(originally published in 2009)
As someone who has worked in more than one ministry {4 or 5 actually} I can tell you that I have, on occasion :) fallen into this. The desire to be right. The desire to make my "passion" everyone's passion. The desire to bring my ministry, my calling, to the forefront and make it known to everyone just how important my ministry is. Wow. How crazy and selfish am I?
Quite, actually. I think that this is something that every single one of us humans has a problem with. And it's not that it's a big problem in the beginning but it can turn into one. Let me explain.
When I was a youth pastor, teenagers were my passion. I loved everything about them. They were cool and fun and I loved hanging out with them, teaching them, and mentoring them. {good} I figured everyone should love it as much as I do. {not so good} I was amazed at some people's attitudes towards youth ministry. People were afraid of the teens, didn't want to volunteer, didn't want to give money to our ministry etc...it broke my heart. These teens were worth it! They deserved better!
Then I moved into Children's ministry. And kids became my passion. I loved teaching, hugging and loving the kids. {good} I felt like they had been forgotten. I was appalled that people {including parents} wouldn't volunteer to love our kids, teach them God's word, and help bring them up. It was such an important ministry. How could anyone see it any different? {not good}
I also have served in women's ministry. I loved getting to know women, hearing their struggles, praying for them, ministering to them, having fun with them. {good} How could people not all jump at the chance to serve women? {not good} They deserve it!
Now I'm doing our greeter ministry and am watching Mark lead worship. Two other very important ministries. Why don't people jump at the chance to serve there?
All of these ministries are important to God. All of them were important to me. Why was I so upset that they weren't important to everyone else?
Because God gave ME the heart for each ministry. God showed ME how to be an advocate for each one, how to love each one, how to serve each one, how to grow each one and how to be changed by each one. Am I right because I've loved each ministry? No. Is everyone else wrong because they don't share my passion for each one? No. Then why do I/we live like that?
I'm not saying that the world is relative and there is no right and wrong, that's not what I'm talking about here. I'm talking about the life that each one of us has. Why do we insist on thinking everyone should agree with everything we do? Is it so we are validated? So that we can be encouraged that we're doing the right ministry or raising our children right or believing the right politics? How sad are we?
I've seen people devastated in ministry because their ministry didn't get the attention they thought it deserved. They were bitter because their ministry wasn't highlighted, wasn't given the funding, wasn't given the attention by the "appropriate" people. They quit. They gave up. Sadly their audience wasn't the important ONE. The important ONE is God. Instead of looking to God for encouragement, validation etc... they looked to man. Man-who will always fail us. Always. Youth, children, greeters, missions, worship, sound, tech., orphans, men, women, singles, married, college...you name it, they all want to be the most important ministry. And they should be. Because they are all important to God. And He gives each of us a heart for that ministry. A heart to help. A heart to love, to minister, to be Jesus. We just can't expect everyone to feel the exact same way that we do. God gives each of us a heart for that ministry during that season for a reason. To bring attention to them maybe. Who knows. But we need to stop freaking out when others don't feel the same. God will take care of it. He will bring others with the same heart to our ministry. We just need to be obedient to what He's asked us to do. And stop being distracted by what we think others ought to be doing.
It doesn't stop in ministry either. I've seen parents like this. They are adamant about the choices they've made for their children and want everyone to agree. Like they are horrible parents if no else is doing it the exact same way they are. Adamant that you give birth naturally, or take drugs, breastfeed or bottle-feed, adopt or get pregnant, have a dozen children or none, spank or not, organic food or not, pacifiers or not, homeschool or public school, cloth diapers or disposable etc...It's insane! I've definitely, at times, been part of the problem. Hard to admit that I wanted others to agree with how I was raising my children in order to feel like I was doing the right thing. Instead of asking God, the ONE who gave me these children, if I was doing alright, I looked to others. And frankly, it made/makes me miserable. Because not everyone does it the same. They're not supposed to. And I'm not failing because I don't do it like everyone else. I'm not a bad parent because I gave birth to my children, breastfed them, disposable diapered them, spanked them on occasion, gave them whatever food I have, pacifiered them, homeschooled them and loved them. Nor are you a bad parent if you don't do any of this! Why must we constantly compare?
I think it has to do with our need to feel good. To feel right. Ugh! We all just wanna be right. Let's stop the madness. Let's stop the judgment. Let's look to HIM for our validation, our encouragement, our instructions, our worth. Man {woman} will fail us. Every time.
