Testimony Tuesday - Jehovah Rapha!

---I would like to set aside Tuesdays as the day we testify to God's work in our lives.  I say we because I have asked women at the River Church to share what God is doing in their lives and families.  These are their stories!  "They defeated him [the accuser] through the blood of the Lamb and the bold word of their witness." Revelations 12:11 (MSG)---
 
I have been asking God since you started testimonies what He wanted me to
share with everyone.  I feel like our year has been nothing but Mike being
in school.  (I know you know how that feels!)  But I know that God does
more than just one thing at a time.  I have felt stuck for the past year,
and didn't really know what God could want me to share- even though I know
He is always at work.  So I guess sharing about how He has been Jehovah
Rapha to Mike, not once, but FOUR times this year is a good place to start.

My husband Mike is a relatively healthy guy.  If you look at a medical
chart, nothing would really stand out as a serious problem.  But God works
in the seen and unseen, and if you don't believe He is still healing people
today, let me just tell you about our year.

For several years, Mike has had burning sensations in his skin
periodically.  They were never in the same spot, and the feeling never
lasted long.  He had been dealing with some exhaustion and memory fogginess
as well, but had dismissed it as just being one of those people who needs
twelve hours of sleep a night, and getting older.  In March, the burning
sensation became more intense, and pin prick feelings began to bother him
for hours at a time. 

He went to his doctor, who immediately set up a
consultation with a nerve specialist.  The doctor didn't give Mike a
definitive diagnosis, but with Mike's history of working with jet fuel in
the Marines, told him that it was probably a nerve condition caused from
exposure during his service.  The disorder would eventually claim Mike's
entire body, causing him to be wheel chair bound before he turns 50.  It
was a scary prognosis, and Mike went through a low like I have never seen
in him before.  I just prayed for peace, wisdom, and answers.  I
immediately called on my prayer team, and rallied them around us in prayer.


Two days later, Mike was doing his own research about the disorder, and
after much searching, found that nerve damage can be caused by a vitamin
B12 deficiency, such as that caused by long term use of acid re flux
medication.  He had been taking a heartburn medication for almost ten
years.  That day he stopped taking it, bought a B12 supplement, and started
blasting his system with it. 

The next night, Mike had a dream where someone grabbed his hand from behind, and said "I am taking this from you." He woke up in terror, and couldn't shake the feeling all day.  I had a strange peace, and finally asked Mike if he knew the voice in his dream. He has had God-given dreams before where God has spoken to him, so I knew it was a possibility that God had spoken again.  At my question, Mike immediately began to feel peace.  The next night, we put our son to bed and pulled out our Bibles.  The Word says to "pray without ceasing", to "ask, and you shall receive", and to "bring your petitions before the Lord".  So we did.  I pulled out Stormie O'Martin's "Power of a Praying Wife", and
read the section on healing.  A scripture the Lord had given me six months
earlier was quoted in that section, and it immediately resonated in Mike's
spirit.  Isaiah 58:8- "Then shall your light break forth like the dawn, and
your healing shall spring up speedily; your righteousness shall go before
you; the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard."  Rear guard.  The
person in the dream was behind him. 

We went to sleep that night with a peace we hadn't felt in a week.  Two days later, our friends and family of choice gathered with us to pray for his healing.  Mike pulled out his Bible before we left the parking lot, and opened to where Jesus heals Peter's mother.  Scripture says he "took her hand" and she was healed.  Hmm... The next morning, we met with the neurologist.  He could find nothing wrong with Mike.  Taking the B12 has started to repair the damage to his nerves, and his exhaustion and memory loss are gone.

Two months later, Mike got food poisoning.  He is one of those guys who
doesn't get the "man cold", he just wants to sleep and be left alone when
he is sick.  So I didn't notice when he started showing warning signs of
dehydration.  It was when he looked at me with two black eyes that I forced
him to get in the car so I could take him to the ER.  I called my prayer
team again, and coveted each prayer for his safety and healing.  By the
time we got there, he wasn't making any sense when he spoke.  He sucked
down two bags of fluid in less than two hours.  They gave us anti nausea
pills and sent us home.  After taking the pills, he quickly recovered, but
it was quite a scare.

Three months later, he got food poisoning again.  We still had some of the
anti nausea pills, which God brought to my mind, and we narrowly avoided
another ER trip.

This fall, Mike started having severe heartburn and stomach pains.  He took
another trip to the doctor, and was diagnosed with gall stones.  An
ultrasound revealed not just a few stones, but that his gallbladder was
LINED with tiny stones.  My speed dial got another workout as I called in
another prayer strike.  One week later, he had surgery to remove the
gallbladder.  He did very well in surgery, has recovered well, and his
heartburn has almost completely been healed.  That silly organ which caused
his heartburn, which caused his nerve damage, is finally gone.

