We All Break the Same

By Megan Danquah

The title of this post is borrowed from one of my favorite songs by a band called Mute Math: We All Break the Same. I was reading through my Facebook feed this morning and was struck by three different friends of mine who are currently battling the most difficult situations of their lives. Death, divorce, betrayal, crisis. They are words that some of us are afraid of and that hit close to home for others.  

Two years ago, I went through my own crisis. It involved my husband and I, the ministry we were involved in and it was messy. And my life felt like it was shattered. Everything that I held dear was stripped away.

Over the course of time, living through emotional devastation and embracing the deep pain that it caused, allowed me to come into personal contact with my own brokenness. No longer was that brokenness something that I hid away for the world never to know about. No longer was it something that I pushed down with all my might, trying day after tiring day to keep far away from affecting me. No longer did I ignore and suppress that brokenness. Instead, I allowed myself to become acquainted with it, familiarizing myself with its breadth and depth and height and length. I began to live out my right as a human being, my right and dignity to FEEL all that was within me.  

Eventually, my brokenness became familiar to me. And just like it is with anything that we were once afraid of because we didn’t know or understand it, the more I got to “know” my brokenness, the more I found beauty and grace in it. I began to love myself because I wasn’t rejecting this huge part of me that was festering under the surface. Now I began to embrace my brokenness, call it beautiful and love myself with it and in it.

The truth is, we will never not be broken on this side of heaven. None of us have escaped wounds and hurts that have shaped us and have bequeathed us with lots of baggage. We walk through this life broken because we are descended from the original broken ones: Adam and Eve. Sometimes life will feel like grief upon grief, but the key lies in not rejecting that.

God once spoke to me in the midst of a silent, pain-filled sob where my gut felt like it was turning in on itself in pain. He said “It is just pain. It won’t kill you.” I held onto that with all my might. Now I understand that pain and brokenness are a companion that I walk with. They will always be with me and I need not try to send them away or ignore them. As a matter of fact, when I embrace them and allow myself the grace to feel them deeply, the joy in my life bursts forth with greater hues than I have ever noticed before. Yes, the dark is dark, but oh the glorious light is light!! We simply cannot numb one area of our lives without numbing them all.

What I find fascinating is that these feelings of brokenness come and go. They don’t stay forever. Sometimes brokenness wants to talk to us and sometimes she just walks with us silently. And you know where that points to, right? Straight back to the goodness of God! We will not be left to live every day with a miserable grief. It will come and it will go. And our sweet and kind Father gave us a promise: that our light will shine forth like the dawn; that we will rise up on wings like eagles!

Remember, dear lady, that we all break the same. No human is exempt. All experience the sting of that death that entered in the Garden of Eden long ago. Allow it to draw you closer to your humanity. Allow it to forge deep bonds between you and others. I promise you, the joy of living FULLY is encompassed by both the joys and the sorrows of life, and you will be the better for it.