Throwback Thursday - Change Me on the Inside

(originally published in 2011)

I was driving into church last Sunday humming a worship song, listening to my kids in the backseat, and of course driving when I felt like God spoke clearly to me. It had to have been the song I was humming mixed with the prayers I've been praying that prompted this Holy Spirit visit {although He really doesn't really need prompting - basically my heart was finally ready to hear what He was going to speak}.

This is what I heard:
{and when I say heard I don't mean an audible voice, it's more like a thought that I know is definitely not mine -- the Bible talks about how His sheep will know His voice - the more I get to know God the easier it is to figure out when He's speaking to me. That's not to say that I don't miss it when He speaks. I still do that. A lot. But this day I don't think I missed it.}

You pray for other people - which is not a bad thing - however, many times you pray for them to change. What about your own heart? Why aren't you praying for your heart to change towards them? You are missing out on the work I want to do in your heart by focusing on others.

Bam! Like a gentle smack in the head (honestly I love it when God does that). I really want to change. I don't want to be the same old me. One who is judgmental, prideful, selfish...I want to love others like He wants me to love. I want to think of others before myself. I want to be like Him. I realized that I did pray for others to change. I think it was so I didn't have to. Or didn't have to deal with the thing I didn't like. I don't completely know my motive - can't quite pinpoint it - but I do know that many times I had selfish motives for sure.

Has God spoken this to me before? Most definitely. Unfortunately I can be like a car out of alignment sometimes and start to drift off course. That's when I need a gentle smack on the head tug on my wheel to get me back on track. So thankful for those smacks!

Lord, Change me on the inside!