Now, you can say that common sense, doctors, modern medicine, and Mike's
copious amounts of research is what healed him, but that would be a flat
out lie.  God DOES heal.  He DOES answer prayer.  He IS concerned with our
suffering.  Jehovah Rapha healed Mike, not once, but a miraculous FOUR
times this year.  We choose to see His loving hand in everything we have
faced this year. He IS our sustainer and strength, our fortress, and by HIS
stripes, we are healed.  Praise the Lord with us this Christmas as we look
back at what God has done.  We have overcome by the blood of the Lamb, and
the word of our testimony!

Blessings,
Sarah

Testimony Tuesday - I trust you Jesus

---I would like to set aside Tuesdays as the day we testify to God's work in our lives.  I say we because I have asked women at the River Church to share what God is doing in their lives and families.  These are their stories!  "They defeated him [the accuser] through the blood of the Lamb and the bold word of their witness." Revelations 12:11 (MSG)---

12/10/13
Dear TRC family,
Here is my testimony for the last 4 weeks. 4 weeks ago today our beloved dog Roxy left this world. It is still unbelievable to have to write those words in conjunction together. Being childless, Roxy was our baby. Ryan gave her to me as a gift early on in our relationship. Roxy saw me through a lot of ups and downs over the last almost 3 years. We adored and cherished this amazing little pup. She brought sunshine and joy to our lives on a daily basis and I thanked God for her everyday.

11-12-13 life as we knew and loved came crashing down around us. I live in the country on a seemingly traffic-less road where the speed limit is 15 mph. She was hit by a car just feet from my drive-way. I can't even begin to tell you about the horror that ensued that night and the days and weeks to follow.

Ryan and I just recently got engaged 2 1/2 months prior to this tragedy after being on our 3rd break-up in 3 years and after being apart for 7 months. This fall, life really started turning around for both of us. God started moving in big ways. Financially, spiritually, relationally and emotionally we had a lot to be thankful for and our relationships with the Lord were growing ever stronger. We see this tragedy as an attack by a threatened enemy. A perfect storm to bring us to our knees. Honestly, for me, it did. I have been in a dark place for the last 4 weeks, unable to find comfort in anything or from anyone. God has felt far away and I have been stuck asking the dangerous question "WHY?"

2 days ago after hitting rock bottom I was reading a book by one of my favorite authors about faith and she said something very simple in regards to activating our faith. She said to say "I trust You Jesus". My days and nights have been haunted by thoughts, imagines and such sorrow that I have felt too helpless to really even utter "Help". Once I started declaring that I trust the Lord, even sometimes just in faith, I have instantly been overcome by peace. I am finally able to pick up my sword and fight back. Over the last 2 days I have said this simple truth countless times and have been comforted every time. This "spiritual healing" is in likeness to physical therapy. I'm not ready to run a marathon, rather just realized that I able able to walk once again, when for weeks, I thought my "legs" would never work again. I need to strengthen my spiritual muscles day by day.

I know that God is turning what the enemy intended for evil to good. He already has. I see life more preciously and the little stuff seems so insignificant now. I rehearse daily the armor of God, and know that I am, as we all are, in a battle. The enemy tried to rough me up, and did a pretty good job for a time. Today, I declare that I will trust the Lord, and I know that Jesus is in the middle of my circumstances and that I am in the midst of His perfect plan. I know He is walking with me and at times carrying me as I carry my pain. I'm ready to hand it over to Him and stop asking "Why". I don't know what my future holds but I do know who holds my future and He will be with me every bit of the way.

I miss my baby girl, but today and here on out I WILL TRUST THE LORD.

Erin Anglin

Throwback Thursday - A New Old Song

(originally published in 2011)

I was praying the other day for several people I know who are really going through tough times. They've either lost someone they love or have financial/health struggles. This time of the year is difficult for many people. They feel lonely, sad, broken ... It's my favorite time of the year but I know that that isn't true for everyone.

As I was praying I started praying specifically for comfort and joy. I prayed for God's comfort during the difficult moments that are sure to come and I prayed for joy despite circumstances that already exist. Joy that comes with knowing that our Savior was born so that we may be with him forever.

And because I LOVE Christmas carols and am always amazed how they can minister to me no matter how many times I've heard them I wasn't surprised when I started humming God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen. But when I started to really think about what the words meant...an old song became new to me. A song that speaks to the hurting.

There are 7 verses (that I can find) but I picked 3 that were meaningful to me. If you are hurting or lonely or sick or just not really loving this time of year, please read these words and know that there is always hope. And Jesus came to bring comfort and joy....for you.

