To Obey

“But Samuel replied, "What is more pleasing to the LORD: your burnt offerings and sacrifices or  your obedience to his voice? Listen! Obedience is better than sacrifice, 

and submission is better than offering the 

fat of rams,"  1 Samuel 15:22

Life as a parent is always exciting - and not always in a good way. I am a “Book Mom” - I read the parenting books and articles and I love the virtues of a schedule. However, I learned within 2 weeks of being a first-time mom - the schedule lasts for about 2 days and then it changes. It adjusts. It’s in a constant state of being tweaked.

Looking back, I now see how God was preparing for me life as a Hospital Mom. Having a child with chronic health problems means that no two weeks are the same - rarely two days! You live with a hospital bag packed. You keep medical records in a folder you can grab on the way out the door in the middle of the night. In the winter, you keep sidewalks plowed to leave in snow storms and the gas tank rarely goes below half a tank.

And somewhere along the road, you even begin to the embrace the chaos. You learn to laugh at odd things. One night, driving into the emergency room, my daughter and I were making up sayings for t-shirts like - “Ask me one more time on a Scale of 1-10…  then we will see what your pain level is!”

There are seasons of peace and then meds changes, bodies change and things get complicated again.

On January 14, 2016, I wrote, “almost half-way through the month. Almost. We were at Day 14 before we went to an emergency room.  It's been 9 months since our last ER vsisit.” That night, we visited two ERs before receiving treatment - the first one was full and her care would have been delayed so long that the likelihood of her being admitted for pain management increased with each 10 minutes. It was frustrating, to say the least. For both of us.

The next day, I received the following reply to my social media post about the night’s events.

“I have to tell you a story... about how God worked a few nights ago. I had to take my little Tyler to Animas Surgical Hospital because he wasn't feeling well. We waited forever to get seen. Never has that happen before there. Then when we were in our room I just kept getting a feeling that I needed to pray for someone across the hall. God just wouldn't let it go.  I have been so far away from him over the last couple of years... but he wasn't letting me let go of the urge to pray for these people (especially a mom) on the room across the hall. I didn't know who was in that room... but I saw your blog on facebook... I know it was you!!!! I have no doubt! I have no question. I don't even have to ask you! You were in the room on the right when you first come through the door... closest to the bathroom. God had me praying for you! He had me pray for peace... comfort... understanding... there were so many words coming to my heart... God put us there, in that room... to pray for you. I told Tyler that I knew I had a friend in that room... someone that needed comfort... and my prayers. God is so awesome! Just thought you should know. Love you my sister!!!”

We were indeed in the first room on the right!  I cried as I read this note. Before I had a need, God had already placed an advocate there to intercede for me! As we waited for the doctors that night, I had excused myself to the restroom where I did what I rarely allow - I broke down in tears. Messy crying. Crouched in the corner of the bathroom, forehead on my knees, sobbing.  No prayers of faith. No words of wisdom. Just one heart-broken mom that my child was in so much pain and there was nothing I could do to help her.

She went on to write: “It was awesome! God is awesome! . . .He was there for you!!! He was there before you! We were there first! Lol.”


The most amazing part of this story is that how God showed this Momma that she was loved - He still knew her name; that she was valued - He knew He could use her to pray; and that His timing was perfect- she was there first.

My friend’s obedience that night began when she chose that hospital to seek care for her child. It continued when she prayed. And in sharing the story, it was completed! I needed to hear how God had made provision for us and also had God redeemed our pain by calling His daughter back to Him.

Where is God calling you to obey today?  It may be simple, even seem silly - but never discount that quiet voice that urges you to Go. Pray. Love. Obey.

Hurry Up and Wait

Life is a series of "hurry up and wait" moments strung together with pieces of fine twine, blown about by circumstances and held in place by faith.

Our days begin a rush. Commuters, travelers, students all in a hurry.

Even vacations begin in chaos. Up early, get to the airport early -- wait in line for luggage, security and of course coffee.

A mother's life is especially defined by these Waiting Moments -- 

Waiting for Conception. For Delivery. For Crawling. For Potty training. For School. For Graduation. For moving out. For the call home.

