I Prayed

By Tawna Wilkinson                               

I prayed.

Heaven opened.

He descended.

I heard Him speak.

He filled and led Me.

Then I returned in His power. Amen.

Love,

Jesus

Gaining Understanding

By Nancy Turley
 

"You don't know what you don't know when you're young.” (and sometimes old - added by N. Turley)  (The original quote is from Lots Of Candles, Plenty Of Cake, Advice to My Younger Self by Anna Quindlen)

"A wise (wo)man will hear and increase with learning. And a (wo)man of understanding will acquire wise counsel.”

"For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding; he stores up sound wisdom for the upright.”

 “Keep sound wisdom and discretion. So they will be life to your soul.”

                            
“All her paths are peace. She is tree of life to those who take hold of her and happy are all who hold her fast.”  

                            Proverbs.1:5, 2:6-7a, 3:21b-22a; and 3:17 , 18a (NASV)

”If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.  But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt…”  

                             James 1:5. 6a (NIV)

Recently I attended a Lunch and Learn seminar sponsored by our safety department at work. The title was “Cause Mapping.” The hook for the seminar was, “Do you know the reason the Titanic sank?” Most of us immediately went to the main cause—that the ocean cruiser ran into an iceberg—as well as a few other explanations, but what surprised all of us was, in the end, 123 reasons were found to be causes or the “whys?” that so many lives were lost when this ship sank.

The discussion was fascinating as we further learned that had just one or two of these causes been fixed or paid heed to in the earlier time line of what led to the Titanic’s demise, the ship may not have sunk and so many lives been lost. Had the bulkhead been sealed correctly, had the SS Californian responded earlier, had the rudders been fashioned to turn more quickly, had there not been such arrogance of the designer and captain that this ship was “unsinkable”—many, or all, of those 1523 lives would not have perished.

Lately I’ve been pondering about other “sinking causes”—people or things that seem to be sinking or situations where the ship is heading towards an iceberg about to tear a big hole in lives or already has. 

To what degree does the universal and Biblical adage of “what you sow, you will reap” create a pathway that cannot be reversed? To what degree do earlier choices pave that more problematic life pathway that then makes it so hard to make a turn-about? Is there a statute of limitations on how soon we have to turn around before it’s too late to alter present life circumstances, to realize the potential God created us for? 
 

The law of cause and effect can’t be easily overruled just because we are sorry later on. I want to understand my own, and others, “cause mapping.”  I want to understand the root causes of behaviors, the whys of our journeys. But much more than that, I want to see hope despite the small and big ships that have sunk in our lives. In the midst of negative circumstances caused by wrong, ignorant or even innocent choices we made along the way. I want to see grace override that and see how God is weaving it for good.  I want wisdom for us to navigate in the midst of our present journeys. I want to see a redemptive ending despite difficult current pathways. 

I do think years of life can add wisdom, but even in our more “mature” age we still are figuring out that “we don’t know what we don’t know.” And some 20 and 30 year olds have much more wisdom at their age than I ever had at that age (or may ever have).  How did they get that? How do any of us obtain wisdom and where does that start? How, does one gain understanding that provides a reason to keep going and hopefully, have some kind of happier ending? 
  

In the case of the Titanic, for those that survived, it was because they had access to the lifeboats and were fortunate to be able to climb aboard, or others held onto a buoyant part of the blown apart boat, or perhaps had the stamina to tread water longer than others and they lived long enough to be pulled in when thrown a lifesaver. 

For those of us who are drowning or feel like we are sinking, there is another lifesaving tool, that story twist that can still give us a “happy ending.” It’s when we ask for wisdom from God who says He’ll generously give it to us. But before that can happen, it seems we first have to see our part in our demise (or our need for something beyond ourselves), and admit that God is the author of the wisdom we need. It’s a cross-roads place of faith that truly trusts God has our backs, where we truly expect an answer. And to be able to walk in that happier ending we need to accept and act on the wisdom given. 

Regardless of the causes, it’s when we swim towards the lifesaver God throws out to us or climb aboard the lifeboat, that we receive grace and start the journey towards gaining understanding. 

I love that wisdom brings life to our souls and that its paths are peace. I love that wisdom is like a tree of life and thus promises a fruitful future—that acting on what we know we need to do (or not do), will put us on a forward path again. That, despite the cause, or how deeply sunk we may feel, there is a lifeboat to bring us back to firm land.

And for those of us praying for others whose rudders are not turning fast enough to avoid looming icebergs: perhaps our prayer should be that they are led to a point to cry out for rescue and ask for wisdom. Because then...they (and we) have the opportunity by learning and acquiring wise counsel, to get to the place of practicing more of what we then know we know.

