Relax. He Knows.

By Jill Palmer 

A while back I was homeschooling my oldest and we were working on math. He's always been good at math and has understood it very quickly. While that's great, it has also presented a problem. He's now getting into a kind of math that isn't as easy to understand right away. I believe he will eventually get it and do well, but it will take a little more practice and time. I see his skills and believe in his ability to excel in this.

As we were sitting together going over the problems he had gotten wrong, he was overwhelmed with how many he had messed up. He reacted so strongly to this disappointment in himself that it kind of caught me off guard. I wasn't upset at all that he'd gotten some wrong, nor did I have the expectation - spoken or unspoken - that he shouldn't have any trouble at all.

In fact, I was the opposite. I knew it was difficult and would take some practice to understand. It would also take patience and persistence - as well as good handwriting :) I was fully prepared to be going over many problems with him.

Somehow he didn't believe me though. He was still thinking he should've gotten everything right on the first try. Eventually there were tears and storming off. And I just stared after him in awe, wondering what had just happened.

While I stood there, jaw dropped, I felt the Lord say to me, "Does this seem familiar to you at all?"

As I thought about it it was absolutely familiar. My son was acting like me. And I was feeling how God feels. Boom.

How often has God given me an assignment, a calling, and because I didn't get it right away or succeed in the way I thought I should have been able to, I've stomped off in frustration with disappointment all over my face? Too many times I'm afraid.

And I feel like God has quietly stood watching, thinking "I know she can do this. I know it will be hard but I believe in her ability to accomplish this. It will take some hard work and some perseverance but I know she will excel. Why does she think she has to be perfect right away? I've never condemned her for her set backs, never yelled at her failings. I've only encouraged and trained. Why doesn't she believe me? I am fully prepared to walk through this with her and help her along the way."

I am blown away at how God takes a situation with one of my children and overwhelms me with His heart, His love, His tender kindness towards me. In a way that I can totally relate. He's so patient with me, His often-stubborn, doubting, smart, capable daughter.