God rest ye merry gentlemen let nothing you dismay
Remember Christ our Savior was born on Christmas day
To save us all from satan's power as we have gone astray
Oh tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy,
Oh tidings of comfort and joy

The shepherds at those tidings
Rejoiced much in mind,
And left their flocks a-feeding
In tempest, storm and wind:
And went to Bethlehem straightway
The Son of God to find.
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy

Now to the Lord sing praises,
All you within this place,
And with true love and brotherhood
Each other now embrace;
This holy tide of Christmas
All other doth deface.
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy

Testimony Tuesday - God in the midst of the battle

---I would like to set aside Tuesdays as the day we testify to God's work in our lives.  I say we because I have asked women at the River Church to share what God is doing in their lives and families.  These are their stories!  "They defeated him [the accuser] through the blood of the Lamb and the bold word of their witness." Revelations 12:11 (MSG)---

12/10/13

God is huge, God is amazing, God loves me(all of us) so much that I am unable to even comprehend his love. Yet I still doubt him, I still have fear, and I sometimes fight myself from becoming angry with him.  I know God is present in my everyday life and he hears my every prayer I pray.  I know he has a plan for my life and that he knows what's better for me then I know for myself.  This year God has given my Husband and I many opportunities to grow with Him.  We have faced some impossible situations, and God has provided financially, helped soothe us emotionally and mentally, and He has been preparing us for one of the biggest battles of our lifetime.

When I meet my Husband he already had a beautiful 15 month old baby girl. We were like an instant family, and my Husband and I had to figure out pretty quick how serious our relationship was.  Looking back I know that he knew we would eventually get married.  We both had quite a bit of emotional and mental turmoil we had to get through to be healthy, that baby girl was at the center of our new relationship.  We worked hard to develop and grow into a functioning, healthy, stable family that neither my Husband or I had ever had.  We had to share our little princess with her Mother and step dad 50/50.  It has been an experience to watch such a young child grow up being bounced back and forth and never really having any sense of a real routine.

Without going into details, my Husband and I honestly thought our princess would be better off living in one home the majority of the time.  We have been preparing for this battle since the beginning of our relationship, and he has been preparing before I even met him.  God has been teaching us to bite our tongue and turn the other cheek for years.  He has directed us to move to a smaller town 45 minutes away from Durango so we would have the opportunity to buy a house and become better established financially.  It was a very difficult decision to make as we felt it could result in us loosing time with our child.  But we felt for us to be truly able to provide for this and all our future children we had to make a change.

God provided us a great house, on a great street with amazing neighbors and a great elementary school down the street. He has allowed my Husband to start his own business, and me to finish my pre-requisites towards my nursing degree.  He has also directed us to stir the waters of the battle over the custody of our child.  We had to make the decision, if we take our child's counselors recommendations and seek majority custody and risk loosing time with our little girl, or stay where we were comfortable and have the security we would have her 50% of the time.  We could feel God calling us, and were terrified, but we listened and contacted a lawyer.  That was in May.  Since then we have had to invest money we didn't have, which God provided.  We have had to go through an investigation, deal with a stressed, scared, angry child and have faith in God that He will be sitting in that court room everyday, but especially on the decision day.

This process has been a long one.  At first my Husband and I thought we could finish before school started in August.  I remember being so angry when the first court day we could get was 10/30/2013.  I panicked and was angry with God.  I felt Him tell me that this isn't your battle but it is Mine.  I remember contemplating on if I should leave my family and go to the women's retreat in September.  I had to leave my child who was screaming and kicking and crying because she didn't want me to leave (although she had a great weekend with her Daddy) to go to the women's retreat.  I am so thankful I did.  God blessed me abundantly and allowed me to meet an amazing woman, before she was taken the next week.  He better prepared me for this and other trials in my life. I learned there God has a sense of humor sometimes, an He knows what He is doing.

So to say the least, it has been a tough journey, and I haven't always had the best attitude about it.  While driving our daughter an hour to school just to then turn around to go to work, God was there.  He was teaching me with the fog, the sunrise, and the deer.  He gave me an opportunity to spend time with my step daughter, and we have had some great jam sessions.  He has allowed me time to praise Him in my car, and also how to be quite and listen to Him.  He has taught my Husband and I to trust Him further, and I now can feel Him so close to me everyday.  I have seen other's prayers change the entire energy of our home.

So as tomorrow approaches, the day of decision is here.  I need Him more then ever.  I have confidence in what He is doing.  I know this has been His battle the entire way.  We just have to show up.  I can envision Him sitting in that court room waiting for us.  He already knows the outcome.  He is already on the other side of the judge's decision.  And I know that my child is sitting safely in His hands.  She is safer in His hands then she is in mine.  He knows what is truly best for her, and He loves her so much.  He has a plan and He loves and cares for my Husband and I, just as much.  He also loves and cares for the other side.  He even loves us enough to help us keep our anxiety and stress down so we do not shake, or get sweaty, or say something stupid in front of the judge.  He will actually speak for us.

