Testimony Tuesday - Serving in Missions

From Joanne Reddell:

For years I have wanted to go on a mission trip to deliver Christmas gifts to orphans.  God knew that there was a strong desire in my heart for this type of mission.  In Fall 2010, an announcement was made at church about a 3 day mission to Palomas Mexico to deliver Christmas gifts at Casa de Amor Orphanage.

WOW!  I was so excited!  I signed up right away and traveled with a team of 22 people Dec 10-12, 2010.  I didn't know what to expect so I just trusted God as I stepped out of my comfort zone.  The trip was amazing!  I fell in love with the children and workers at the orphanage and the people of the small town of Palomas.  It was such a joy to serve all of them and I was surprised by how blessed I was by the love and gratitude our team was shown by everyone we met and ministered to.

I was so impacted by this short term mission that I have returned to serve in Palomas Mexico 13 times since that first trip in December 2010!  A few months after my first trip, I knew that God wanted me to become even more involved with the Mexico ministry.  I began to help with various administrative aspects of the ministry like organizing the trips and recruiting team members for each mission.  I've even been the team leader for a few of the trips.

Through my serving with this ministry, I have been blessed in so many ways.  I've met new people, both here and in Mexico, and I've made new friends.  I've been able to use my God-given organizational and administrative gifts.  My Spanish skills have improved.  It's been such a blessing to minister to families who have so little.  Suffice it to say, it's been a joy to serve in this ministry!

Testimony Tuesday - Full-time Missionary

Let me start with how I was apparently stubborn about being obedient in this.  I felt it was my turn to share my testimony with you all the last week in May... I ignored God, and never emailed it.  I chose to believe lies, such as, what God has been teaching me isn't significant enough, I am only a 26 year old new mom, and have only been married 6 years, nothing I am learning will benefit women at church, I'm new to this and they probably have it all figure out.  You know what happened?  Jill emailed everyone on Tuesday that week, and no one had submitted a testimony to be share.  I distinctly felt like God said... "that was your spot, you were disobedient".  So I planned on doing it for last week (June 2nd) on the Monday night I realized with traveling and everything I never wrote it, we were watching tv, and I thought I should go do it now, then decided I'd do it later.  I forgot.... So here I am writing it now for next week!  I share this piece to encourage you if you feel compelled don't believe the lie!  SHARE!!! :) 

So my recent story of what God has been teaching me, more like walking me through begins in April.  In April I went to a conference, and had no idea what to expect when I arrived there.  I felt in my spirit that it was going to be a life altering type conference for me and this made me hesitant to want to go.  Let me tell you it was and I am glad I went!  However, it was not life altering in anyway I would normally expect at a conference, it wasn't because of one awesome speaker (though there were many), or an overpowering amazing worship service (worship was good too), it was because I got time for the first time in a long time away from my daily responsibilities to focus on Jesus, my first love.  I got time with him like I grew up loving, just me and Him.  It was also because I got to spend uninterupted time with some amazing women, few that I love and call family/accountability group, few that I know a little less closely, and some I met there at the conference.  Relationships with other women that are lifegiving are a powerful powerful tool in our lives. :) 

All weekend I waited for our final call to sell our house when I get back to Durango and moved across the globe.  I just knew that was what was going to happen and was nervous about how I would convince my husband that this was God's plan for our lives now.  Instead what happened blew my away. :)  He called me to stay.  I cried all weekend as my heart broke, and longed to just go. I sobbed as I felt like I was watching childhood dreams finally drift off into the land of not yet. (maybe all those tears were me mourning what I had set my dream on as a kid)  

Instead, God showed me his plan for me right here... which I have felt fully confident in since we bought our house two years ago.  We are not called at this moment to the unreached people on the other side of the globe right now.  God has called us here right now... here to "Trust in The Lord and do good; Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness.  Delight yourself (myself) in The Lord; and He will give you (me) the desires of your (my) heart." Psalm 37:3-6  So at the end of the weekend, I decided to go talk to this missionary lady I had wanted to avoid all weekend because it hurt to think of where I could be right now, and how God was denying me my ministry.... I know crazy right? 

