Testimony Tuesday - Take the Plunge!

---I would like to set aside Tuesdays as the day we testify to God's work in our lives.  I say we because I have asked women at the River Church to share what God is doing in their lives and families.  These are their stories!  "They defeated him [the accuser] through the blood of the Lamb and the bold word of their witness." Revelations 12:11 (MSG)---

This is the last week of testimonies from our retreat.  There were many more!  God did wonderful things!

--------------------

In being scared to take the plunge I sought peace and strength and direction. This is what God said to me, "unloose your heart, le me take you and fill you.  Let me release my gifts in your soul.  I will give you the strength to face the storm."

------------------

Last night, I sought Him and found Him.  I gave Him all my rocks.  I put myself upon the altar as a sacrifice.  I washed myself with my tears.  As I cried, I heard the wind rustle through the trees as if in praise that I had finally let it all go. Just me and Him.  My heart felt free.  Most of all, I felt love beyond measure.  He is ever faithful!  Weeping may endure for a night, but joy (change) cometh in the morning.

-----------------

When Tawna stood up and shared what God was speaking to her, for us, I needed to hear her words/what God was speaking.  It was as though her words were directed at me.  Instead of wanting /looking at where others are, God has me right where He wants and needs me.  What does He have for me in this season?  I want something that hasn't happened yet and I'm having a hard time understanding those it has happened to.  But I can't personally say it's going to happen but I can say I can ask Him what He wants me to see and learn in the season I'm in as I wait for the season I want.

-----------------

This weekend I came looking for answers from God, from other people, just from anyone or anything.  Each session I felt speak to me in some way but after each one I still didn't feel free, I was still searching for my answer.  Keep your eyes on Jesus through the storm.  He will never leave or forsake you.  These were all things that I realized I needed to keep telling myself.  But when Paige spoke about Leah, getting to a point where she dropped all of the rocks she had been carrying and just praised the Lord for Who He is she had finally felt peace.  With that revelation I felt God telling me "That's you, you need to be like Leah and drop all of those rocks you've been holding on to and just praise me."  This was my answer, my answer was the Lord.  Drop the rock of distrust, the rock of control, the rock of judgement and fear and of doubt.  My husband and I have been dealing with infertility for the past two years and have gone to doctors and specialists, taken medicine and done procedure and then last night I felt the Lord telling me that He had it under control and that if I can only just drop all of those rocks and let go and let Him in, that He will take care of it all. 

----------------------

It's easier to not

I was getting ready to head to a prayer meeting for an upcoming event last week and was thinking about how tired I was feeling at the time and how it would be easier to just not go. I knew I didn't have a choice - I needed to go - but the thought crossed my mind.

On the way there, a woman I was riding with was telling me how she's been battling a terrible migraine all afternoon and she almost didn't come but in the end she felt like she really needed to be there. It would've been easier to not come. 

How often do we give in to the temptation to not...just because it's easier? 

I'll tell you a few things that I've found would be easier to not...

It would be easier to not get up early and spend time with The Lord in His Word. 

It would be easier to not get up and punish my child when I hear or see them doing something specifically needing punishment. 

It would be easier to not plan meals, go grocery shopping and make homemade dinners. 

It would be easier to not keep my mouth shut when I want to argue to with my husband and tell him I'm right. 

It would be easier to not stop and pray when I hear about a need. 

It would be easier to not keep up on laundry and house cleaning throughout an already busy week. 

It would be easier to not confront people and work out problems. 

It would be easier to not be uncomfortable. 

But in the end....if I always did the easy thing, I would end up with a chaotic world and miss out on important relationships. Including one with my Savior. 

Throwback Thursday - Maybe

(originally published in 2010)

My goal is God Himself, not joy, nor peace, nor even blessing,
but more of Himself, my God.

Maybe instead of asking God for more patience and kindness and wisdom and humility and the ability to love other people like He does I should be asking Him for more of Him.

Maybe He'd like more than anything to give me patience and kindness and wisdom and humility and the ability to love other people like He does but there's no room for any of that because of...well...me.

Maybe I have too much "me" - the selfish me. Maybe I would have more patience and kindness and wisdom and humility and the ability to love other people like He does if I would deny myself and empty myself of...well...myself. And then ask Him to fill me up again with...well...Him.

Because maybe, just maybe, it's Him who is patient and kind and wise and humble and the ultimate lover of everyone....not me.

Maybe I should stop trying to imitate Christ under my own power and instead let His power, the Holy Spirit, work through me as I deny my selfishness...then I might have all patience, kindness, wisdom, humility and love that I could ever possibly imagine.

Maybe.