I know this is long, but this is what I encourage everyone to do in their lives with their trials and tribulations.  Look to them as a blessing.  As a sign that God wants you to grow closer to Him.  No matter what you face, big or small, you are not alone.  You have the biggest, strongest, smartest God who is walking right beside you.  He doesn't get angry when you become weak and doubtful. And when you feel angry from not being able to control something, start with controlling your mind.  Don't allow the enemy to come in and "mess with your stuff."  Especially as women, we have a huge influence on our family and the people who surround us.  Our emotions and outlook on life is an example for our Husbands and kids.  Like my Husband says, "happy wife happy life."  We are women of God, and we should be a force to be reckoned with.  We have a right to stand up for what we believe, and to speak our thoughts.  Because through us God can shine.  We can make a difference.  We can change this world.  God can use us to speak to other women, and that is why I am speaking to you. Even though I am "just" a step mom, I have loved and cared for this child for four years, she is my baby too.  And God gave me a responsibility to help raise her to be a strong, fierce women of God as well.

God bless you and yours today.  Stand strong in the knowledge that God is with you.  Stop telling God about your mountains, start warning your mountains about your God!

Have a blessed day,
Lexi

UPDATED:
 God loves us and has an amazing power to smile while we complain to him about our life's. I cannot count the number of times that I have doubted him.

Today though... I stand forever changed.

 The day before court I began to start shaking uncontrollable, I was nauseous and unable to eat. Also I hadn't sleep good for weeks, I could feel God waking me up every night or early early morning to pray. Even then I could see his ability to bring peace to my house after a night of praying. As we walked into the court room my Husband and I were a mess. We had been crying since the night before. Honestly this was the most terrifying thing either of us have ever done. We could lose our baby. But we prayed, we worshipped and held on to Gods word. Since I was testifying I had to sit in the hall. I could see through the window the face of the Judge, the man who was going to change our life. I appreciated that time in the hall. I sat and I talked to God, I recited in my head over and over again,

" For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but if power and love and of a sound mind." 2 Timothy 1:7

I prayed for my Husband, the judge, our lawyer, everyone. At this point my right leg was shaking so bad it was practically bouncing off the floor out of control, my hands were freezing cold but dripping wet, my stomach was turning and I remember thinking to myself, " I hope I do not have a vasal vagel reaction and just pass out cold on the stand or throw up!" I had never been so nervous in my entire life. I asked God to hold my voice steady, and speak for our baby girl through me. An also help my Husbands and my words glorify God. My lawyer came, I looked at her, she smiled and I remember thinking to myself,

"Let's do this!"

At that moment God overcame me with strength and courage. He had provided me an opportunity to speak my truth, he had also been teaching me for years how to do so correctly. I stopped shaking, sweating, and I spoke clearly and confidently not stuttering once. God arrived in my voice and mind, he also arrived for my Husband as well.

After 3.5 hours of trial the judge stood up and said,

"I know what everyone wants, I will get you an order next week."
And it was over, and now we had to wait longer....

Monday mid day we got the word. The Judge agreed, Our Little girl gets to experience a routine and consistency the first time in her life and live with my Husband and I the majority of the time.

Praise God. Know he is with you!! Trust and believe in him. His timing is perfect, and waiting on him teaches us valuable lessons that only he can teach us.

God bless

Throwback Thursday - Simply Christmas

(originally published in 2011)

I recently read an article that said that even religious people aren't going to church on Christmas or including any religious celebration during the Christmas season. That they are just too busy with parties, dinners, shopping etc...It made me really sad.

Really sad that Jesus is being pushed out of His own birthday party. I can't imagine putting together a party with all the decorations, sending out the invitations, making tons of food, decorating a cake, buying and wrapping gifts and spending weeks in anticipation of the blessed event only to not invite the celebrant. Doesn't that seem odd? I'm pretty sure my children would have none of that (I'm just imagining Kale preparing for his birthday party only to find out he's not invited). Yet that's what happens at Christmas. We can get so distracted with the party that we forget about the Guest of Honor. Jesus. I am guilty of this many times throughout the Christmas season. I get so into all of the fluff that I have to literally stop and think again of my reasons. Could I "do" Christmas without all of the fluff? I sure hope so. The fluff is traditions, memories, fellowship and fun. There's nothing wrong with that. But my hope is that even without the extra stuff...Christmas is still Christmas to me.

At the very heart of Christmas is simply a baby in a manger. Born to bring us peace and joy and hope and love.
Born to live a sinless life.
Born to teach us how to love God and love others.
Born to heal the broken, the sick, the blind.
Born to give us a new life.
Born to die on a cross and then 3 days later rise from the grave to conquer death. Born to reconcile God and man.
Born to show us amazing, endless, unconditional love.

If I miss that....I miss Christmas. I pray that your Christmas is filled with family, friends, joy, laughter and lots of love. But I pray more than anything that your Christmas is centered around, and filled with, the love of Christ.