I shared my story with her, and we prayed.  She spoke one thing over me that has resonated with me ever since the conference.  That was that I was full time. I have always wanted to be a full time missionary, my heart has been anywhere in the world.  Doing what I am doing right now, being a mom, a fourth grade teacher, a Sunday school teacher, a wife, and opening up my home as a refuge, a safe place for people to be who they are, and rest.  This matters.  I came home with a new purpose and passion to keeping house, to caring for Amirah, to looking for ways to care for others.  This, where I am at, is my ministry.  This is God's plan for me.  This is His best for me right now.  How blessed am I, that His plan for me is serving Him by opening my home to others, serving in my church, teaching fourth grade and taking care of my family! 

Ok lastly, I know that sounded like the end... but I have just a little more to share.  With opening up my home making it a safe place.  I am reading Bread and Wine by Shauna Niequist.  It is great.  God is teaching me more about the importance of opening up my home and inviting people to share meals with my family through this book.  What an exciting season! :)  Yes, I am young, yes, I am a new mom, and yes I haven't been married for even a decade yet, and God is willing to use me!  I am enough for Him, He loves my willing heart, and the most important reminder I have clung to these last few months is that He is good, and He is trustworthy.  Even when I don't feel like He is, even when I don't feel I can trust Him, even when I feel like He has taken dreams I have away from me.  He hasn't his plan is better and He is good, and He is trustworthy.  Hope this is encouraging for you. :) 

Kayle Hardrick 

Testimony Tuesday - Relationships

This is a beautiful testimony from a woman who was willing to just allow the Holy Spirit minister to her in her relationship with her husband.  I'm so grateful that she was willing to share this with us all, as I believe each of us struggle very similarly, if not with our husband, then with many other different relationships.  Grace is a beautiful thing! 

***

My journal entry on Monday, April 7
"Lord, I feel better about my husband today.  I still would like to see him put positive, healthy effort into our current situation.  Speak to me now Lord and tell me what You want me to do."

His response:
"My assignment for you hasn't changed.  I continue to ask you to treat your husband with love, respect & kindness in spite of how he treats you or speaks to you.  Forgive him continually!  Every tone, word, expression, disrespectful behavior & interaction.  Overlook his flaws/faults in forgiveness, don't ignore them in frustration.  By overlooking them, you are extending grace to him and I want you to do that more and more.

Jill's talk on Saturday was for you.  Grace is a wonderful, powerful thing and I want you to walk in grace, live in grace, be present in grace more and more.  My assignments to you can be summed up in one word - GRACE!  I know every detail of your marriage and every desire of your heart for your husband and marriage.  I know all of it!  I am working overtime in all of it.

I want you to practice grace.  I want it to become part of your daily life.  I want you to learn to walk in grace in every area of your life.  I know your struggles & I know that walking in grace is a big thing.  Remember that I am always with you to help you.  Look to My Holy Spirit for daily, hourly help, strength, courage.  We are all for you and We will never let you down.

Now is the time for you to live and walk in grace.  I know you've been struggling for years with relationships and inner struggles.  Walking in grace will help with all those lifelong struggles.  Trust Me.  Remember often Dt. 31:8 'The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you.  He will never leave you or forsake you.  Do not be discouraged.  Do not be afraid.'  Remind yourself of this as often as you need to.

I love you more than you can comprehend.  I have so many wonderful plans for you.  But first you must deal with this issue of grace.  Trust Me in all of this.  I will not disappoint you.  I will lift you up and encourage you.  I will bring about your desire to be transformed.  I love that you are seeking Me in 2014.  Keep drawing near to Me and I will bless you in ways you never imagined.  I love you - you are My precious daughter!"

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After receiving this from the Lord, I was crying and confessed/repented to the Lord for some of my recent behavior and attitudes.  I then felt that God was leading me to ask for my husband's forgiveness, which I did.  And, needless to say, after seeking his forgiveness, I was filled with peace.

