Would we know if it was there?

I was presented with this question in a Bible study I am doing: Do you have any committed bitterness or unforgiveness in your life?

I thought and thought (I like to give real responses) and my answer was no.  At this time I do not.  Yes, I have had it in the past, but I am confident in God's forgiveness and healing in that area.  But then I added, if there's more it hasn't been brought to my attention. 

Thus started a line of thinking about would we know if it was there. 

Stay with me for a sec. 

In my experience, my own and others, there are situations, emotions and responses that we've experienced our whole lives.  They have become a part of who we are.  We honestly don't know anything apart from them.  If you've ever said I've always felt this way or this is just who I am, then this pertains to you.  Just because it's always been this way or we've always felt this way doesn't make it not worth visiting and letting The Lord heal. 

If your dad left your family years and years ago you may have unforgiveness.  It just may not feel like unforgiveness because it's always been there and because you may not be visibly angry anymore.  It may now just feel like apathy.  'Whatever. My dad was a jerk.  He left my mom to raise us alone.  Hope he's happy living his own life.'

Sounds nice enough, but is there true forgiveness in there or is the unforgiveness so hidden we aren't sure that's what it is? 

The enemy is a deceiver and a liar.  The Bible also says that we deceive ourselves.  We have ourselves convinced that we're fine so that when we're asked if there's unforgiveness in our hearts we look for one or two signs of it, don't see it and deceive ourselves into thinking we're just fine.  Yet were still in bondage! 

Don't go second guessing every little thing you think or hear. That's not my point.  Believe me.  I've done that!  It's miserable too!  I'm just saying when you get asked a question like I did, don't automatically dismiss it and say I'm fine.  Say to The Lord 'Is it me?' and then let Him answer.  He will reveal the truth if you let Him. 

We need to be self aware.  Not self absorbed, but able to see ourselves clearly. That's humility.  Seeing ourselves from a real perspective - good and bad.  God doesn't want us to dwell in either place.  We just need to know the good we are capable of as well as the bad.  We can praise Him for one and receive forgiveness and healing for the other. 

Where are you at today?  Do you have any committed bitterness or unforgiveness in your life?