Gaining Understanding

By Nancy Turley
 

"You don't know what you don't know when you're young.” (and sometimes old - added by N. Turley)  (The original quote is from Lots Of Candles, Plenty Of Cake, Advice to My Younger Self by Anna Quindlen)

"A wise (wo)man will hear and increase with learning. And a (wo)man of understanding will acquire wise counsel.”

"For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding; he stores up sound wisdom for the upright.”

 “Keep sound wisdom and discretion. So they will be life to your soul.”

                            
“All her paths are peace. She is tree of life to those who take hold of her and happy are all who hold her fast.”  

                            Proverbs.1:5, 2:6-7a, 3:21b-22a; and 3:17 , 18a (NASV)

”If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.  But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt…”  

                             James 1:5. 6a (NIV)

Recently I attended a Lunch and Learn seminar sponsored by our safety department at work. The title was “Cause Mapping.” The hook for the seminar was, “Do you know the reason the Titanic sank?” Most of us immediately went to the main cause—that the ocean cruiser ran into an iceberg—as well as a few other explanations, but what surprised all of us was, in the end, 123 reasons were found to be causes or the “whys?” that so many lives were lost when this ship sank.

The discussion was fascinating as we further learned that had just one or two of these causes been fixed or paid heed to in the earlier time line of what led to the Titanic’s demise, the ship may not have sunk and so many lives been lost. Had the bulkhead been sealed correctly, had the SS Californian responded earlier, had the rudders been fashioned to turn more quickly, had there not been such arrogance of the designer and captain that this ship was “unsinkable”—many, or all, of those 1523 lives would not have perished.

Lately I’ve been pondering about other “sinking causes”—people or things that seem to be sinking or situations where the ship is heading towards an iceberg about to tear a big hole in lives or already has. 

To what degree does the universal and Biblical adage of “what you sow, you will reap” create a pathway that cannot be reversed? To what degree do earlier choices pave that more problematic life pathway that then makes it so hard to make a turn-about? Is there a statute of limitations on how soon we have to turn around before it’s too late to alter present life circumstances, to realize the potential God created us for? 
 

The law of cause and effect can’t be easily overruled just because we are sorry later on. I want to understand my own, and others, “cause mapping.”  I want to understand the root causes of behaviors, the whys of our journeys. But much more than that, I want to see hope despite the small and big ships that have sunk in our lives. In the midst of negative circumstances caused by wrong, ignorant or even innocent choices we made along the way. I want to see grace override that and see how God is weaving it for good.  I want wisdom for us to navigate in the midst of our present journeys. I want to see a redemptive ending despite difficult current pathways. 

I do think years of life can add wisdom, but even in our more “mature” age we still are figuring out that “we don’t know what we don’t know.” And some 20 and 30 year olds have much more wisdom at their age than I ever had at that age (or may ever have).  How did they get that? How do any of us obtain wisdom and where does that start? How, does one gain understanding that provides a reason to keep going and hopefully, have some kind of happier ending? 
  

In the case of the Titanic, for those that survived, it was because they had access to the lifeboats and were fortunate to be able to climb aboard, or others held onto a buoyant part of the blown apart boat, or perhaps had the stamina to tread water longer than others and they lived long enough to be pulled in when thrown a lifesaver. 

For those of us who are drowning or feel like we are sinking, there is another lifesaving tool, that story twist that can still give us a “happy ending.” It’s when we ask for wisdom from God who says He’ll generously give it to us. But before that can happen, it seems we first have to see our part in our demise (or our need for something beyond ourselves), and admit that God is the author of the wisdom we need. It’s a cross-roads place of faith that truly trusts God has our backs, where we truly expect an answer. And to be able to walk in that happier ending we need to accept and act on the wisdom given. 

Regardless of the causes, it’s when we swim towards the lifesaver God throws out to us or climb aboard the lifeboat, that we receive grace and start the journey towards gaining understanding. 

I love that wisdom brings life to our souls and that its paths are peace. I love that wisdom is like a tree of life and thus promises a fruitful future—that acting on what we know we need to do (or not do), will put us on a forward path again. That, despite the cause, or how deeply sunk we may feel, there is a lifeboat to bring us back to firm land.

And for those of us praying for others whose rudders are not turning fast enough to avoid looming icebergs: perhaps our prayer should be that they are led to a point to cry out for rescue and ask for wisdom. Because then...they (and we) have the opportunity by learning and acquiring wise counsel, to get to the place of practicing more of what we then know we know.