Testimony Tuesday

I received this the day after I sent out an email to the women in our church.  The topic was joy.  I asked if I could share this great testimony! 

Hi Jill,

Your message yesterday was just for me!  What's funny was that I had the experience of deciding to choose joy over negativity just before I received your email!  Here's what happened:

The majority of my income comes from the monthly payments I receive acting as the bank for a commercial building I sold.  Unfortunately, the man who bought the building is not the most faithful payer.  Once again, the man didn't pay this month.  He was, in fact, over three weeks late with his payment.  I was starting to fret, worry, even wonder if it was time for me to get a lawyer.  I left the man a rather impassioned phone message.  But as he had never ever bothered to call me in the four years I've been dealing with him, I expected nothing from him.

To help me work out my aggressiveness, I went outside to pull dandelions.  As I worked, I realized that my "salvation" did not come from this man.  I re-ran some verses in my mind about how God would never leave or forsake me, about how He knows everything and has a plan for me.  Then I started praying for the situation; I even prayed for the man and his own personal situation.  I decided that I could confidently leave the whole thing in God's hands and I was covered with His peace.

After an hour I went back inside.  A few minutes later, the phone rang.  It was the man!  Though he still gave me a big run-around concerning why he hadn't paid, etc. etc, he said that the payment had just been sent to the title company to be forwarded to me!

God came through for me and I can only praise The Lord for His intervention!  I chose His joy by committing my situation to Him and in His mercy, he chose to act immediately on my behalf!

Thank You, Lord!

Testimony Tuesday -- Casting Down Idols

From Esther Belin:

 

I have lived in the Durango community for 17 years and it is now my home. However calling this area my home has taken about 8 years.  I moved to this area from Santa Fe with my husband and two young children.  It wasn’t until a couple of weeks that I realized that I moved here with many selfish desires and expectations.  I came with my own agenda, my own plan to true fulfillment. Part of that plan included living the Durango dream – owning a half-million dollar home, being the perfect public school volunteer, securing a leisure, well-paying job.  I know now that I started building this high place of pride/expectation/comfort/covetousness ever since I was a little girl.  Durango just happened to be the place that everything came together – I was married with children – so the next step (in my mind) was to cash in the idol I had been so faithfully building and worshiping.  

Needless to say, I carried this high place to each home we lived in – placing it in a prominent area – careful not to damage it with each move.  We are now in our 5^th location.  With God’s grace, we were able to buy a home 3 years ago.  When we bought this home and land, I dedicated it to the Lord – continually asking Him to use it for His glory.  Since then, I have been tested.  We’ve had problems with our well the first two years, then last spring I lost my job.  The enemy was feeding me lies that God gave us the wrong house, the wrong location, wrong everything.  I realize now that I have been prolonging God’s blessing by my disobedience.  About 2 weeks ago while baking, I ended up shattering a baking dish that symbolically represented my high places.  That baking dish was quality glass and ornately crafted – representing all the luxury and comfort I believed I deserved, and when it shattered, there was such an amazing grief that overcame me.  Such an immediate emotional drain hovered over me that I verbally told God to tell me what this shattering meant.  

At the time, I had been studying about the Israelites and their 40 years in the wilderness.  And I knew instantly that God allowed that treasured dish (my high places) to shatter so completely that there was no way I could rebuild – and there was no way that I would longingly gaze at my Promised Land for 38 years!  God was telling me loud and clear that He is waiting for me to live the abundant life HE has planned for me. God was telling me that this journey through the wilderness is to test my faith, that He will provide, that He will protect (defend), that HE wants me to follow him, that He is waiting for me to live in belief of HIS promises.  

That day I grieved.  I grieved that I wasted so much time/energy on building my high places.  I grieved that I displeased God, that so much of my life here in Durango was built around this idol.  That day I committed to grieve in God’s presence – to be near His holy mountain – to rest in His salvation – to finally be in the comfort of HIS refuge.

Deuteronomy 12:2

You shall utterly destroy all the places where the nations whom you shall dispossess serve their gods, on the high mountains and on the hills and under every green tree.

