed and it’s going to take four days.”

Then my thoughts moved to, “Hmm. Well, I just met a man who goes to my church who could fix it and probably quicker than the other guys. This may not be so bad and it would give me an opportunity to get to know him and his wife better.” I breathed up a quick prayer and let go of my negative energy about it.

Then it went to, “Let’s try one more thing before I give up.  Let’s plug it into the power with the electric cord and see if it might connect better that way.”

Once again, my short-lived real-life situation of my laptop start-up repair felt like it revealed several analogous lessons:

1)      The story we tell ourselves instead of getting the facts may skew the outcome.

2)      Reframing the circumstances and import of the “event” may yet bring hope and lead to resolution.

3)      Plugging into power (from God or empowerment from friends) can affect a repair or solution that will work. (Note to self:  it may take longer than originally thought, but it will work.)

4)     God still keeps the essence of who we are (He doesn't want to change that) but does wasn't to repair the thoughts and our character that cause us to "blip out!"

5)     The restoring salvation God gives is for keeps…it can’t be undone.

6)     And yet, if we need start-up repair again for whatever reason, He’ll take us back to the point it occurred and restore us anew then too. His mercies and compassion happen every day.

Gaining Understanding

By Nancy Turley
 

"You don't know what you don't know when you're young.” (and sometimes old - added by N. Turley)  (The original quote is from Lots Of Candles, Plenty Of Cake, Advice to My Younger Self by Anna Quindlen)

"A wise (wo)man will hear and increase with learning. And a (wo)man of understanding will acquire wise counsel.”

"For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding; he stores up sound wisdom for the upright.”

 “Keep sound wisdom and discretion. So they will be life to your soul.”

                            
“All her paths are peace. She is tree of life to those who take hold of her and happy are all who hold her fast.”  

                            Proverbs.1:5, 2:6-7a, 3:21b-22a; and 3:17 , 18a (NASV)

”If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.  But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt…”  

                             James 1:5. 6a (NIV)

Recently I attended a Lunch and Learn seminar sponsored by our safety department at work. The title was “Cause Mapping.” The hook for the seminar was, “Do you know the reason the Titanic sank?” Most of us immediately went to the main cause—that the ocean cruiser ran into an iceberg—as well as a few other explanations, but what surprised all of us was, in the end, 123 reasons were found to be causes or the “whys?” that so many lives were lost when this ship sank.

The discussion was fascinating as we further learned that had just one or two of these causes been fixed or paid heed to in the earlier time line of what led to the Titanic’s demise, the ship may not have sunk and so many lives been lost. Had the bulkhead been sealed correctly, had the SS Californian responded earlier, had the rudders been fashioned to turn more quickly, had there not been such arrogance of the designer and captain that this ship was “unsinkable”—many, or all, of those 1523 lives would not have perished.

Lately I’ve been pondering about other “sinking causes”—people or things that seem to be sinking or situations where the ship is heading towards an iceberg about to tear a big hole in lives or already has. 

To what degree does the universal and Biblical adage of “what you sow, you will reap” create a pathway that cannot be reversed? To what degree do earlier choices pave that more problematic life pathway that then makes it so hard to make a turn-about? Is there a statute of limitations on how soon we have to turn around before it’s too late to alter present life circumstances, to realize the potential God created us for? 
 

The law of cause and effect can’t be easily overruled just because we are sorry later on. I want to understand my own, and others, “cause mapping.”  I want to understand the root causes of behaviors, the whys of our journeys. But much more than that, I want to see hope despite the small and big ships that have sunk in our lives. In the midst of negative circumstances caused by wrong, ignorant or even innocent choices we made along the way. I want to see grace override that and see how God is weaving it for good.  I want wisdom for us to navigate in the midst of our present journeys. I want to see a redemptive ending despite difficult current pathways. 

I do think years of life can add wisdom, but even in our more “mature” age we still are figuring out that “we don’t know what we don’t know.” And some 20 and 30 year olds have much more wisdom at their age than I ever had at that age (or may ever have).  How did they get that? How do any of us obtain wisdom and where does that start? How, does one gain understanding that provides a reason to keep going and hopefully, have some kind of happier ending? 
  

In the case of the Titanic, for those that survived, it was because they had access to the lifeboats and were fortunate to be able to climb aboard, or others held onto a buoyant part of the blown apart boat, or perhaps had the stamina to tread water longer than others and they lived long enough to be pulled in when thrown a lifesaver. 

