I'm sharing this testimony because I am experiencing Jesus in a new way through fasting and praying as well as worship and praise. I've been attending TRC for the past 9 years and in that time have had a variety of experiences with Jesus in a variety of ways. He's been very real and shown me things in my relationships, in my service, in my worship and whenever I seek his face. My desire in my heart is for Jesus to transform me and for me to be a vessel of his love and compassion in a hurting world.
What I am realizing is that I cannot be a vessel if I have not been healed of some of the hurt and yuck I have carried around with me most of my adult life. Some of the things of my past, my sin and my life have kept me from an intimate relationship with him. But he is SO faithful because as I seek his face in all of it, he begins to reveal more and more to me about how I can bring these things to light.
So recently I have been "juice" fasting and praying. If you would have told me a while back that I'd be someone who loves to "not eat" and "deny my flesh" to seek the Lord I would have laughed very hard. Eating is my thing, I love food. I love talking about food, smelling food, researching recipes, eating things with my kids and recently I've been on a vegan recipe hunt. (just because I love fruits and vegetables and how they make me feel) I'm fasting and praying for some big things in my personal life and in the riverKIDS ministry. What happens when I fast is that I deny my flesh and my spirit soars… it's the only way I can describe it. I read the bible and words are beaming… I listen to worship and I am rocked… I talk to people about their circumstances and all I can see is the spiritual side of things and how God sees their difficulties. The fast I am on now has been the most difficult of any fast I have done. I have to leave the room when I feed my family. Food smells so incredibly good… I have to keep my bible close by so I can fill my spirit instead of my flesh. It's awesome and painfully uncomfortable at the same time. God's voice is so close to me when I fast… I just love it.
So last Sunday during worship, I was praying and asking God for more of him and just reveling in His goodness. He showed me a picture of myself worshiping at TRC back when it was New Life and I was visiting my family when Grace was only about 6 weeks old. We had come to visit the church when it was called New Life and pastor Gary was still here. I wasn't close to the Lord at that time, but I knew he was drawing me in. When Grace was born God became so real to me, it was the beginning of my heart being softened enough to hear him. As the worship music filled the sanctuary my heart softened even more, tears started flowing as I held my new baby in this church as the healing words of scripture fell upon both of us. I wept and did not know why I was weeping. During Worship Holy Spirit began bringing this memory back to me and said, do you remember when I softened your heart 9 years ago… I responded… yes… I remember…
Then immediately Holy Spirit brought me the vision of a potters wheel and a clay pot sitting on it. I immediately felt a rush of love wash over me. The Lord said to me, I am doing a new thing in you… I am molding you, because I love you. I am not molding you because I need you to be different. I am molding you because I love you too much and I have SO much for you. More than you could ever dream. Allow me to mold you. The clay does not fight the potter's hands. All the clay has to do is sit there, trusting the artist and my love will mold you into the woman I have created you to be.
What I am realizing is that I cannot be a vessel if I have not been healed of some of the hurt and yuck I have carried around with me most of my adult life. Some of the things of my past, my sin and my life have kept me from an intimate relationship with him. But he is SO faithful because as I seek his face in all of it, he begins to reveal more and more to me about how I can bring these things to light.
So recently I have been "juice" fasting and praying. If you would have told me a while back that I'd be someone who loves to "not eat" and "deny my flesh" to seek the Lord I would have laughed very hard. Eating is my thing, I love food. I love talking about food, smelling food, researching recipes, eating things with my kids and recently I've been on a vegan recipe hunt. (just because I love fruits and vegetables and how they make me feel) I'm fasting and praying for some big things in my personal life and in the riverKIDS ministry. What happens when I fast is that I deny my flesh and my spirit soars… it's the only way I can describe it. I read the bible and words are beaming… I listen to worship and I am rocked… I talk to people about their circumstances and all I can see is the spiritual side of things and how God sees their difficulties. The fast I am on now has been the most difficult of any fast I have done. I have to leave the room when I feed my family. Food smells so incredibly good… I have to keep my bible close by so I can fill my spirit instead of my flesh. It's awesome and painfully uncomfortable at the same time. God's voice is so close to me when I fast… I just love it.
So last Sunday during worship, I was praying and asking God for more of him and just reveling in His goodness. He showed me a picture of myself worshiping at TRC back when it was New Life and I was visiting my family when Grace was only about 6 weeks old. We had come to visit the church when it was called New Life and pastor Gary was still here. I wasn't close to the Lord at that time, but I knew he was drawing me in. When Grace was born God became so real to me, it was the beginning of my heart being softened enough to hear him. As the worship music filled the sanctuary my heart softened even more, tears started flowing as I held my new baby in this church as the healing words of scripture fell upon both of us. I wept and did not know why I was weeping. During Worship Holy Spirit began bringing this memory back to me and said, do you remember when I softened your heart 9 years ago… I responded… yes… I remember…
Then immediately Holy Spirit brought me the vision of a potters wheel and a clay pot sitting on it. I immediately felt a rush of love wash over me. The Lord said to me, I am doing a new thing in you… I am molding you, because I love you. I am not molding you because I need you to be different. I am molding you because I love you too much and I have SO much for you. More than you could ever dream. Allow me to mold you. The clay does not fight the potter's hands. All the clay has to do is sit there, trusting the artist and my love will mold you into the woman I have created you to be.
The voice… crystal clear… the vision very powerful and the message healed my heart. I guess I am writing this testimony to let people know it's important that we allow the Lord to show us things during worship. If you saw me last Sunday I could not stop crying… I was poised to hear him from fasting, I was letting my heart feel and receive all he had for me and I was responding and communicating back to him as I praised him in each song. God is moving ladies… just like Mark said - he desires a deep intimate relationship with all of us. Don't back down. Show up. Let him soften your hearts and mold you into the beautiful woman he has created you to be. Even though all of these things have been uncomfortable… I know they will bring Him Glory… what motivation!
Jen Kline
Posts
Great work, Jen. Thanks for sharing your tender heart
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