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Throwback Thursday - Disciplined Life

God is challenging Mark and I to lead a more disciplined life. A structured life in order to accomplish more, stay focused on His Kingdom assignments and not feel stressed. Last year we just existed. We did what we could when we could. Life happened to us-we did not happen to life. It was very frustrating.

So this year The Lord has led us to 4 areas each, to focus on. To schedule times to focus on them, to be disciplined in following the schedule and to then be successful in accomplishing our Kingdom assignments. 

It's not easy though to be disciplined. Our natural, depraved nature would like to sit back and let things just happen. What I have realized though, is that whatever we decide to not be intentional about, the enemy would gladly be in charge of. Whether its our relationship with God (church/quiet times/prayer), our marriages, our children, our jobs, our homes, our finances, food (weight issues), our friendships, our ministries, rest...it can be exhausting trying to be intentional about all those things. But that is where God wants us. Not exhausted but dependent on Him! 

We are in a battle. A battle to stay on the narrow road of Christ. There is an enemy that is working hard to distract us. I picture driving down a highway going pretty fast (the speed limit of course!) on a trip and its windy. Very windy. It's difficult to keep the car in the road where there are gusts of wind blowing strongly from left to right across the car. It's actually happened to me many times on trips to Denver. I have to grip the wheel, focus on what's ahead (my goal), not be distracted by the shaking car. It can be tiring!

Making sure that the house is kept up, homeschool gets accomplished, dinner gets made, laundry gets done, the husband gets my attention (good and positive, not grumbling or complaining), women's ministry gets planned (bible studies, retreats, breakfasts), exercise is accomplished, eating well happens that day, quiet times are enjoyed, and fun happens is tiring! Especially if the wind (my laziness, tiredness or ability to get distracted with blogging or Facebook or Pinterest...) is howling that day. Staying on the road is hard. But it's worth it. I will arrive at my goal and see all that has been accomplished! And accomplished well! 

If we just drove and drove and drove without rest we're likely to give up out of sheer exhaustion. That's why God wants us to be intentional about rest. So we will push through the challenges knowing that rest is coming soon. We need a day of rest every week. We need periodic vacations that are about spending time as a family away from normal responsibilities. Times to quiet our minds and bodies. To prepare for the next part of the drive. 

Stay on the path set before us. Be disciplined and self-controlled. 

Proverbs 1:2-3

  For attaining wisdom and discipline; for understanding words of insight; for acquiring a disciplined and prudent life, doing what is right, just and fair. 

Proverbs 1:7

   The fear of The Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline. (This discipline refers to punishment but I think it's appropriate for self-control discipline as well.)

Proverbs 5:23

   He will does for lack of discipline led astray by his own folly.

Testimony Tuesday - He's in the Adventure!

From Susan Williams:
 
About 6 months ago I started a crazy journey, one that has been somewhat uncomfortable, unconventional, and really fun.  This journey has brought me new friends, new perspectives,  and caused me to  develop a greater identity of myself and a stronger relationship with Christ.  Let me tell you about it.  

Within a two week span last August, my job changed dramatically, my apartment sold, and a relationship that I had been a part of for three years ended.  It was overwhelming to say the least.  In those weeks I was faced with several big decisions.  I didn't feel ready to make a commitment in a lease, and although I loved my job it had become so consuming that I didn't feel that it was best for me to continue.  I took a few days to let all the changes sink in, and came up with what I called the "45 day plan."  I would resign from my position, I would move my things into storage, and I would spend the next few months visiting family and friends around the country in a pursuit to visit all 50 states.  It was one of the biggest leaps of faith that I think I have ever taken.  

October 1st came too fast, and reluctantly I said goodbye to a place that I loved.  I drove home with my parents and spent a few weeks in a beautiful new room that they had created for me.  It meant so much for me to have a place to land.  In the 6 months that stood between then and now,  I have visited 42 states, driven over 15,000 miles, met an incredible amount of new friends, and learned more lessons that I could possibly count.  

