Throwback Thursday - It's a Fight!

(originally published in 2010)

I'm not sure who all reads this blog. I'm not sure what season you are in life. So I'm not sure that this blog will make sense to you. But I hope you will be able to identify with at least something I write today.

I've been somewhat blah lately. Nothing bad happening but nothing really great happening either. I recently went to an all-day workshop about master-planning your life. It was a great time with lots of great information but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't completely overwhelmed. I mean they asked me questions like "What do you love to do?" "What could you do for hours and not even know it was hours?" That may seem easy for some of you to answer but I really didn't know.

I also had to self-evaluate. I realized it's much easier for me to evaluate others than it is to evaluate myself. Especially in the few moments we had each time. I tend to waaaay over-think things. Shocking I know :)

I did learn some stuff about myself but really it just brought up more questions!

So I've been thinking. Thinking about my life now and my life in the future. Thinking about what is my God-given, God-directed and God-breathed purpose? It's very easy to get lost in outside labels along the road of life. It's easy [for me of course] to become Mark's wife and Kale, Kate and Jack's mom. And while I love those roles and believe this is where I'm supposed to be I can't help but wonder if there's more for me to be doing?

I've slowly been coming to the conclusion that while the answer is yes it is also wait. I think that God has more plans for me. He certainly isn't done with me yet. But at this moment I'm preparing for them. How is he preparing me? Seems like diapers, cooking meals, doing laundry and cleaning house won't prepare me for much but I also see things like patience, grace, wisdom, clarity and reliance on Him coming out of my day to day experiences.

So what does this have to do with fighting? I'll tell you. {By the way, I don't battle all of these everyday. But I have battled all of these at least once if not more than once.}

Everyday is a fight to stay in the game.

I fight to stay involved and not check out.

I fight to stay focused and not distracted.

I fight the lies that say I'm not a good enough mom or wife.

I fight the lies that say I'm fat, lazy and not creative.

I fight to get up in the mornings and not sleep in.

I fight the urge to fight my husband over dumb things.

I fight sarcasm that creeps in when I've told my children the same thing for the hundredth time.

I fight to make it through everyday with a positive and thankful attitude.

I fight the urge to just quit and throw in the towel.

I fight the overwhelming feeling that I'm not really making a difference.

I fight the helplessness I feel when it doesn't seem like my children are "getting it".

I fight the urge to crawl into a closet and hide from everything.

I fight the urge to let my emotions rule me.

I fight to let God's voice be the loudest one I hear everyday.

I fight for God's truth to guide and direct my steps.

I fight for God's word to be in my heart.

I fight for God's voice, truth and word to be in my children's hearts and minds.

I fight everyday. And I will continue to fight.

Some days I win. Some days I lose. I think we are fooling ourselves if we don't realize that we have to fight for what is important. There are days when I feel too tired to fight. Days where I feel so beat up from the fighting. I think to myself - I just fought this battle yesterday! Can't I get a break? But then I think, it's important to keep fighting. To persevere. To go after God's plan and purpose for me and to not just sit back and let life take over me.

So I pray....God help me to fight the good fight, to win the race, to persevere.

And He says...I will fight alongside you.

"...the Lord your God fights for you, just as He promised." Joshua 24:11b

Amen.