And, the further good news is that "God gives grace to those who are afflicted." (Proverbs 3:34 -NASB). He does not have a statute of limitations if we call on Him to help us.  He can turn around and redeem the difficult circumstances of our lives and work them all together for good. 

The Administration of Reconciliation

By Tawna Wilkinson

    

The other day, I had a hard and messy conversation with an individual regarding their dissatisfaction with the church, and what they felt was wrong with it. The truth is I was hurt and very frustrated, as this wasn’t the first time I’d been approached with the same thing.

However, after I allowed myself the shabby process of sorting out my raw emotions with God and my husband, the Lord reminded of II Corinthians 5:17-21:

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. Now all things are of God, who has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ, and has given us the ministry of reconciliation, that is, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not imputing their trespasses to them, and has committed to us the word of reconciliation. Now then, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were pleading through us: we implore you on Christ’s behalf, be reconciled to God. For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.”

I realized if things were the way He intended in the beginning, there would be no need for our administrating reconciliation. For when things are reconciled, they are back to the way they were created to be.

When Christ was here He waded through enormous dysfunction with people’s perceptions of what He needed to do to make things right – in the synagogues; with the Pharisees and crowds; with the twelve men He hand-picked to journey with Him; even with his mother and siblings. And though Scripture doesn’t give much detail about His childhood, I can’t help but think there was a lot of muddling He had to endure just being a kid and teenager.

We want things to be neat and tidy; to be okay. And more times than not, I think that means, the way I want them to be. We hate the groaning our spirits, bodies and souls experience when we perceive things are not the way they’re supposed to be. And the last thing we want to do is stick around and engage in the hard work of restoration.

 Several years ago, a wise young man said to me, “Relationships are messy, and no one wants to get involved in them.” He was right. It’s obvious. When things don’t go the way we want, our first reaction is to bail…. don’t stick around and muddle through the mess and confusing in-betweens. It hurts. It’s hard. We have no promise that we’re going to see resolution. And what’s worse, we have no control over the outcome, let alone another’s choice.

I completely understand. I’ve bailed more times than I care to admit. I’ve thrown my hands up in frustration umpteen times, “knowing” for certain things are never going to change. But if that is true, then this passage of Scripture isn’t.

So today, I am actually thankful for the individual approaching me. For although the issue was not resolved, I now see I was presented with another opportunity to use my “ambassador muscles.” God, and this person, trusted me with part of the messy process of bringing a piece of reconciliation to this beautiful, broken and messy world. And I am glad I chose to engage in it.

What Is The Church?

It is more than a building of bricks and mortar;
    Much more than a gathering of people with similar interests.
        It is not a stagnant pool of ideas;
            Nor is it a wasteland void of intelligence.

The Church is a living organism.  
          In constant change while remaining rooted on one solid foundation:
   

Jesus Christ 

  










Just as Christ was hated, so people hate the church.

It is seen as an organized group of hypocritical, weak-minded, non-thinkers who use religion as a crutch to mystically explain the galaxy and justify the outcome of their existence.


While sitting in service on a recent Sunday morning, I began to look at those around me --

I saw the Brave - 
    Who have recently lost a baby
          And still are serving children in the nursery.

I saw the Strong -
     Who have seen marriages crumble
          And take time to feed a young widow.

I saw Professionals - 
     Who gave up careers to share Jesus
          And love people more than comfort.

I saw the Aged - 
     With achy bodies and facing the twilight of life
          And greet others with a smile and hug and words to encourage.

I saw hurting women, doubting men, struggling teens, questioning husbands, tired moms, weary travelers and seeking students.

I was surrounded by the broken, the struggling and the lost.    
There was sin and illness and pain;  anger issues, workaholics and recovering addicts.

And it was the most beautiful thing I have ever witnessed.

The church is not a refuge for the perfect from a fallen world.

It is a sanctuary for the struggling, striving, growing, forgiven followers of Christ.

It is a way-station for the weary travelers on life's road.

It is an emergency ward for those who are wounded both physically, emotionally and spiritually.

It is a school for those yearning to walk closer with God.

It is a place where Truth is tempered with Grace and Mercy.

Where hands are held and tears are shed and joys are shared.

Yes, the church is  full of hypocrites and sinners.