Simply Christmas

Testimony Tuesday

---I would like to set aside Tuesdays as the day we testify to God's work in our lives.  I say we because I have asked women at the River Church to share what God is doing in their lives and families.  These are their stories!  "They defeated him [the accuser] through the blood of the Lamb and the bold word of their witness." Revelations 12:11 (MSG)---
 
God provides, above what we would could ask for or and in ways we
could not imagine.

This last pay period things were short, very short we were down to
enough money for gas, out of groceries, out of diapers with two of our
kids on them a little scary. God has provided in ways that I would not
have seen or excepted. From coupons for free lunch meat, pizza, to
making the diapers stretch. He has even provided things like candy and
a Gatorade drink for my kids, treats not needs.

God sees us and wants provide not just are needs but sometimes our
wants and He does it in ways that we can only give Him the credit.
 
Jo Lee

Consider Why This Christmas

Christmas has gotten complicated.  Actually Christmas isn't complicated, our celebration of it is.  Christmastime is my favorite.  I love the music, the food, the parties, the decorations, the presents, the pageants, the beautiful services...I love the celebration of Christmas.  But have I complicated it a bit?

As I've been pondering our traditions and our commitments this year, God has challenged me with the Why.  I think to make sure that I know why I am doing what I am doing and to keep my focus on His priorities.   He's not upset that we decorate or bake or listen to music or party or even have Santa come to our house.  But He has gently reminded me of His priorities.

The greatest commandment - His greatest priority - is to Love Him and the next priority is to Love Others.  That's it. 

So the question becomes, am I making His priorities my priorities as I'm baking, decorating, singing songs, going to parties and having Santa come to my house?  Do my kids know what God's priorities are?  Am I forgetting Him in my "doing" of Christmas?  I will continue to ask Him throughout this month and throughout this year because His priorities don't change with the seasons and with the holidays.  They are always the same.

Love Him.  Love others.

I will love Him and teach my kids about the miracle of His birth.  About prophecies fulfilled.  Of lives saved.  Of the hope, love, joy and peace He brings.

I will love the check out clerk at the store as I buy gifts for my loved ones.  I will bless people in need.  I will look outside of my self and my traditions to see people around me.  I will smile at folks hurrying around to get their lists done.  I will love on children who come to church for the first time on Christmas Eve and bless their parents with a little break to hear the message and hope of Christ.  I will do my best not to focus on MY plans but HIS.

And I will do my very best to teach this to my children, even as I learn it myself.

I pray that you, too, can experience the joy of Christmas as you keep His priorities YOUR priorities. 

Throwback Thursday - Perfection

(Originally published in 2011)

Perfection.  Is that a realistic notion?   Can we really expect perfection from anyone?  Anything?  Does God expect perfection from us?

I've been pondering perfection.  I have come across people in my life who expect perfection from me, my husband and/or my children and it's heartbreaking because it's impossible for us to ever live up to those expectations.   It isn't loving, grace-filled or truthful.

It makes me think of my relationship with Jesus.   How does He see me?  What does He expect from me?   Perfection?  Hardly!  Perfection means no grace and Jesus personifies grace and truth.  Perfection and grace can not go hand in hand when describing anyone else except Jesus.  You can not expect perfection from yourself or from others and still give grace.  It just doesn't make sense.

Jesus knew from the very beginning that we would fail.  He knew it and yet he still died for us and still loves us today.  Amazing!  We can't really even to begin to understand that love.  He pours that out for us daily.  Daily we fail to be perfect and daily He loves us with grace and truth.  He's not disappointed or mad or frustrated or impatient.  He's just loving.

I've come across people who have gotten angry with me or my children in an instant.  They've been upset because a harsh word was spoken or because we weren't grateful or because we were wrapped up in ourselves. We've been in the wrong, no doubt, but then that was it.  We had one chance and we blew it. There was frustration or anger or impatience or disappointment and we were done.  No chance (it seemed) to be forgiven and start over.  No chance to learn how to be better.  No chance.

How often have I done the same thing to others?  I've been on the receiving end of the expectation of perfection and it's a yucky feeling.  A feeling of never being good enough.  Never.  And I hate it.  It's made me open my eyes more and more to my own treatment and expectations of others.  Do I expect perfection?  Am I filled with grace in truth in my relationships or do I write people off when they fail me?  Do I understand that people will fail but it is grace and truth that lifts them up to try again, not a broken relationship?  Do I give grace and truth to those who have expected perfection from me?  Ouch. That's a hard one.

And to just make it harder...do I expect [impossible] perfection from myself?  Do I treat myself like Jesus does?  With compassion and grace and value?  Grace + Truth over time = change.  How can I change if I don't give myself grace and truth?