Testimony Tuesday - Take the Plunge!

---I would like to set aside Tuesdays as the day we testify to God's work in our lives.  I say we because I have asked women at the River Church to share what God is doing in their lives and families.  These are their stories!  "They defeated him [the accuser] through the blood of the Lamb and the bold word of their witness." Revelations 12:11 (MSG)---

For the next few weeks I will be sharing a few testimonies from our women's retreat.  These are awesome!

----------------------

God has challenged me to step out, but not just me, my whole family to take the plunge of obedience in the things He has called us to do.  It is time to take the plunge in every area of my life.

--------------------

This is very basic, but I found one thing profound "There is more and Jesus is the key".  It has been truly eye opening for me being on this trip.  One thing resonated with me.  Jesus said nothing about Peter's sin.  Huge!  For a while I had focused so much on my short comings and failures.  Being judgmental, fearful etc... That it had almost made me feel unworthy of God's affections.  But I realized I've been so deceived.  God knows just how sinful we are and nothing can separate us from His love!  So much revelation came from something so simple.  It was beautiful.  I knew, but I forgot just how swift God's love and redemption truly is.  "Jesus had nothing to say about his sin because his sin didn't matter"

--------------------

This weekend has been such a blessing!!  I realized that Jesus doesn't need anything from me.  All He wants is me.  If I am going to take the plunge 1st I need to trust that He wants the best for me, 2nd Have faith and tell Him what I need, 3rd don't take my eyes off Jesus.  He will provide the ability, abundance, meaning and might that I need, at the right time for His plan to be fulfilled.  Alos, I need to get off my "jean sitter" and move.  Praise you Lord!! I love you and You love me! Amen!

-------------------

This weekend I needed to be vulnerable.  I needed to see God in the relationships I had with other women.  I wanted to hear about other battles and storms my sisters were walking in.  God have me a group of courageous warriors who were authentic to me about their circumstances.  Holy Spirit was present in our small group discussions.  He revealed Himself to me in the voices of my sisters who were honest about their wounds and their hurt.  He healed us, He met us here and He built our faith and praise.

--------------------

My idea of perfect is not the same as God's idea of perfect in my life. I don't know what I want. I am allowed to try new things and "fail".  My dreams are not a waste of time.  It's okay to change my mind. It's okay to be me because I'm not broken. But there's hope that I can be better.

To Fear or not to Fear

“Only Thing We Have to Fear Is Fear Itself”: FDR’s First Inaugural Address

Interesting thought from one of our presidents. In a way this is true. 

I heard recently that we are only born with 2 fears: the fear of falling (picture startled baby when suddenly moved) and the fear of loud noises (same baby with sudden yelling or sirens). All other fears are learned. Read that again. 

All other fears are learned. 

Whoa! You mean the fear of spiders, fear of heights, fear of small spaces, fear of the dark, fear of man, fear of failure, fear of being alone are all learned?  Yes. Our circumstances, experiences and environment have all taught us things. Including fear. 

Recently at our women's retreat we discussed what fear is...or isn't. Have you ever read the story about the student who told his professor that there's no such things as cold? Cold is only the absence of heat. You can make things hotter but there's a limit on how cold things can get.  Dark is the absence of light.  Evil is the absence of good. I think fear is the absence of faith/trust.

Why do we fear? Because we have the illusion that we're in control. And then when something happens (or we think will happen) we realize we aren't in control and fear sets in. 

What if we took God at his Word?  It says:

Do not fear for I am with you 

Perfect love casts out fear

Whom shall I fear? 

We can have assurance that God is in control. God is leading. He has a plan. His plan and His perspective is greater than mine. 

Instead of praying Lord, take away my fear, how about we pray Lord, increase my faith. 

Throwback Thursday - Help

(originally published in 2010)

Pretty much everyday I can guarantee that one of my children will ask me for help. Help in getting dressed, getting food, learning to read, getting a toy out etc...They are able and willing to ask for help. They know they can't do it all by themselves.

Why can't adults do the same thing? Why is it so much harder for us to ask for help?

I was reading the New Testament with Kale when I came across something that struck me. It was the story of the ten lepers that Jesus healed. Usually it's been told as a story about being thankful but today I read something different (Go God!).

It said "From a distance they called loudly, 'Jesus, Master, have mercy on us!' Never did Jesus pass by and refuse to help one who called." { I bolded the part that struck me - not literally struck me of course} This story is in Luke.

When Jesus healed the blind, the sick, the dumb, the lame, the dead it was because they came to Him to ask for help. It took humbling themselves and asking for God to do the miraculous.