And, the further good news is that "God gives grace to those who are afflicted." (Proverbs 3:34 -NASB). He does not have a statute of limitations if we call on Him to help us.  He can turn around and redeem the difficult circumstances of our lives and work them all together for good. 

Love at Last

By Tawna Wilkinson

 

Winter now, is over.

Springtime at last has come.

The sap is flowing freely. 
The budding is begun.

There’s nothing that can stop it.

Love’s brought new life again.

Light’s moving through the branches.

Giving strength within.

Once the sap starts flowing,

The power it provides

Gives tender buds the strength they need

To breakthrough and to thrive.

Their grace and form unfolded,

Reflects what is within.

Love at last is present,
Now life can’t help but win.

  

GRACE FLAKES

Your grace falls softly like snowflakes…gently…uniquely. 
Collectively the crystals gather, illuminating our
darkness even in the night when we crave your presence
or forget you are as near to us as you are.
                  
We watch flakes grow smaller then big again and sense the wooing to calm our spirits, to rest in this blanket of love, to accept the miracle of nourishment, both to earth and our inner soil and soul.


As more flakes grow into tall mounds of white help us remember we are safe,
That snow angels encamp about us outside. Continue to protect us as we trust you to be our refuge in times of trouble and stress.

 Let us feel the soft feathers of your winged love regardless of cold, flood and angst. Remind us that stilling ourselves in you brings peace that passes understanding

My Psalm 23 Prayer

By Tawna Wilkinson

                                   

Ten years ago, during a very dark night in my life, Psalm 23 came to me in a breathtaking shaft of light. The truth is that “common” scripture I memorized as a child, and heard over and over, literally saved my life in those moments of terror. It gifted me with a strange peace I was extremely thankful for.

A few weeks back, a circumstance presented itself – just one more, in a long line of challenges since the death of my dad 15 months past. I had a bout with appendicitis. Although the intensity of the experience was not nearly as dramatic as my “dark night”, or the death of my dad…. it was tough.

And on one particular night while still in the hospital, I hit a point of deep discouragement. And the Lord brought me back to Psalm 23 in an intriguing form of encouragement. He invited me to say it to Him, in my own words, as a prayer of thanksgiving; as if my life was already complete.

This is what I prayed:

“You Lord, were always my Shepherd. Throughout my life You caused me to lie down, repeatedly in soft, green pastures. You led me beside peaceful, still waters. And You lovingly and gently stored, and re-stored my soul.

Papa, all of my life You led me in Your sweet paths of  righteousness, for the sake of Your holy and beautiful name.

Even though I have walked through the valley of the shadow of death, I have feared absolutely nothing, because You are still with me.

Your rod and Your staff, although hard, comforted me many times. As I knew that those whom You love You discipline.

More than once You laid out a feasting table for me to sit at in the very presence of the enemy of my soul. 

Over and over, You abundantly anointed my head with oil; my cup overflowed.

Surely goodness and mercy did more than follow me all the days of my earthly life. I not only lived on this earth in Your presence. But am now living in it with You, forever.”

The comfort I was absorbed in as I chose each word was profound. To thankfully pray my version of Psalm 23 to Him as if I had actually entered eternity gifted me with another breathtaking shaft of light. He shed peace on my past, recent past and future. And He filled me once again, with a quiet calm regarding my present situation.

THE MYSTERY OF FAITH: PERIPHERAL VISION

And here you are, 

Teasing in the corner of my eye,
Offering peripheral visions,
Knowing
That what can’t be borne
in sunlight
May still be known
in shadow.
 “Sometimes we can come to know a thing only by averting our gaze, by not shocking it with the full force of our looking…”

“…God longs to be courted, to dwell in a mystery that keeps us aching to touch the skin beneath the shadow.”

Quotes and the partial poem above are from the book In Wisdom’s Path, by Jan L. Richardson, Wanton Gospeller Press, © 2000,                  Website link: http://www.janrichardson.com/about.html
 
“Immortal, invisible, God only wise, In light inaccessible hid from our eyes…”
       (Lyrics from the hymn, “Immortal, Invisible,” Welsh melody, Walter Chalmers Smith (1824-1908)

Thoughts and ponderings of paradox mill much in my mind these days.  One of the most intriguing to me is how those who celebrate the mystery of faith (The crux: “Christ has died, Christ is risen, Christ will come again”), embrace a truth that is an intangible tangible.  We can’t touch or physically hold this faith, but we see its rays of light radiating strongly in darkness from those who believe in the mystery of God. Faith in this mystery that is our Creator, Redeemer and Friend, sustains those in grief and loss, gives hope to those who can’t see beyond the next bend in life as they wait for guidance or healing, lends meaning and significance to unanswered questions, and cradles in love those who desire and know the depth of God’s love for them.