Perfection expects the right thing all the time.
Grace {and truth - can't have one without the other!} understands that the right thing won't be said all the time and says please don't talk to me that way...let's try again.

Perfection expects the correct behavior all the time.
Grace and truth understands that we are all sinful humans struggling to learn and grow and says that really wasn't a good choice...here's a better idea.

Perfection expects that people will never fail {and boy will they be disappointed!}.
Grace and truth understands that we've all fallen short and that it is very, very possible, when we get knocked down, to get up again, brush ourselves off and keep going!

I don't know where you are at today but I have been uber challenged to adjust my expectations.  Not lower them but adjust them.  I want to be the kind of spouse/parent/friend/sister where it's safe to fail with me.  I want to be a safe place for people to be....people!  I don't want people to walk on pins and needles around me...afraid that if they fail I will write them off.  Jesus never wrote anyone off.  Even those who failed Him as He was being crucified.  His love, grace and truth were poured out even in those moments.   How I wish to be that kind of friend!

And how thankful I am that even as I'm walking this road of grace and truth that God knows that I will fail...a lot.  I pray that I will have grace for my own life as I learn how to love others as He loves me.

*on a random side note: I googled an image for perfect/perfection and Google gave me images of celebrities, houses, landscapes, coffee etc.  I guess perfect is in the eye of the beholder eh?*

Testimony Tuesday

---I would like to set aside Tuesdays as the day we testify to God's work in our lives.  I say we because I have asked women at the River Church to share what God is doing in their lives and families.  These are their stories!  "They defeated him [the accuser] through the blood of the Lamb and the bold word of their witness." Revelations 12:11 (MSG)---

 

NEWS FLASH!!! NEWS FLASH!!! GOD is sooo ROCKIN’ COOL!

Today (Saturday, November 23)…I went to an event commemorating International Survivors of Suicide Day at FLC. I met up with a friend of mine, Jennifer, whom I did my suicide intervention training with. She is a dear sister in the LORD and fellow Riverview parent. Jen Kline and I had made plans to go visit Brian and Jordyn Crow, after the ISS event, in that, today would have be Julie’s 44^th Birthday. I shared with Jennifer where I was going after our event. She was visibly touched when I shared about Jordyn being 8 years old, etc. etc. She paused and said, “Hold on a second…I’m getting something from the LORD right now. Give me a minute to work out what HE’s saying.”

Jennifer then began to share with me about a group that she has been involved with for the past 3 ½ years called…Sisters of the Western Slope (SOWS). They are a group of women that share a love and passion for quilting. In a nutshell, this is what they do... Each “sister” creates a small quilt square and turns it into one of the other “sisters”, who is designated as “head quilter” for that project. That person is responsible for turning it into a large, BEAUTIFUL, quilted pillow. It is then presented to someone(s) who is going through or has gone through a tragedy (i.e. hospice patients, Military personnel, terminally ill, those grieving the loss of a loved one, etc. etc.). She shared with me that the group was in the process of disbanding and that she had one pillow left to give out. She said, “The LORD told me to give it to Brian and Jordyn, on this, what would have been Julie’s 44^th Birthday.”

I started to cry, she started to cry…and our ISS Day event hadn’t even started yet. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE how GOD does what HE does!!! So, after our event, I went to her house and picked up the BEAUTIFUL pillow, made with love and compassion by 40 area women, who want to “love on hurting people” via their BIG, pillows of LOVE!!! Some of the squares were made with material from as far away as Uganda and the Conga! They send a little card with the pillow that has the signatures of all of the contributing “sisters”. She told me that since I was given the responsibility (and honor) of delivering the pillow…I was considered an “honorary sister”. I got to choose one of the unnamed squares that it a part of every pillow, as “my square” and sign the card. What a humbling moment that was!

So off I went with pillow and homemade cookies in hand…to meet Jen (who had flowers and a stuffed animal in hand) at Brian and Jordyn’s house. I gave them the pillow and shared, in a nutshell, of how this all came about. They were thoroughly touched with the gesture. (See picture below). So in closing, in case you haven’t already heard… GOD is SOOO TOTALLY, ROCKIN’ COOL!!!

Humbly,

Lynn Dearey

For more information on the Sisters of the Western Slope (SOWS)… go to http://sistersofthewesternslope.org

Leadership of the Exodus

I mentioned last week that I was in awe of the leadership and people that God used to deliver His people out of Egypt.  Here's my take on it.

First off, God used Moses.  Moses was born during a time when the Pharaoh (out of fear) had all the Hebrew baby boys killed.  Moses was saved and protected then sent down a river (again to save and protect).  He was found by Pharaoh's daughter (ya know, the daughter of the man who was ordering that these babies be killed) and grew up in Pharaoh's house as a prince in Egypt.  Moses was a Hebrew living in an Egyptian home.  As he grew, he learned the Egyptian ways, had relationship with Egyptians but also had his eyes opened to the fact that he was a Hebrew and what the Egyptians were doing to his people.  This led him to killing an Egyptian and living in the wilderness for 40 years. 

