Listening

By Megan Danquah

Listening.

We are taught from an early age that listening is important, and it is! Listening to our parents, listening to our siblings, listening to our teachers.  Listening to our pastors, bosses, coworkers, friends. Listening to God. I have a question for us, ladies. When was the last time that we were encouraged to listen to ourselves? When, woman of God, was the last time you were encouraged to stop, focus on yourself, get quiet, and listen to what is going on inside of you right this minute? This day? This week? This month? This season of your life? 

We have loud voices surrounding us all the time, demanding our ear. Most of them are good voices and require our care and time. We are busy women who are many times pulled in a hundred directions at once.

But have you stopped, anytime recently, to listen to that little girl inside, full of hopes and dreams for the future, untainted by the pressures and expectations of life? Have you lent an ear to that teenage girl within who is cautious yet risky, fearful and insecure yet beginning to discover the beauty that lies within herself? When was the last time you engaged that woman inside, tending to her children, husband, job, paying bills, putting food on the table, cleaning the house, doing the daily grind over and over again? Isn’t she important to listen to? Isn’t she the one that God entrusted all those beautiful responsibilities with because she is valuable and worthy and because her voice is powerful? 

I recently had a life-changing experience with listening to myself. In 2011 my oldest turned five and we decided to put her in public school, even though I wanted to try out homeschooling. I had just given birth to our third daughter over the summer and because of this I was exhausted.

After Kindergarten and 1st grade, we decided that I would give homeschooling a shot. We got through second grade and then we took a job in another state, moved here to Colorado and, without a second thought, I began homeschooling again in the fall with my (now) third grader and my middle daughter in Kindergarten. Without fail, every Sunday night, I would have a meltdown, whether internally or externally about how much I was dreading the coming week, trying to make my kids enjoy what we were doing at school even though I wasn’t enjoying it myself.

At Christmas-time, I was in the bathroom one day, having yet another meltdown, and, as the tears began coming, this time I asked myself what they were saying to me. What was happening inside of me that was causing this negative reaction to homeschooling?

I listened. Do you know what I heard?  I heard the cries of a woman who needed some space and time, who was overwhelmed and burnt out. A woman who was desperately in need of space to pursue some things that she was passionate about, things that would give her life again. And, this time, instead of allowing her voice to be drowned out, I gave her room and embraced all that she was communicating. I took her seriously.

After a few weeks of processing with my husband and some trusted friends, I made the decision to enroll my girls in public school again. It’s been a little over a month ago that we made this life change, and, girlfriends, I couldn’t be happier! The peace and vision that returned to my life is incredible. I know that I made the right decision for me! For my family! My girls are happy and thriving—growing and enjoying their time at school. Our home life has improved and I am happy again. All because I gave a listening ear to myself and my soul. I embraced me and what was happening inside, even though there were some fears attached, and it has made all the difference.

So, friend, I want to encourage you today to put the kettle on, pour yourself a hot cup of tea or coffee, and sit down for some one-on-one time with……you!  You’ll be the better for it. I promise.