The other day as I was reading in Ephesians, the thought
struck me that this small letter was the only written information the burgeoning
church in Ephesus had. One little scroll of truth was to be passed among the believers
directing their journey in their new life with Christ. It wasn’t that I had never
been told this, but the “ah-hah” caused me to stop and ponder.
One small letter, containing small prayers, tiny phrases and
praises of truth, written by an imprisoned individual, guided by a still small Voice.
And with that scant information individuals and families, as well as the church
itself, flourished and grew. In fact, one source credits the Ephesians church
with playing “a significant role in the spread of early Christianity.”
But to complicate, during that time, the city of Ephesus was
one of the largest cities in the world; a huge metropolitan civilization in western
Asia Minor teeming with multiple religions, politics and commerce. And to
better appreciate the power in all “the small”, Ephesus was also the site of
one of the Seven Wonders of the World: the Artemision – the worship temple of
the Greek goddess Artemis.
Interesting. One small Holy Spirit inspired scroll, written
from a prison cell, sent to a remnant of new believers enveloped in an imposing
pagan metropolis. And by allowing a snippet of truth to permeate them, this tiny band of believers greatly assisted in the increase of the gospel Jesus Christ.
I wonder what would happen if a remnant of believers in a not-so-big-mountain-town
in southwestern Colorado allowed the same small letter, with the same small
prayers, tiny phrases and praises of truth to infiltrate their lives. Would
that be enough for the eternal Holy Spirit to affect great change in and
through them?
you have two choices: Regret or Redemption" ~ The Hospital Mom
On January 27, 1999 the unthinkable became our reality. Our pink and precious daughter of 6 months suffered a massive mid-cerebral arterial stroke. The main artery between her spine and her brain had become blocked from a blood clot at the juncture where it splits into the left and right hemispheres. Worldwide, 1 in 25,000 live births will suffer a stroke each year.
The years that have followed have been tumultuous. Doctors, therapies, drug studies, seizures, and surgeries. There are times where I felt I have earned doctoral degrees in Physical Therapy, Occupational Therapy, Pharmacology, Neurology, Developmental Pediatrics and Child Psychology from the Mother's Medical Institute.
At any moment I can walk into an emergency room and speak in medical terms with any nurse, doctor or specialist. Pity the poor nurse who argued with me that my child could not possibly have suffered a stroke. "Children do not have strokes," she said with condescending authority.
Ashley was having seizures and I walked into the emergency room in Tulsa, Oklahoma telling the medical team what she needed. I had been on the phone with her neurologist and we agreed I could transport her to the hospital quicker than an ambulance could find me - plus I was already in the car and on my way - and he would meet me there.
My dad met us at the hospital and while he entertained my 25 month old daughter, I politely asked the nurse to step outside the room. "Never tell a parent in front of a child that they are making up a diagnosis, especially one this horrid," I said with the indignation of a mom who was living the unimaginable. The nurse continued to argue with me as the doctor approached and I told her to go pull up the MRI and CT scans from the past 2 years. "I will," she assured me and stomped off, hands on her hips. And she did. The neurologist arrived, treatment began and later, he brought a very apologetic nurse into the room and assured her that infants do indeed have strokes.
That night I realized that parents must be advocates for their children. As the years passed, I learned most parents are so intimated by the medical process, hospital personnel and are simply overwhelmed by their situation that they are afraid to speak up. They will accept whatever is told them and not ask questions, advocate for help or seek solutions for their children.
I have worked with families in numerous settings - adult education centers, as a parent advocate in schools, at church and as a chaplain. The redemption of Ashley's story is in sharing the wisdom, education and experiences we have gained in this struggle. Parents of chronically medically challenged children are more likely to divorce, have extra-marital affairs and battle addictions. As their world centers around their children, hospitals and the medical world, they withdraw into themselves and face depression while living in a constant state of regret - the "would of, could of, should of" state of mind.
Our purpose is simple:
To provide Hope and Humor to Families of Chronically Medically Challenged Children.
Answering Emails of Hurting Families at Kim@hospitalmom.net
H.O.P.E. Delivery Bags for Caregivers at Hospitals
Currently, I am writing a book to bring Hope to Families. The following is an excerpt from "Beautifully Complicated," the story of redeeming the hurt in our lives in order "to Know HIM and Make HIM Known."
from BEAUTIFULLY COMPLICATED
“This is my Father’s World
and to my listening ears
All nature sings and ‘round me rings
The beauty of the sphere.”
Eighteen years ago I first sang this song to my infant baby girl. Born early - eager to change our world. Born tiny - proving size does not matter. Born the baby sister - her brother in love with her before she was before. Born a surprise - her daddy named her the moment he saw the positive pregnancy test.
“This is my Father’s World
I rest me in the thought
Of rocks and trees; of skies and seas
His hand the wonders wrought.”