I've heard people say it's not "who they are" or "how they were made" to ask for help. I realize it isn't an easy thing to do. I definitely have not perfected the art of asking by any means. BUT I do recognize that we won't always receive help until we ask for it. God has shown that to Mark and I. It's easy (for us at this point - not for everyone but that's a different post) to ask God for help. And I think that's because we expect Him to help us. And we should. He does, He will and He loves to. But I also know that He uses His people to answer those prayers and to help. And how will His people always know how or when to help unless we ask.

Sure we can hint but isn't that kind of annoying? Let's just come out and say it. I need help. I believe there are times when God will lay it on someone's heart to do something for someone in secret and I love it! when that happens. God absolutely can do it. But I think He also wants us to be humble and ask those that He's put into our lives to help us.

If we need someone to help us care for our children then we can ask. If we need help tearing apart our bathroom, or putting it back together for that matter, then we can ask. If we need advice about something we can ask. If we need help in our ministry we can ask. If we need help moving we can ask. If we have a financial struggle we can ask.

Yes, people can say no but they can never say yes unless we ask.

Humbling? Yes. Easy to do? No. Will it stretch us? Yes. Will it increase our faith? Yes. Will it be the end of the world if we ask? No. Will it give others opportunity to give and to help? Absolutely and most likely they'll love to do it. Just give them the chance.

I will still be on the lookout for people I can help. This isn't to say we should only do something when we're asked. That's not what I mean. But I believe there is a work that God is wanting to do in me/us when we ask Him and when we ask others for help.

Testimony Tuesday

---I would like to set aside Tuesdays as the day we testify to God's work in our lives.  I say we because I have asked women at the River Church to share what God is doing in their lives and families.  These are their stories!  "They defeated him [the accuser] through the blood of the Lamb and the bold word of their witness." Revelations 12:11 (MSG)---

I am interrupting the testimonies from the retreat to share this one that a beautiful, transparent sister shared with me this weekend.  God loves to meet us where we're at!
  
So this month had been a pretty tough month in terms of my faith. I had come off the women's retreat so confident I had flung things that were holding me back away from me. I spent day after day praising God. Not wanting to pick up the things that kept me from being free. 

As each day passed my thoughts at night would turn to worry. Circumstances seemed insurmountable, fears started to plague me that I never had before. Negative thoughts about my kids, my health, my husband, my family, guilt, broken relationships all started coming into my mind. I'd press into scripture and joy came every morning. But as each day pressed on into the evening I became more vulnerable to the lies. Many times I asked my husband to pray for me. When he did, my peace came back. 

My husband and I had been tithing regularly even though mathematically our budget was telling us we would be going in the red. We cut corners everywhere in order to make it an easier month. Right before the October women's breakfast Our bank account had a zero balance. I barely had any gas and we were out of food in our fridge. I borrowed money from a family member to help pay our last bill but that day I was penny less. 

I prayed on the way to the breakfast but it was more like a tantrum. I tattled on my frustration about money, asking God why when we were being obedient he wasn't showing up. I confessed unbelief to him. I confessed that I didn't trust men and maybe I didn't even trust Him because I thought men weren't there for me for most of my life. I let Him have it. I didn't even cry during my tantrum. I was just mad at him. 

Then I sat through Jill's talk about the difference between knowledge and belief. Everything she said was exactly what I knew. My knowledge was blocking me from believing the most important things God wanted to show me. I was wondering how I was going to feed my family, how I'd get to church on Sunday, how I'd get through. 

Payday wasn't until Tuesday (3 days later). I was in my car looking for change to pay for gas, digging through my purse just to make sure I'd make it home all the while apologizing to God for my unbelief. Telling Him I believed he could help me but I needed an encounter, an experience a touch from him. As I asked him what I should do He whispered... Look at your bank account. I thought He was having me do it because I need to be more diligent, I thought He was having me do it to prepare and steward my money for next week. 

I logged into my bank account from my phone... My check had deposited. The date of the deposit was Tuesday, but it was showing in my bank on Saturday. I had plenty of money. I believe God brought me through this struggle because I desired encounter, presence, experience with him. I confessed my unbelief and I was honest with him about my circumstances. In hindsight I acted like such a brat. I asked for forgiveness and praised him all the way home. I tithed on my paycheck, bought gas and groceries and the blessing I felt that day was immense. 

I appreciated the gas in the car and the food I was able to get on sale at the grocery store. My lunch tasted better. He is so patient with me. I'm excited for my next adventure with Him. The one where I get out of the boat in the middle of the storm and truly believe He has me. He is God. I am not. How thankful I am for His grace, mercy and love.