But here's what amazes me.  God told Moses to deliver God's people out of Egypt.  And when I thought about what qualifications Moses had, I realized he had connection with both the captor and the captives.  Moses could get an audience with Pharaoh because he was a prince of Egypt.  He could lead the Hebrews because he was one of them.  He was the connection between the 2 worlds.  Moses could talk to Pharaoh and the Hebrews.  Who else could've done this?

Because Moses did not grow up a slave, however, I think God sent Aaron and Miriam to help Moses' credibility with the Hebrews.

Aaron was Moses' brother (his blood brother).  When I look at the leadership of Aaron I realize that he was the one who could vouch for Moses and help the Hebrews to see the truth of Moses' leadership and plans for them.  He was the go between between Moses and the Hebrews.  Aaron had been a slave his whole life and could identify with the Hebrews.  He was also related to Moses and saw, from the beginning, the plans God had for his brother.  Without Aaron, Moses' job would've been infinitely harder.  Would the Hebrews have listened to just Moses?  Would they have followed a man who grew up in the Egyptian palace?  I don't know.  But this is why I think Aaron was vital.

And so was Miriam (Moses' blood sister).  Miriam was a prophetess and a worshiper.  And a woman!  I believe she had influence on the women.  Can you imagine being a Hebrew woman and being told to leave your homes and go to the desert?  Following a man you didn't know?  But then comes Miriam.  She was also a slave and lived her life as one.  But she was Moses' protector and saw the miracles God did to protect and save him at the beginning of Moses' life.  She also vouches for Moses and encourages the women to follow his leading.  She worshiped God along the way.  She led from the middle of the pack.  Miriam was also vital to the success of the exodus.   

Leaders don't always lead up front.  If you're a Moses leader then you have to.  But if you're an Aaron or a Miriam leader, you lead from the middle.  You encourage those around you to follow the leadership.  To trust God in the plans He's given leadership.  You encourage, you worship, you help.  Moses, Aaron and Miriam were God's chosen leaders.  Each for their unique role.  They were connectors between people.  Who are you a leader for?  What unique position has God placed you in to lead others?  Are you a Moses, an Aaron or a Miriam?

Here's how I see this played out in the church body.  If you serve in children's ministry or youth ministry or in another capacity where you aren't the "Moses" of the ministry, are you influencing the others around you to follow who God has chosen to lead?  I've had the privilege of doing this many times (and still do!).  Yes, I get to encourage others to follow my husband's leading, but I also get to encourage people to follow our Foursquare leadership.  God called these great men and women to lead our denomination.  I can use my influence and help lead like Miriam.

Are you using your influence to help lead from the middle of the pack?  Encouraging others around you to follow the children's pastor or youth pastor or other leadership?  God moved 2 million people across the desert (can you even imagine?!) and He used 3 main leaders.  What could He do with our church body if we lead from within?

Throwback Thursday - A Thankful Heart!

(originally published in 2011)

I've been pondering what it means to have a thankful heart and how it can change the way my children, all of you and I see the world around us.

It changes us....

from ewww! Gross dinner! I don't want any! to Thank you for making this. I appreciate it. from All he does is work! to I'm so thankful he has a job and is able to provide for us. from This job is hard/dumb/not fun etc...! It doesn't pay well..grrr! to I'm thankful to be where God wants me to be. from These kids are driving me crazy! to I'm thankful for each day I have with the gifts God has given me and for the refinement in my life :) from I don't like our government. I'm tired of this! to I'm thankful to be living in a free country where I'm allowed amazing privileges. from I hate the weather! to So thankful for each season that brings with it a purpose and a plan. from I didn't get enough sleep and I'm cranky! to I'm thankful for a warm bed sleep in. from My family drives me nuts sometimes! to I'm thankful for a family to be a part of. from I hate being sick. to I'm so thankful for the times that I am well. from I'm tired of the tough seasons in life. to I'm thankful for the seasons of blessings and for the work God does in me during the tough times. from I never have enough money! to I'm thankful for the many, many ways God provides for me. from I hate this house! to I'm thankful for a place to live, a roof over my head, running water, heat, electricity.... from Homeschooling is sometimes the stinkin most hardest thing I've ever done and boy does that yellow bus look inviting! to It's an honor to be able to have my kids home with me teaching them life skills, character development as well as "normal" school stuff. from A new car would really be nice. This old clunker is just not working anymore. to I'm thankful for a working car that gets me where I need to go. from I really don't like being so far away from family. to I'm thankful for my family of choice. from My church doesn't play the right music all the time or preach the things I want to hear and people can be seriously ornery and un-Christian. to I'm thankful that I am free to worship. I'm thankful for a place I can go, as a striving Christian myself, and be a part. I'm thankful for other striving Christians, even though they may hurt me sometimes. God has brought everyone in my life for a reason.