Fifteen times I have laid her on an operating table and sang those words in her ear as she drifted to sleep. Sometimes easily. Sometimes fearfully, gripping my hand. Sometimes I have had tears in own voice and many times, I have sang to a room full of surgeons and technicians who came to the operating theater because they had heard of this family who sang before surgery and wanted to experience the peace that is in the room.
Three times I have sang this hymn in the surgery waiting room because that facility did not allow me to accompany her into the operating room.
Eighteen surgeries.
Thousands of miles driven in rain, snow, sunshine and shadow.
Months our family has lived apart - separated by 8 hours and the Rocky Mountains.
Dozens of professionals. Hundreds of medications. Thousands of phone calls to doctors. Ten Thousands of hours in research by specialists and parents.
Millions of prayers raised by family, friends and even strangers.
This indeed is My Father's World. The Unthinkable will happen because this world is in a fallen state where the sin of mankind has brought heartache. Yet God redeems the pain of our fallen state to help each other. When we help each other that pain becomes bearable, even manageable as we allow Him to reveal His glory as we live other lives for others.
“This is my Father's world.
O let me ne'er forget
that though the wrong seems oft so strong,
God is the ruler yet.
This is my Father's world:
why should my heart be sad?
The Lord is King; let the heavens ring!
God reigns; let the earth be glad!”
Are you living the Unthinkable?
Where you never dreamed you would be?
Are you living in Regret - depressed, lonely, self-pity - or in Redemption?
As you listen to the song below, go to God in Prayer and
Last week I shared about peace with God and peace within. Click HERE to catch up.
Third is peace with others. Peace with otherscan only come after we have done the first two. It comes when we shift our focus from others - in comparison and judgement - to God. Imagine looking straight up to the ceiling. How much can you see around you? Not much. Your focus is on the ceiling and not on anything else. If we want to know what's going on around us we need to ask questions of the One Who can see clearly.
When we look at others we interpret their actions and motives through our own filter. But when we look to God we can ask Him about their actions and motives. He can tell us what we need to know and how we can help. I'm not saying don't see people, I am saying don't filter what you see through your own eyes. Filter it through His. It's a beautiful, peaceful difference.
In all of this the inevitable result of the Prince of Peace's coming is conflict. Jesus said in Matthew 10:6,
"Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace but a sword."
It seems to contradict but it doesn't. He didn't come to bring peace as the world expects. He's bringing Shalom - the fullness of life enjoyed in complete security.
And the enemy hates it. The Prince of Peace interrupts the enemy's plan and he will not give up easily. Therefore there is conflict between Christ and Satan, light and darkness...
Satan comes to destroy peace with God, peace within and peace with others. In the garden he said to Eve "Did God really say?" (peace with God), "Surely you won't die" (peace within), and when God asked Adam and Eve what happened they responded with "She gave it to me" "The serpent said..." (peace with others). He presents us with a false peace, one without struggle or strife, one where we can have things our way. It's a lie.
Jesus came to disrupt the false peace and bring real, authentic peace. He says in John 16:33,
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
He knew that real peace didn't come from the world but in relationship with Him - the One Who overcame it.
It's a peace that says I am secure even in the midst of _________ (fear, disappointment, confusion...).
Jesus faced the cross for us, not with fear and doubt, but with peaceful courage. He surrendered His will in the garden of Gethsemane and showed us that it can be done. He walked the hill of Calvary while being mocked and spat upon and some of His final words were forgive them. He is the example and embodiment of the Peace of God that surpasses all understanding.
Peace on Earth can be experienced with the Prince of Peace. Won't you let Him show you how?
"For a child is born to us, a son is given to us. The government will rest on his shoulders. And he will be called: Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace." Isaiah 9:6
Peace seems like a fairy tale. Especially when you turn on the news and read about the violence against all of humanity, all over the world.
But then I turn on Christmas music and quickly I hear "peace on earth, goodwill to men." What is it about Christmas that makes us think of peace? I believe it's because the Prince of Peace came to earth and because of that, peace is truly possible. In America the term peace is clearly connected with the
absence of war. But the Bible describes peace (Shalom) as more than the
absence of conflict - it is the fullness of life enjoyed in complete
security.
I want that! Is that even possible? Peace on earth? How can we experience the peace of God while living in this world full of war?
First off, it's impossible to have the Peace of God without first having peace with God. At the beginning of the world, peace with God was broken in the Garden of Eden. BUT with the coming of the Messiah, Immanuel (God with us), his life, death and resurrection paid the way for us to be reconciled with God again. We can have peace with God because of Jesus.
The world's peace - what it is trying to sell us - depends on other's behavior. I can say from experience that when my peace depends on how others behave I am always disappointed. We are all selfish creatures and can often have the attitude of "when others agree with me or do what I want, things will be better". Yeah. That's not gonna work. God's peace depends on Him. He is faithful. So if we are reconciled to Him - have peace with Him, we are one huge step closer to the peace of God invading our lives.