For those of us who are drowning or feel like we are sinking, there is another lifesaving tool, that story twist that can still give us a “happy ending.” It’s when we ask for wisdom from God who says He’ll generously give it to us. But before that can happen, it seems we first have to see our part in our demise (or our need for something beyond ourselves), and admit that God is the author of the wisdom we need. It’s a cross-roads place of faith that truly trusts God has our backs, where we truly expect an answer. And to be able to walk in that happier ending we need to accept and act on the wisdom given. 

Regardless of the causes, it’s when we swim towards the lifesaver God throws out to us or climb aboard the lifeboat, that we receive grace and start the journey towards gaining understanding. 

I love that wisdom brings life to our souls and that its paths are peace. I love that wisdom is like a tree of life and thus promises a fruitful future—that acting on what we know we need to do (or not do), will put us on a forward path again. That, despite the cause, or how deeply sunk we may feel, there is a lifeboat to bring us back to firm land.

And for those of us praying for others whose rudders are not turning fast enough to avoid looming icebergs: perhaps our prayer should be that they are led to a point to cry out for rescue and ask for wisdom. Because then...they (and we) have the opportunity by learning and acquiring wise counsel, to get to the place of practicing more of what we then know we know.

And, the further good news is that "God gives grace to those who are afflicted." (Proverbs 3:34 -NASB). He does not have a statute of limitations if we call on Him to help us.  He can turn around and redeem the difficult circumstances of our lives and work them all together for good. 

THE MYSTERY OF FAITH: PERIPHERAL VISION

And here you are, 

Teasing in the corner of my eye,
Offering peripheral visions,
Knowing
That what can’t be borne
in sunlight
May still be known
in shadow.
 “Sometimes we can come to know a thing only by averting our gaze, by not shocking it with the full force of our looking…”

“…God longs to be courted, to dwell in a mystery that keeps us aching to touch the skin beneath the shadow.”

Quotes and the partial poem above are from the book In Wisdom’s Path, by Jan L. Richardson, Wanton Gospeller Press, © 2000,                  Website link: http://www.janrichardson.com/about.html
 
“Immortal, invisible, God only wise, In light inaccessible hid from our eyes…”
       (Lyrics from the hymn, “Immortal, Invisible,” Welsh melody, Walter Chalmers Smith (1824-1908)

Thoughts and ponderings of paradox mill much in my mind these days.  One of the most intriguing to me is how those who celebrate the mystery of faith (The crux: “Christ has died, Christ is risen, Christ will come again”), embrace a truth that is an intangible tangible.  We can’t touch or physically hold this faith, but we see its rays of light radiating strongly in darkness from those who believe in the mystery of God. Faith in this mystery that is our Creator, Redeemer and Friend, sustains those in grief and loss, gives hope to those who can’t see beyond the next bend in life as they wait for guidance or healing, lends meaning and significance to unanswered questions, and cradles in love those who desire and know the depth of God’s love for them.

Right before Thanksgiving my husband Steve and I attended the celebration of life service for Paul, the husband my dear friend Deb, who I've known for over 35 years. Their daughter, age 20, and son, age 16, and Deb knew that their father and husband walked in the mystery of this deep faith. He died way too soon of brain cancer at age 58. Trying to dissect this or look at it head on, the “why?” questions can’t be answered or given justice that makes any sense. But the “edge of faith” allows us to see from a different angle or point of view—perhaps seeing with “peripheral vision” into the truth that the Holy Spirit reveals. As Jan Richardson’s poem says, “That what can’t be borne in sunlight may still be known in shadow.”  I think this shadow is the vision of faith, akin perhaps to “seeing in the dark” or "looking outside the box." Though the mystery of who God is, remains "in light inaccessible hid from our eyes," vision through faith can illuminate more clearly.

Both Steve and I each have one eye that has lost clarity of central vision. Steve, due to a huge floater right in the center of his eye, and myself, as I wait the repair of a macular hole surgery. We both however, have better peripheral vision.  I resonate with Jan Richardson’s poem and prose above. She is the third person in just three months to proffer that we can see the stars better by looking through our peripheral vision (out of the corner of our eye) than straight at them.