     But so much more ------

It is HOPE !

The Church is not perfect because it is filled with people.

People battling the hurt of a fallen world.

Imperfect people who need the HOPE of Jesus Christ.

May we be brave to be perfectly imperfect and love those around us with Christ's perfect love.  May we serve those in our community - at work, our neighbors and in our church.

How can you show Christ's love to the Church?

How can you serve those in the Church?

Still

By Kim Beach

Ever just get tired of being here? In this life? In this time and place, filling this space on earth? 

Sometimes I look around at the pain and heartache of this world and I just want to hide. Runaway. Flee.

Senseless death claims a friend's son and another friend's brother. Cancer. A family struggles to find a home. War. Broken relationships. Disease wrecks bodies. Marriages in crisis.  

Young people grapple for identity. Fallen Heroes. People use their hurts as weapons. Slavery claims more captives than ever in human history. Abortion. Children are pawns in a game of "love". They are disposable. Suicide. Loss.

It just hurts too much.  

Hopelessness begins to surround me like a cloud. It wraps around me like a heavy woolen blanket, hot and inescapable. Struggle seems futile as it pulls me into despair.

"Where are you God ?!"

Silence.

"Do you see this mess ?!?"

Darkness

"Do you care?"

Then I hear Him whisper...

And a song fills my heart . . .

His promise is true. . .

"He is near to the brokenhearted and those whose
spirits are crushed,"
Psalm 34:18

And HOPE grows again. . .

Learning to Forgive - PART 2

By Megan Danquah

Last month, I began this mini-series (HERE) on forgiveness by sharing some of the truths that I discovered about forgiveness, taken from my personal forgiveness journey. Today, I would like to share the practical steps that you can take to see freedom from wounds small and big alike become a reality in your own life.

1.  First of all, you must know what it is that hurt you. In other words, you must define the pain you are experiencing. Without definition, it is a cancer that is spreading throughout your body, slowly killing your soul and spirit, and eventually your body as well! Keeping a journal is helpful in this process. You can start by writing a detailed account of the event that caused the pain. What happened? Who said what? Where were you, what were you wearing, what were you feeling? How old were you at the time? Afterward, you can use a series of statements to help you further mine out the consequences of the injury you experienced. Help yourself to fill in statements about what you believed before the injury occurred and what it has caused you to believe now.

2. Once you have thoroughly defined the pain you have experienced, you must own it as your own. You must make sure that you are able to separate out the pain that you experienced versus the pain others may have experienced because of the same event. You do not want to be taking on other’s pain in this process. Own only what is yours. After you have done that, it is imperative that you, in essence, be able to look at that pain you have defined, and say to it “I see you, I understand you, and I accept you.” You need to accept that the pain you experienced is yours to own and the fact that it will shape the person you are to become.

3. Next is the part where you put the blame where it belongs. I had tendencies of taking blame upon myself for many wounds I experienced in my life. It was a coping mechanism in which helped me to avoid the anger and grief that I experienced as a result of injurious circumstances. One of the most empowering things that I ever did was fully feel the anger and sadness and despair that were my right to feel after the injury I experienced. It kept the depression at bay because I wasn’t blaming myself. It helped me understand that the clinical definition of depression—anger turned inward—was true! Misplaced anger, or misplaced blame, incapacitates us and disempowers us, causing depression and fog in our lives.

4. Then it was time for me to decide to forgive. And you know what? I could, much easier. It was no longer a “mind-over-matter” situation for me because I had given vent to my feelings of anger, sadness, and despair, for as long as I needed to do so. And I had done that in the correct direction, putting the blame where it belonged, which was outside of myself and on the person it belonged to.

Finally, FREEDOM!  Let’s say it again: F*R*E*E*D*O*M!!!!  

You CAN achieve forgiveness. You CAN see a strength emerge in yourself that you never saw before. You CAN live in freedom and wholeness. You CAN heal! My hope is that this post has taken some of the mystery out of the very intentional process that we call forgiveness and my encouragement is that, no matter were you are in your life, that you take your first steps into that freedom. It really is there, and it really is possible! 

Can you see yourself walking through these steps and finding freedom and wholeness? Do you believe it is possible? If not, what is holding you back?

**On a last note, a huge resource that I used in my process which goes into much more detail than I did here was a book called Forgiving the Unforgivable by Beverly Flanigan. The forgiveness steps I used here were adapted from her book.