Right before Thanksgiving my husband Steve and I attended the celebration of life service for Paul, the husband my dear friend Deb, who I've known for over 35 years. Their daughter, age 20, and son, age 16, and Deb knew that their father and husband walked in the mystery of this deep faith. He died way too soon of brain cancer at age 58. Trying to dissect this or look at it head on, the “why?” questions can’t be answered or given justice that makes any sense. But the “edge of faith” allows us to see from a different angle or point of view—perhaps seeing with “peripheral vision” into the truth that the Holy Spirit reveals. As Jan Richardson’s poem says, “That what can’t be borne in sunlight may still be known in shadow.”  I think this shadow is the vision of faith, akin perhaps to “seeing in the dark” or "looking outside the box." Though the mystery of who God is, remains "in light inaccessible hid from our eyes," vision through faith can illuminate more clearly.

Both Steve and I each have one eye that has lost clarity of central vision. Steve, due to a huge floater right in the center of his eye, and myself, as I wait the repair of a macular hole surgery. We both however, have better peripheral vision.  I resonate with Jan Richardson’s poem and prose above. She is the third person in just three months to proffer that we can see the stars better by looking through our peripheral vision (out of the corner of our eye) than straight at them.

The conundrums of life that bring questions which can’t be answered or fathomed by looking at them straight on or with scientific lenses, may be given light by looking at it from the "periphery" of faith vision. Of the hundreds of people who gathered for Paul’s service and celebrated the mystery of his faith, I doubt that any of us clearly yet understood why he was taken at this time from his family and friends. But we share in whom he believed and we “court our God” with thanksgiving as we know he will reveal enough light in the shadows to allow us to see enough. We ache and yearn to touch God, the skin of Him in person. We rest for now on promises of hope in the unseen, with the mystery we call faith.

Hurry Up and Wait

Life is a series of "hurry up and wait" moments strung together with pieces of fine twine, blown about by circumstances and held in place by faith.

Our days begin a rush. Commuters, travelers, students all in a hurry.

Even vacations begin in chaos. Up early, get to the airport early -- wait in line for luggage, security and of course coffee.

A mother's life is especially defined by these Waiting Moments -- 

Waiting for Conception. For Delivery. For Crawling. For Potty training. For School. For Graduation. For moving out. For the call home.

The promises of God can seem like that too.




Hurry --- Pray. Fast. Seek. Listen. Hear from God 

Wait --- Him to answer and His Word to be fulfilled.

The Children of Israel knew this very well. 

They received the promise of a deliverer and waited generations to see a Savior.

Rulers came and went. Nations rose and fell. Dictators came into power and disappeared. Captivity, deliverance, freedom,  captivity. . .

They did not let the Promise die. Through pain and suffering and waiting, they believed God would not lie.

Wait.

We live in a fast-paced world. The drive-through generation. Pizza in 30 minutes or less. Banking on our phone. Groceries delivered to our house. Information delivered to our pocket.   

Our entertainment comes in bite-sized pieces. Media presents life's tragedies and solves them in 30 minutes, 2 hours or 15 weeks depending upon the attention span of the audience.

We want God to do the same. To hear, promise, and deliver in 30 minutes or we get our money back. 

Like David, we cry, 

"Remember your word to your servant, 

for you have given me hope," 

Psalm 119:49.

When an accident broke my back, my mother prayed and God healed instantly. When I pleaded with God for a child, He took 5 years to fulfill His promise of a son.   

Our daughter came as beautiful surprise blessing. Yet after her stroke, God never said He would heal her but He did promise to walk with us every single day. Sometimes God has delivered her out of situations and healed a complication. The cerebral palsy remains. The movement disorder remains. Our faith remains.

Not every prayer has a promise - yet. Not every promise has been fulfilled - yet.

Some days I wonder if He has forgotten me - then I remember all the other answered prayers and my faith grows in His sovereignty and Goodness.  

Numerous are the cries God has yet to answer, even after years and even decades of faithfully bringing them before His throne.  

His answer remains --

"Don't let your hearts be troubled. 

Trust in God - Trust also in me,"

John 14:1 (NLT).

Hurry up and wait - God's way
           How do we wait for the fulfillment of His promises?

1.  Hurry

    - To God in Prayer 

     "Never stop praying, 1 Thessalonians 5:17 (GWT).


2.  Wait

    - Humbly
     "Be humbled by God's power so that when the right time comes he will honor you." 
          1 Peter 5:6 (GWT).

   - With Expectancy
     "Listen to my voice in the morning, LORD. Each morning I bring my requests to you and wait expectantly," Psalm 5:3 (NLT).

   - Always Remember
     "Take these words of mine to heart and keep them in mind," Deuteronomy 11:18 (GWT).
   God told the Children of Israel to remember His promises to them, to write them down and teach them to their children."
       
What has God promised you that you are doubting? Write down the promise. Put it where you can see it and read often. Remember He is Faithful.