The conundrums of life that bring questions which can’t be answered or fathomed by looking at them straight on or with scientific lenses, may be given light by looking at it from the "periphery" of faith vision. Of the hundreds of people who gathered for Paul’s service and celebrated the mystery of his faith, I doubt that any of us clearly yet understood why he was taken at this time from his family and friends. But we share in whom he believed and we “court our God” with thanksgiving as we know he will reveal enough light in the shadows to allow us to see enough. We ache and yearn to touch God, the skin of Him in person. We rest for now on promises of hope in the unseen, with the mystery we call faith.

Is One Small Letter Enough?

By Tawna Wilkinson

The other day as I was reading in Ephesians, the thought struck me that this small letter was the only written information the burgeoning church in Ephesus had. One little scroll of truth was to be passed among the believers directing their journey in their new life with Christ. It wasn’t that I had never been told this, but the “ah-hah” caused me to stop and ponder.

One small letter, containing small prayers, tiny phrases and praises of truth, written by an imprisoned individual, guided by a still small Voice. And with that scant information individuals and families, as well as the church itself, flourished and grew. In fact, one source credits the Ephesians church with playing “a significant role in the spread of early Christianity.”

But to complicate, during that time, the city of Ephesus was one of the largest cities in the world; a huge metropolitan civilization in western Asia Minor teeming with multiple religions, politics and commerce. And to better appreciate the power in all “the small”, Ephesus was also the site of one of the Seven Wonders of the World: the Artemision – the worship temple of the Greek goddess Artemis.

Interesting. One small Holy Spirit inspired scroll, written from a prison cell, sent to a remnant of new believers enveloped in an imposing pagan metropolis. And by allowing a snippet of truth to permeate them, this tiny band of believers greatly assisted in the increase of the gospel Jesus Christ.

I wonder what would happen if a remnant of believers in a not-so-big-mountain-town in southwestern Colorado allowed the same small letter, with the same small prayers, tiny phrases and praises of truth to infiltrate their lives. Would that be enough for the eternal Holy Spirit to affect great change in and through them?

And Yet, I Ponder This

 © Nancy Turley  

'Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day.”   II Corinthians 4:6

“I would have despaired unless I had believed I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." Psalm 27:13
       


My heart is rent for those who grieve for a lost spouse, for lost health, for a lost dream.
It aches for those who grasp for healing and find no present cure,
Who hunger for relief in spirit or body while the earth still spins,
Who mourn what cannot be recovered.

And yet, I ponder this:
       Those that have lost know more clearly what really matters.
       Those who cry deeply for their loved ones still celebrate their joy in heaven.
       Those in pain yet hold on to the hope of their calling by the heavenly Artist.

I question why some awaken to deep pain in the night,
How shadows steal rest or joy until they see morning light,
How life is taken unfairly by tongs of the unknown or evil.

And yet, I ponder this: 
     Those who know the Artist know He uses dark and light colors to accentuate truth,
     That melded colors of shadow and light blend together for good,
     That there is still hope for the future and meaning in the present.

I consider how the body ages despite the care one might take.
I ruminate on the “what ifs” of having had more time for a more balanced life.
I contemplate how life is bound to the clock marching forward. 

And yet, I ponder this:     
    That the heart and spirit can be renewed while bones lose density and skin wrinkles.
    That time is both chronos and kairos,
    That we can be lost in moments of joy when time does not beat nor the body decay.

I reflect on unanswered questions, unfilled potential and hearts longing to soar, I contemplate how some still hope while others despair.
I ponder the mystery of faith, those who glimpse that which can’t be seen,
Of those who still seek melody in the midst of a dissonant world.

  And I rejoice as I ponder this:     
      That we can rise as eagles when we rest in the brush strokes of the Artist,
      That there is truth in paradox: we grow in the dark and in dying we live.
      And that those who sing to the celestial Artist harmonize to an eternal beat.

Are You Invoiced?

By Tawna Wilkinson

Putt-sing around my house a few months ago, I was wrestling with a dogging question: Should I or should I not help an individual with a genuine need, which in this case happens to be close to me? When I heard: “Bear one another’s burdens…” And…“for each one shall bear his own load.” (Galatians 6.2, 5)
 

A familiar frustration rose in my spirit, for in times past I had grappled, without resolution, with these exact phrases and specific words.

“Lord,” I said. “In one breath You command us to bear another’s burden, and in the next You seem to contradict commanding the exact opposite. I don’t know what to do or how to be.”

“I know,” He replied. “Look into it.”

So I dropped what I was involved with, went to my Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance, and looked up the words and phrases I felt Him emphasize.

