By Esther Belin
An image came to me one Sunday at the close of a worship
service. The image came with such an overwhelming
emotion of melancholy. God’s presence was so heavy; there was an
overflow it. The message was packed with
God’s goodness – we were fed well that day! The image that came to me was gold nuggets – a treasure of them. They were the overflow of His blessing and He
wanted us (His church) to gather them up and take them home. Yet, I was so
grieved, numb with a wave of melancholy.
Why?
It seemed like no one else saw the treasure – that no one was
taking home the gold nuggets placed right in front and beside them.
I was so weighed down because of this word: melancholy –
that I later did a quick word study.
I had known melancholy to simply mean a state of sadness or
being lonely. However, the root origin
is Greek and the literal meaning is black bile.
According to the ancient Greek pathology, a person was diagnosed with
melancholy when they exhibited a wide range of symptoms (from irregular
digestion, enlarged liver/spleen to nervous exhaustion or the feeling of
something being stuck in the throat) which was believed to be caused by an
excess of black bile in the body.
That day in church I definitely felt a deep congestion like
the feeling of something being stuck in my throat.

I knew at that moment God was grieving over us. He was grieving because there are remnants of
a dead and lukewarm church – and consequently we cannot see or do not care to
pick up and take home the treasure. Now
sisters I say this with no condemnation because I lived in this state for many
years (and I always justified it because of my circumstances which indeed were
oppressive).
Rather, we need to take heart that our compassionate and
sovereign Lord and Savior is unfailing.
He will show up every time his people are gathered. Yet, do we enter the house of the Lord with
expectation? Do we really believe that
God wants to satisfy our souls “with the richest of foods”? (Ps. 63:5).
The table is set. The
menu is perfect. God invites us personally
to feast.

And we do every week. (I thank Jesus that our pastors use their anointing
to enrich the Kingdom.)
The meal is nourishing and filling. The company is encouraging, funny and
like-minded. We feast on God’s word
every week at church. Yes, the church in
general does a great job of feeding the people. However, weekly meals are not enough to keep us nourished and filled.
God’s presence is enough but if we don’t constantly seek
Him, we will be continually undernourished and empty (and in such a famished,
needy state). God wants to bless
us. He wants us to take those gold nuggets
home. He expects us to take the gold
nuggets home so during the week we can experience more of His presence by
studying his character. Only God
prepares such a grand feast where he expects us to take a doggie bag home.
How can we be the light and salt of the world if we haven’t learned
how to nourish ourselves on God’s word outside of weekly church experiences?
How do we create a desire to meditate on God’s word – day and
night (Ps. 1:2)?
There is no universal formula, but there are universal factors. Basically, it is a lifestyle, it is an
attitude, it is a pattern.
Here is a pattern I use: Posture, Praise, Prayer, Pruning
Below are some verses that correlate to each factor in my
pattern (there are so many more).
Posture: Ps.
119:130, Ps. 37:23-24, Ps. 38:9, Ps. 40:6, Ps. 14:2, Ps. 37:4-8, Ps. 42:1-2, Ps.
46:10
Praise: Ps. 16:11,
Ps. 113:3, Ps. 34:19, Ps. 19:7-8, Ps. 46:1-3, Ps. 47:7, Ps. 92:1-2, Ps. 107:9,
Ps. 150:6
Prayer: Ps. 26:2, Ps.
34:4, Ps. 119:11, Ps. 51:12, Ps. 55:22, Ps. 43:3, Ps. 61:1-3, Ps. 90:16-17, Ps.
130:5-6, Ps. 141:1-4
Pruning: Ps.
51:6-7, Ps. 94:12, Ps. 119:36-37, Ps. 119:103-104, Ps. 139:1-3, John 15:1-2
The book of Psalms has been comforting and mysterious to
me. I am drawn to the mystery behind the
psalms and the psalmist. I want to know
the character of God and the Psalms are a wonderful way to experience God’s
majesty, mystery, love, grace, and mercy.
Dear readers, I leave this verse for you to feast on, as it
has been essential to fine-tuning my posture of daily meditating on God’s word.
Isaiah 50:4
The Sovereign Lord has
given me an instructed tongue, to know the word that sustains the weary. He wakens me morning by morning, wakens my
ear to listen like one being taught.
It is a practice. Not
perfect, but possible.