The promises of God can seem like that too.




Hurry --- Pray. Fast. Seek. Listen. Hear from God 

Wait --- Him to answer and His Word to be fulfilled.

The Children of Israel knew this very well. 

They received the promise of a deliverer and waited generations to see a Savior.

Rulers came and went. Nations rose and fell. Dictators came into power and disappeared. Captivity, deliverance, freedom,  captivity. . .

They did not let the Promise die. Through pain and suffering and waiting, they believed God would not lie.

Wait.

We live in a fast-paced world. The drive-through generation. Pizza in 30 minutes or less. Banking on our phone. Groceries delivered to our house. Information delivered to our pocket.   

Our entertainment comes in bite-sized pieces. Media presents life's tragedies and solves them in 30 minutes, 2 hours or 15 weeks depending upon the attention span of the audience.

We want God to do the same. To hear, promise, and deliver in 30 minutes or we get our money back. 

Like David, we cry, 

"Remember your word to your servant, 

for you have given me hope," 

Psalm 119:49.

When an accident broke my back, my mother prayed and God healed instantly. When I pleaded with God for a child, He took 5 years to fulfill His promise of a son.   

Our daughter came as beautiful surprise blessing. Yet after her stroke, God never said He would heal her but He did promise to walk with us every single day. Sometimes God has delivered her out of situations and healed a complication. The cerebral palsy remains. The movement disorder remains. Our faith remains.

Not every prayer has a promise - yet. Not every promise has been fulfilled - yet.

Some days I wonder if He has forgotten me - then I remember all the other answered prayers and my faith grows in His sovereignty and Goodness.  

Numerous are the cries God has yet to answer, even after years and even decades of faithfully bringing them before His throne.  

His answer remains --

"Don't let your hearts be troubled. 

Trust in God - Trust also in me,"

John 14:1 (NLT).

Hurry up and wait - God's way
           How do we wait for the fulfillment of His promises?

1.  Hurry

    - To God in Prayer 

     "Never stop praying, 1 Thessalonians 5:17 (GWT).


2.  Wait

    - Humbly
     "Be humbled by God's power so that when the right time comes he will honor you." 
          1 Peter 5:6 (GWT).

   - With Expectancy
     "Listen to my voice in the morning, LORD. Each morning I bring my requests to you and wait expectantly," Psalm 5:3 (NLT).

   - Always Remember
     "Take these words of mine to heart and keep them in mind," Deuteronomy 11:18 (GWT).
   God told the Children of Israel to remember His promises to them, to write them down and teach them to their children."
       
What has God promised you that you are doubting? Write down the promise. Put it where you can see it and read often. Remember He is Faithful.

The Making of a Hospital Mom

"When the Unthinkable becomes your Reality, 

you have two choices: Regret or Redemption"  ~ The Hospital Mom

On January 27, 1999 the unthinkable became our reality. Our pink and precious daughter of 6 months suffered a massive mid-cerebral arterial stroke. The main artery between her spine and her brain had become blocked from a blood clot at the juncture where it splits into the left and right hemispheres. Worldwide, 1 in 25,000 live births will suffer a stroke each year.  

The years that have followed have been tumultuous. Doctors, therapies, drug studies, seizures, and surgeries. There are times where I felt I have earned doctoral degrees in Physical Therapy, Occupational Therapy, Pharmacology, Neurology, Developmental Pediatrics and Child Psychology from the Mother's Medical Institute.

At any moment I can walk into an emergency room and speak in medical terms with any nurse, doctor or specialist. Pity the poor nurse who argued with me that my child could not possibly have suffered a stroke. "Children do not have strokes," she said with condescending authority.

Ashley was having seizures and I walked into the emergency room in Tulsa, Oklahoma telling the medical team what she needed. I had been on the phone with her neurologist and we agreed I could transport her to the hospital quicker than an ambulance could find me - plus I was already in the car and on my way - and he would meet me there.  