Second is peace within. This is possible when we stop fighting for control of our lives and circumstances and surrender to God. When we trust His plans for us. When we lay ourselves down so that He may be glorified in us. When we put aside our plans for His (something Mary and Joseph did!). Peace is a fruit of the Spirit and this means that we can't manufacture real, authentic peace without Him. We can have the illusion of peace from the outside but on the inside we are tied up in knots trying to make sure that people and circumstances continue to look and behave how we think they should. What a mess! Surrender seems scary but it is freedom and peace.
'Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day.” II Corinthians 4:6 “I would have despaired unless I had believed I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." Psalm 27:13
My heart is rent for those who grieve for a lost spouse, for lost health, for a lost dream. It aches for those who grasp for healing and find no present cure, Who hunger for relief in spirit or body while the earth still spins, Who mourn what cannot be recovered. And yet, I ponder this: Those that have lost know more clearly what really matters. Those who cry deeply for their loved ones still celebrate their joy in heaven. Those in pain yet hold on to the hope of their calling by the heavenly Artist. I question why some awaken to deep pain in the night, How shadows steal rest or joy until they see morning light, How life is taken unfairly by tongs of the unknown or evil. And yet, I ponder this: Those who know the Artist know He uses dark and light colors to accentuate truth, That melded colors of shadow and light blend together for good, That there is still hope for the future and meaning in the present. I consider how the body ages despite the care one might take. I ruminate on the “what ifs” of having had more time for a more balanced life. I contemplate how life is bound to the clock marching forward.
And yet, I ponder this: That the heart and spirit can be renewed while bones lose density and skin wrinkles. That time is both chronos and kairos, That we can be lost in moments of joy when time does not beat nor the body decay. I reflect on unanswered questions, unfilled potential and hearts longing to soar, I contemplate how some still hope while others despair. I ponder the mystery of faith, those who glimpse that which can’t be seen, Of those who still seek melody in the midst of a dissonant world.
And I rejoice as I ponder this: That we can rise as eagles when we rest in the brush strokes of the Artist, That there is truth in paradox: we grow in the dark and in dying we live. And that those who sing to the celestial Artist harmonize to an eternal beat.
The other day, I had a hard and messy conversation with an
individual regarding their dissatisfaction with the church, and what they felt
was wrong with it. The truth is I was hurt and very frustrated, as this wasn’t
the first time I’d been approached with the same thing. However, after I allowed myself the shabby process of
sorting out my raw emotions with God and my husband, the Lord reminded of II
Corinthians 5:17-21:
“Therefore,
if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away;
behold, all things have become new. Now all things are of God, who has
reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ, and has given us the ministry of
reconciliation, that is, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to
Himself, not imputing their trespasses to them, and has committed to us the
word of reconciliation. Now then, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God
were pleading through us: we implore you on Christ’s behalf, be reconciled to
God. For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the
righteousness of God in Him.”
I realized if things
were the way He intended in the beginning, there would be no need for our
administrating reconciliation. For when things are reconciled, they are
back to the way they were created to be.
When Christ was here He waded through enormous dysfunction
with people’s perceptions of what He needed to do to make things right – in the
synagogues; with the Pharisees and crowds; with the twelve men He hand-picked
to journey with Him; even with his mother and siblings. And though
Scripture doesn’t give much detail about His childhood, I can’t help but think
there was a lot of muddling He had to endure just being a kid and teenager.
We want things to be neat and tidy; to be okay. And more times
than not, I think that means, the way I
want them to be. We hate the groaning our spirits, bodies and souls experience
when we perceive things are not the way they’re supposed to be. And the last
thing we want to do is stick around and engage in the hard work of restoration.
Several years ago, a wise young man said to me, “Relationships are messy, and no one wants
to get involved in them.” He was right. It’s obvious. When things don’t go
the way we want, our first reaction is to bail…. don’t stick around and muddle
through the mess and confusing in-betweens. It hurts. It’s hard. We have no
promise that we’re going to see resolution. And what’s worse, we have no control
over the outcome, let alone another’s choice.
I completely understand. I’ve bailed more times than I care
to admit. I’ve thrown my hands up in frustration umpteen times, “knowing” for certain
things are never going to change. But if that is true, then this passage of
Scripture isn’t. So today, I am actually thankful for the individual
approaching me. For although the issue was not resolved, I now see I was presented with another opportunity to
use my “ambassador muscles.” God, and this person, trusted me with part of the messy process
of bringing a piece of reconciliation to this beautiful, broken and messy
world. And I am glad I chose to engage in it.
But to complicate, during that time, the city of Ephesus was
one of the largest cities in the world; a huge metropolitan civilization in western
Asia Minor teeming with multiple religions, politics and commerce. And to
better appreciate the power in all “the small”, Ephesus was also the site of
one of the Seven Wonders of the World: the Artemision – the worship temple of
the Greek goddess Artemis.
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