As someone who has worked in more than one ministry {4 or 5 actually} I can tell you that I have, on occasion :) fallen into this. The desire to be right. The desire to make my "passion" everyone's passion. The desire to bring my ministry, my calling, to the forefront and make it known to everyone just how important my ministry is. Wow. How crazy and selfish am I?
Quite, actually. I think that this is something that every single one of us humans has a problem with. And it's not that it's a big problem in the beginning but it can turn into one. Let me explain.
When I was a youth pastor, teenagers were my passion. I loved everything about them. They were cool and fun and I loved hanging out with them, teaching them, and mentoring them. {good} I figured everyone should love it as much as I do. {not so good} I was amazed at some people's attitudes towards youth ministry. People were afraid of the teens, didn't want to volunteer, didn't want to give money to our ministry etc...it broke my heart. These teens were worth it! They deserved better!
Then I moved into Children's ministry. And kids became my passion. I loved teaching, hugging and loving the kids. {good} I felt like they had been forgotten. I was appalled that people {including parents} wouldn't volunteer to love our kids, teach them God's word, and help bring them up. It was such an important ministry. How could anyone see it any different? {not good}
I also have served in women's ministry. I loved getting to know women, hearing their struggles, praying for them, ministering to them, having fun with them. {good} How could people not all jump at the chance to serve women? {not good} They deserve it!
Now I'm doing our greeter ministry and am watching Mark lead worship. Two other very important ministries. Why don't people jump at the chance to serve there?
All of these ministries are important to God. All of them were important to me. Why was I so upset that they weren't important to everyone else?
Because God gave ME the heart for each ministry. God showed ME how to be an advocate for each one, how to love each one, how to serve each one, how to grow each one and how to be changed by each one. Am I right because I've loved each ministry? No. Is everyone else wrong because they don't share my passion for each one? No. Then why do I/we live like that?
I'm not saying that the world is relative and there is no right and wrong, that's not what I'm talking about here. I'm talking about the life that each one of us has. Why do we insist on thinking everyone should agree with everything we do? Is it so we are validated? So that we can be encouraged that we're doing the right ministry or raising our children right or believing the right politics? How sad are we?
I've seen people devastated in ministry because their ministry didn't get the attention they thought it deserved. They were bitter because their ministry wasn't highlighted, wasn't given the funding, wasn't given the attention by the "appropriate" people. They quit. They gave up. Sadly their audience wasn't the important ONE. The important ONE is God. Instead of looking to God for encouragement, validation etc... they looked to man. Man-who will always fail us. Always. Youth, children, greeters, missions, worship, sound, tech., orphans, men, women, singles, married, college...you name it, they all want to be the most important ministry. And they should be. Because they are all important to God. And He gives each of us a heart for that ministry. A heart to help. A heart to love, to minister, to be Jesus. We just can't expect everyone to feel the exact same way that we do. God gives each of us a heart for that ministry during that season for a reason. To bring attention to them maybe. Who knows. But we need to stop freaking out when others don't feel the same. God will take care of it. He will bring others with the same heart to our ministry. We just need to be obedient to what He's asked us to do. And stop being distracted by what we think others ought to be doing.
It doesn't stop in ministry either. I've seen parents like this. They are adamant about the choices they've made for their children and want everyone to agree. Like they are horrible parents if no else is doing it the exact same way they are. Adamant that you give birth naturally, or take drugs, breastfeed or bottle-feed, adopt or get pregnant, have a dozen children or none, spank or not, organic food or not, pacifiers or not, homeschool or public school, cloth diapers or disposable etc...It's insane! I've definitely, at times, been part of the problem. Hard to admit that I wanted others to agree with how I was raising my children in order to feel like I was doing the right thing. Instead of asking God, the ONE who gave me these children, if I was doing alright, I looked to others. And frankly, it made/makes me miserable. Because not everyone does it the same. They're not supposed to. And I'm not failing because I don't do it like everyone else. I'm not a bad parent because I gave birth to my children, breastfed them, disposable diapered them, spanked them on occasion, gave them whatever food I have, pacifiered them, homeschooled them and loved them. Nor are you a bad parent if you don't do any of this! Why must we constantly compare?
I think it has to do with our need to feel good. To feel right. Ugh! We all just wanna be right. Let's stop the madness. Let's stop the judgment. Let's look to HIM for our validation, our encouragement, our instructions, our worth. Man {woman} will fail us. Every time.
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