My dad met us at the hospital and while he entertained my 25 month old daughter, I politely asked the nurse to step outside the room. "Never tell a parent in front of a child that they are making up a diagnosis, especially one this horrid," I said with the indignation of a mom who was living the unimaginable. The nurse continued to argue with me as the doctor approached and I told her to go pull up the MRI and CT scans from the past 2 years. "I will," she assured me and stomped off, hands on her hips. And she did. The neurologist arrived, treatment began and later, he brought a very apologetic nurse into the room and assured her that infants do indeed have strokes.  

That night I realized that parents must be advocates for their children. As the years passed, I learned most parents are so intimated by the medical process, hospital personnel and are simply overwhelmed by their situation that they are afraid to speak up. They will accept whatever is told them and not ask questions, advocate for help or seek solutions for their children.  

I have worked with families in numerous settings - adult education centers, as a parent advocate in schools, at church and as a chaplain. The redemption of Ashley's story is in sharing the wisdom, education and experiences we have gained in this struggle.  

Parents of chronically medically challenged children are more likely to divorce, have extra-marital affairs and battle addictions. As their world centers around their children, hospitals and the medical world, they withdraw into themselves and face depression while living in a constant state of regret - the "would of, could of, should of" state of mind.  

Our purpose is simple:

         To provide Hope and Humor to Families of Chronically Medically Challenged Children. 

The ways we do that are numerous:

         Website - Hospitalmom.net

         Facebook - Hospital Mom

         Writing for Blogs like this one and at HospitalMom.net

         Answering Emails of Hurting Families at      
                    Kim@hospitalmom.net

         H.O.P.E. Delivery Bags for Caregivers at Hospitals

Currently, I am writing a book to bring Hope to Families. The following is an excerpt from "Beautifully Complicated," the story of redeeming the hurt in our lives in order "to Know HIM and Make HIM Known."

from BEAUTIFULLY COMPLICATED

“This is my Father’s World

and to my listening ears

    All nature sings and ‘round me rings

The beauty of the sphere.”

Eighteen years ago I first sang this song to my infant baby girl. Born early - eager to change our world. Born tiny - proving size does not matter. Born the baby sister - her brother in love with her before she was before. Born a surprise - her daddy named her the moment he saw the positive pregnancy test. 

“This is my Father’s World

I rest me in the thought

   Of rocks and trees; of skies and seas

His hand the wonders wrought.”

Fifteen times I have laid her on an operating table and sang those words in her ear as she drifted to sleep. Sometimes easily.  Sometimes fearfully, gripping my hand.  Sometimes I have had tears in own voice and many times, I have sang to a room full of surgeons and technicians who came to the operating theater because they had heard of this family who sang before surgery and wanted to experience the peace that is in the room.

Three times I have sang this hymn in the surgery waiting room because that facility did not allow me to accompany her into the operating room.

Eighteen surgeries.  

        Thousands of miles driven in rain, snow, sunshine and shadow. 

        Months our family has lived apart - separated by 8 hours and the Rocky Mountains.

        Dozens of professionals. Hundreds of medications. Thousands of phone calls to doctors.  
Ten Thousands of hours in research by specialists and parents.   

        Millions of prayers raised by family, friends and even strangers.

This indeed is My Father's World. The Unthinkable will happen because this world is in a fallen state where the sin of mankind has brought heartache. Yet God redeems the pain of our fallen state to help each other. When we help each other that pain becomes bearable, even manageable as we allow Him to reveal His glory as we live other lives for others.  

           “This is my Father's world. 

                    O let me ne'er forget 

              that though the wrong seems oft so strong, 

                   God is the ruler yet. 

            This is my Father's world: 

                   why should my heart be sad? 

            The Lord is King; let the heavens ring! 

                  God reigns; let the earth be glad!”

Are you living the Unthinkable?  

Where you never dreamed you would be?

Are you living in Regret - depressed, lonely, self-pity -  or in Redemption?

As you listen to the song below, go to God in Prayer and 

ask the Father -

"How will you redeem the pain in my life?  

Who can I serve?"

"This is Our Father's World"

Our Favorite Version! Enjoy!