To my chagrin, in both instances, the definition of bear was exactly what I thought: “to remove, lift, endure, sustain, receive, etc.” However, I was surprised to find where its meaning was derived….from the base of the Greek word basis which means “to walk; a pace (‘base’) i.e. (by implication) the foot.”

Immediately a picture came of two people walking side by side, one was carrying a large burden while the other, walking in pace, was helping alleviate some of its weight, but was not taking the burden from them.

Intrigued, I dove into the definition of load, and was even more startled at its meaning: “an invoice (as part of freight) i.e. (fig.) a task or service.”

“Wow, Lord…an invoice?”

“Yes, an invoice. I assign to each an invoice; a task; a service to join with Me. If I have not invoiced you to walk side by side with another, yet you choose to, you are in fact sabotaging their relational footing with Me. And, by carrying all, or some, of another’s burden I did not invoice harms our walk as well. Be watchful, child. Do not disrupt your, or another’s, relationship with Me by carrying what has not been invoiced you.”

Sweet release washed over me shedding light on my present situation, as well as evaporating that unresolved and dogging question. For I had many times, out of guilt, shame, or condemnation, whether self-inflicted or imposed by others, helped carry, or carried all of another’s burden never invoiced me. And the results were damaging to the cadence of each relationship.

So, when another’s need arises, I am now inclined to stop and ask, “Have you invoiced me to come along side, Holy Spirit? Or is this theirs to join with You, alone? 

Learning to Forgive - PART 2

By Megan Danquah

Last month, I began this mini-series (HERE) on forgiveness by sharing some of the truths that I discovered about forgiveness, taken from my personal forgiveness journey. Today, I would like to share the practical steps that you can take to see freedom from wounds small and big alike become a reality in your own life.

1.  First of all, you must know what it is that hurt you. In other words, you must define the pain you are experiencing. Without definition, it is a cancer that is spreading throughout your body, slowly killing your soul and spirit, and eventually your body as well! Keeping a journal is helpful in this process. You can start by writing a detailed account of the event that caused the pain. What happened? Who said what? Where were you, what were you wearing, what were you feeling? How old were you at the time? Afterward, you can use a series of statements to help you further mine out the consequences of the injury you experienced. Help yourself to fill in statements about what you believed before the injury occurred and what it has caused you to believe now.

2. Once you have thoroughly defined the pain you have experienced, you must own it as your own. You must make sure that you are able to separate out the pain that you experienced versus the pain others may have experienced because of the same event. You do not want to be taking on other’s pain in this process. Own only what is yours. After you have done that, it is imperative that you, in essence, be able to look at that pain you have defined, and say to it “I see you, I understand you, and I accept you.” You need to accept that the pain you experienced is yours to own and the fact that it will shape the person you are to become.

3. Next is the part where you put the blame where it belongs. I had tendencies of taking blame upon myself for many wounds I experienced in my life. It was a coping mechanism in which helped me to avoid the anger and grief that I experienced as a result of injurious circumstances. One of the most empowering things that I ever did was fully feel the anger and sadness and despair that were my right to feel after the injury I experienced. It kept the depression at bay because I wasn’t blaming myself. It helped me understand that the clinical definition of depression—anger turned inward—was true! Misplaced anger, or misplaced blame, incapacitates us and disempowers us, causing depression and fog in our lives.

4. Then it was time for me to decide to forgive. And you know what? I could, much easier. It was no longer a “mind-over-matter” situation for me because I had given vent to my feelings of anger, sadness, and despair, for as long as I needed to do so. And I had done that in the correct direction, putting the blame where it belonged, which was outside of myself and on the person it belonged to.

Finally, FREEDOM!  Let’s say it again: F*R*E*E*D*O*M!!!!  

You CAN achieve forgiveness. You CAN see a strength emerge in yourself that you never saw before. You CAN live in freedom and wholeness. You CAN heal! My hope is that this post has taken some of the mystery out of the very intentional process that we call forgiveness and my encouragement is that, no matter were you are in your life, that you take your first steps into that freedom. It really is there, and it really is possible! 

Can you see yourself walking through these steps and finding freedom and wholeness? Do you believe it is possible? If not, what is holding you back?

**On a last note, a huge resource that I used in my process which goes into much more detail than I did here was a book called Forgiving the Unforgivable by Beverly Flanigan. The forgiveness steps I used here were adapted from her book.