After departing Durango, I quickly came to realize that the three things that I had left were the three things that I found my comfort in.  Without a relationship, an income, my belongs, or my beautiful home, I first felt very lost.  In most conversations, people would question where I was living, where I was working, and if I had a significant other.  After I would answer that I was roaming, unemployed, and single, most individuals  ran out of things to talk about and thankfully the awkward  conversations would be over.  It was really humbling to say that I didn't have a concrete plan, but instead could only offer a crazy idea.  Through having countless "conversations" that all asked the same questions and ended the same way, I was reminded of how so many of us find our identity in where we live, what we do, and who we are with.  Makes sense, right?  But what happens when you none of that?

I was challenged to reevaluate where I found my comfort, my identity, and my purpose.  It seemed that because I didn't fit in any box, and that I had allowed the opinions of others  (or my perceived opinions that others had) determine how I viewed myself... something that is completely normal, and often unquestioned.   In fact, Sociologist, Charles Hortley, calls this idea the "Looking Glass Self" and explains that "the degree of personal insecurity you display in social situations is determined by what you believe other people think of you."  I could no longer tell people that I was a fundraiser, a professional, a girlfriend, or even a resident of a particular area.  And to people who didn't understand, it felt as if they viewed my circumstances as failure.  It felt easier to visit places where no one knew me, or asked all the questions that I didn't have good answers for.  I had allowed others to tell me who they thought I was, instead of hearing from the one who knew what He created me to be.  

Reading in Mark one day, I came across the passage where Jesus asks Peter, "who do you say that I am?" As I read that verse, I was challenged to think who I would say that Jesus was in my life.  Who had I let him become, and what had I not let Him become to me?  What Truths were I believing about Him, and what Truths had I not accepted?   I knew that he should be my strength, my hope... and my everything.  There was a huge part of me that wanted to believe this and find rest in it, but to be completely honest there was a part of me who struggled to trust Him.  What if he didn't have my best interest at heart?  What if He asked something that was scary?  As I began to seek what Scripture said about who He was, I began to ask Him the same question in return, "Who did He say I was?"

I started two lists in my journal several weeks ago now, and I love looking over each of them.  The first list uses Jesus' question, "Who Do You Say That I Am?"  Below are filled with Truth of who my Savior is.  He is  "Healer, Restorer, Redeemer" (Isaiah 61:1-4).  He is Trustworthy (Psalms 37:5).  He is "The Light that overcomes darkness" (John 1:5).  He is the giver of joy, peace, and hope (Romans 15:13).  He is my helper and is security from fear (Hebrews 13:6).  He will never leave or forsake me (Hebrews 13:5).  He is enough (Psalms 90:14).  He is our strength, and is able to do more than we might ask or think (Ephesians 3:16-20).  He  is our deliverer and helper.  He is merciful and faithful (Hebrews 2:14-18).  The list goes on, and daily I learning more about His unchanging character.

At the top of the second page, I have written "My name is Susan, I am."  I have filled this page with the Truth of my identity in Christ.  I am a "friend of God, and invited to share His work" (John 15:15).  I am "holy, chosen, and dearly loved" (Colossians 3:12).  I am anointed to proclaim the Lord's promises (Luke 4:18-19).  I am made new (1 Corinthians 5:17).  I am free (Romans 6:7).  I am "never out of reach or separated from the love of Christ" (Romans 8:38).  I am made in his image (Genesis 1:27).   I am "Christ's workmanship, created to do good works" (Ephesians 2:13).  I am "fearfully and wonderfully made" (Psalms 139:14).  I am a child and heir of God (Romans 8:12-17).

Each time I open The Word, I have something to add to my list as I am constantly learning more about an identity and a relationship that will never change.  I long for an identity that is solid and unchanging, Joy that extends far beyond negative circumstances.  Peace that cannot be shaken, Faith that doesn't make sense, and Praise that doesn't end.  My journey is far from over, but I am confident that as I seek God, He will continue to transform my life as I become a greater reflection of Him and who he has created me to be.