  Amy Grant "This Is My Father's World"

No More

By Kim Beach

No More

 

How long do we sit in mourning?  

Lamenting the grief of our loss,

The pain of our transgressions 

The shame of our failures? 

How long do we hang our head,

Ash covered and naked?

How long do we weep tears of

Anger and hide in fear?

How long is acceptable?

How long do we wait?

How long must we wail

And beat ourselves with sticks?

Enough. It is done.  

No more. It is over.  

Look up. I am here. 

Emmanuel has come. 

What Is The Church?

It is more than a building of bricks and mortar;
    Much more than a gathering of people with similar interests.
        It is not a stagnant pool of ideas;
            Nor is it a wasteland void of intelligence.

The Church is a living organism.  
          In constant change while remaining rooted on one solid foundation:
   

Jesus Christ 

  










Just as Christ was hated, so people hate the church.

It is seen as an organized group of hypocritical, weak-minded, non-thinkers who use religion as a crutch to mystically explain the galaxy and justify the outcome of their existence.


While sitting in service on a recent Sunday morning, I began to look at those around me --

I saw the Brave - 
    Who have recently lost a baby
          And still are serving children in the nursery.

I saw the Strong -
     Who have seen marriages crumble
          And take time to feed a young widow.

I saw Professionals - 
     Who gave up careers to share Jesus
          And love people more than comfort.

I saw the Aged - 
     With achy bodies and facing the twilight of life
          And greet others with a smile and hug and words to encourage.

I saw hurting women, doubting men, struggling teens, questioning husbands, tired moms, weary travelers and seeking students.

I was surrounded by the broken, the struggling and the lost.    
There was sin and illness and pain;  anger issues, workaholics and recovering addicts.

And it was the most beautiful thing I have ever witnessed.

The church is not a refuge for the perfect from a fallen world.

It is a sanctuary for the struggling, striving, growing, forgiven followers of Christ.

It is a way-station for the weary travelers on life's road.

It is an emergency ward for those who are wounded both physically, emotionally and spiritually.

It is a school for those yearning to walk closer with God.

It is a place where Truth is tempered with Grace and Mercy.

Where hands are held and tears are shed and joys are shared.

Yes, the church is  full of hypocrites and sinners.

     But so much more ------

It is HOPE !

The Church is not perfect because it is filled with people.

People battling the hurt of a fallen world.

Imperfect people who need the HOPE of Jesus Christ.

May we be brave to be perfectly imperfect and love those around us with Christ's perfect love.  May we serve those in our community - at work, our neighbors and in our church.

How can you show Christ's love to the Church?

How can you serve those in the Church?

The Power of Encourgament

By Kim Beach

Who doesn't like a surprise party?

Well, evidently I don't. I've been the recipient of two surprise parties in my lifetime and both times I was so determined to stay home that I almost missed my own celebrations.     

Recently some of my dear girlfriends dressed as Pirates - in honor of my favorite movies -  and threw me a Surprise Birthday / Encouragement Party. There was sushi and pirate booty, pirate punch, cannonball meatballs and even a Pirate Ship chocolate cake! The wackiness was great, the laughter healing and I'm so glad they were able to get me to my own party!

Their gifts to me that evening were simple & yet extravagant.

Their time.

Their attention.

Their love.

Then each person took time to share with me either a scripture or word that God had shown them I needed to hear; they shared what I had meant to them in their lives.

It was awesome and humbling. 

This season of our life has been long and hard and weary. There are days that getting dressed is a major victory. These ladies have stood with me, prayed for me and stood in the gap when I could no longer pray at all.

As they shared words like Determined and Listen and scriptures from Psalm 20, a balm was poured over my soul and freshness awakened within me.

New Strength ~ New Peace ~ New Energy!

Everyone needs Encouragement now and then. It doesn't have to be a Pirate Party - a card to your neighbor, an email to a friend, a text to your spouse - those words mean so much.  

Your words of love and truth can bring life and hope to a hurting heart. 

Who needs to your Words of Encouragement?  

Ask the Lord to show you - in the grocery store, in your workplace, at school,

in your own home - who needs to hear words that

bring life!