Throwback Thursday - Confessions of an Imperfect Christian

(originally published in 2009)

 

A few weeks ago I started this blog post. I wrote down everything I was feeling and then saved it. I wasn't sure if it was understandable. I didn't know if my heart was heard. So I've written and re-written it several times. Finally I scrapped it and started over. Mainly because it took me awhile to feel like I'm able to really share my confessions and point you to God - the perfect one.

This past weekend I went to a woman's conference in Atlanta, GA (first time I've ever been south)! I went with my good friend Maria and we had a blast. No kids, no responsibilities (sort of), and just one-on-one good woman friend time. It was refreshing, convicting, exhausting and fabulously fun. I'll share more later but this brings me to this blog.

During a couple of the sessions I decided to put down on paper just what I was thinking and feeling about being a Christian. As I started to write, out poured words and thoughts. It was very freeing. 

I have noticed that I so badly want you to know the God I know — the kindness, grace, peace, love, and strength.  I confess , I might have been trying to "sell" Him. Not on purpose really, at least not consciously. It's not that he isn't good enough and I have to make Him sound better, but I just truly want you to want to know Him like I do. I want to be an example of who He is and show what He's done in my life. I find myself trying to fit Him into others thinking so He will make sense to them. 

 

What a mess I can make!

So I am so sorry for "selling" Jesus to you. Here's the truth...

I'm impatient - He is not

I'm imperfect - He is not

I have a difficult time loving unconditionally - He does not

I'm weak - He is strong

I'm judgmental - He is not

I struggle - He does not

I get stressed - He does not

I worry - He does not

I fear - He does not

I crave love - He is love

I desire wisdom - He is wisdom

I want to know the truth - He is Truth

I am empty - He fills me

I want to plan - He's my planner

I get frustrated - He does not

I get confused - He does not

I get overwhelmed - He does not

I'm prideful - He is not

I'm natural - He's supernatural

I need grace - He gives it to me

I need forgiveness - He forgives me

I'm not righteous - He is

I'm not worthy - He makes me worthy

I love my family - He loves them even more

I know my past - He knows my future

I cry tears - He collects them

My burdens are heavy - He carries them

I am tired - He sustains me

I fail - He is faithful

I feel loneliness - He is my friend

I lose hope - He is hope

He is all of this to me and more. He's my rock, my story-creator, my everything! 

I pray you would know Him as He is and not how I try to make Him.