Throwback Thursday - Perfection

(Originally published in 2011)

Perfection.  Is that a realistic notion?   Can we really expect perfection from anyone?  Anything?  Does God expect perfection from us?

I've been pondering perfection.  I have come across people in my life who expect perfection from me, my husband and/or my children and it's heartbreaking because it's impossible for us to ever live up to those expectations.   It isn't loving, grace-filled or truthful.

It makes me think of my relationship with Jesus.   How does He see me?  What does He expect from me?   Perfection?  Hardly!  Perfection means no grace and Jesus personifies grace and truth.  Perfection and grace can not go hand in hand when describing anyone else except Jesus.  You can not expect perfection from yourself or from others and still give grace.  It just doesn't make sense.

Jesus knew from the very beginning that we would fail.  He knew it and yet he still died for us and still loves us today.  Amazing!  We can't really even to begin to understand that love.  He pours that out for us daily.  Daily we fail to be perfect and daily He loves us with grace and truth.  He's not disappointed or mad or frustrated or impatient.  He's just loving.

I've come across people who have gotten angry with me or my children in an instant.  They've been upset because a harsh word was spoken or because we weren't grateful or because we were wrapped up in ourselves. We've been in the wrong, no doubt, but then that was it.  We had one chance and we blew it. There was frustration or anger or impatience or disappointment and we were done.  No chance (it seemed) to be forgiven and start over.  No chance to learn how to be better.  No chance.

How often have I done the same thing to others?  I've been on the receiving end of the expectation of perfection and it's a yucky feeling.  A feeling of never being good enough.  Never.  And I hate it.  It's made me open my eyes more and more to my own treatment and expectations of others.  Do I expect perfection?  Am I filled with grace in truth in my relationships or do I write people off when they fail me?  Do I understand that people will fail but it is grace and truth that lifts them up to try again, not a broken relationship?  Do I give grace and truth to those who have expected perfection from me?  Ouch. That's a hard one.

And to just make it harder...do I expect [impossible] perfection from myself?  Do I treat myself like Jesus does?  With compassion and grace and value?  Grace + Truth over time = change.  How can I change if I don't give myself grace and truth?

Perfection expects the right thing all the time.
Grace {and truth - can't have one without the other!} understands that the right thing won't be said all the time and says please don't talk to me that way...let's try again.

Perfection expects the correct behavior all the time.
Grace and truth understands that we are all sinful humans struggling to learn and grow and says that really wasn't a good choice...here's a better idea.

Perfection expects that people will never fail {and boy will they be disappointed!}.
Grace and truth understands that we've all fallen short and that it is very, very possible, when we get knocked down, to get up again, brush ourselves off and keep going!

I don't know where you are at today but I have been uber challenged to adjust my expectations.  Not lower them but adjust them.  I want to be the kind of spouse/parent/friend/sister where it's safe to fail with me.  I want to be a safe place for people to be....people!  I don't want people to walk on pins and needles around me...afraid that if they fail I will write them off.  Jesus never wrote anyone off.  Even those who failed Him as He was being crucified.  His love, grace and truth were poured out even in those moments.   How I wish to be that kind of friend!

And how thankful I am that even as I'm walking this road of grace and truth that God knows that I will fail...a lot.  I pray that I will have grace for my own life as I learn how to love others as He loves me.

*on a random side note: I googled an image for perfect/perfection and Google gave me images of celebrities, houses, landscapes, coffee etc.  I guess perfect is in the eye of the beholder eh?*