Here's to a change of heart!

Testimony Tuesday

  ---I would like to set aside Tuesdays as the day we testify to God's work in our lives.  I say we because I have asked women at the River Church to share what God is doing in their lives and families.  These are their stories!  "They defeated him [the accuser] through the blood of the Lamb and the bold word of their witness." Revelations 12:11 (MSG)---


My testimony of thankfulness to God:

God recently told He wants me to grieve the hurts of my childhood. I don't feel one way or the other about it but then a thought came to me. That's the problem, God wants those feeling switches to be turned on. He wants me to feel, grieve and grow. Second thought, how embarrassing. At my age it's kinda late in the game to not have this done with. Third thought, some people think I have it together. Ha! seriously? I try not to care about that. Up I went for prayer.

It's like when you are teaching your children to clean the bathroom or their room and you see they are doing a great job. In your quest to train them for excellence you see that lurking in the shadows under their bed or in the corner on the tile floor is something that needs looking after.  God has freed me up from many things but there are still some things lurking in the shadows and corners.  It will probably be a hard crazy making time. He loves me and I need to trust Him in this.

Margret Mondragon

Is it Better?

I've been reading through Exodus with my kids for the past few weeks and I've been in awe (again) of the story of Moses leading the people to freedom.  First off I was struck by the leaders God chose (totally another blog topic!) and then I was stopped by these few scriptures.

The Israelites had been heading out of Egypt, being led by a pillar of cloud during the day and a pillar of fire by night {this seems obvious to me that God was leading and providing for them but that could just be me}  There were probably a couple million people total and all of their animals.  Quite a sight!  They were coming up to the Red Sea when they turned and saw Pharaoh's army heading toward them.

"They were terrified and and cried out to the Lord.  They said to Moses, 'Was it because there were no graves in Egypt that you brought us to the desert to die?  What have you done to us by bringing us out of Egypt?  Didn't we say to you in Egypt, Leave us alone, let us serve the Egyptians?  It would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the desert!'  Exodus 14:10-12

You see the Israelites had been taken care of in Egypt.  The Egyptians had to provide food for all of their slaves.  The Israelites may not have liked working as slaves (the conditions were horrible) but they had food.  They had a place to live (even if was almost nothing).  They had accepted their lives in bondage. 

Oh my goodness this sounds familiar!  I know this is something I've said as well as heard other people say.  Although it can sound a bit like "It's hard to make changes! It's easier and more comfortable to be angry.  At least I know where I stand."

Living out freedom is hard.  It means leaving the comfortable and journeying through the desert!  It's hard and may not seem better.  God frees us from sin and bondage and we are faced with a new path to take.  One that isn't traveled often.  At times it feels like blazing a new trail.  We can wonder if it just wasn't better to stay back in Egypt and accept our lives as a slave.  But is that why Christ set us free?  To stay and live the slave life?

"Moses answered the people, 'Do not be afraid.  Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today.  The Egyptians you see today you will never see again.  The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still." Exodus 14:13-14

My new favorite verses!!!  Do not be afraid my friends.  Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today.  The fights and battles you see today you will never see again.  The Lord will fight for you; you only need to be still.

God parted the sea.  The Israelites walked across on dry land.  The Egyptians were drowned.  God's people were freed!  Miracle upon miracle as God provided their every need.   It was better.  It was hard.  But God showed His people and others that He is worthy and His plans are greater!  We need only trust and obey.

Hang in there.  If God is walking you on a path to freedom do not turn around and look back to Egypt and think that life was better there.  It's not.  His promised land is infinitely greater and it comes with a journey.  A journey which is sometimes difficult but always worth it!

Throwback Thursday - Change Me on the Inside

(originally published in 2011)

I was driving into church last Sunday humming a worship song, listening to my kids in the backseat, and of course driving when I felt like God spoke clearly to me. It had to have been the song I was humming mixed with the prayers I've been praying that prompted this Holy Spirit visit {although He really doesn't really need prompting - basically my heart was finally ready to hear what He was going to speak}.

This is what I heard:
{and when I say heard I don't mean an audible voice, it's more like a thought that I know is definitely not mine -- the Bible talks about how His sheep will know His voice - the more I get to know God the easier it is to figure out when He's speaking to me. That's not to say that I don't miss it when He speaks. I still do that. A lot. But this day I don't think I missed it.}

You pray for other people - which is not a bad thing - however, many times you pray for them to change. What about your own heart? Why aren't you praying for your heart to change towards them? You are missing out on the work I want to do in your heart by focusing on others.

Bam! Like a gentle smack in the head (honestly I love it when God does that). I really want to change. I don't want to be the same old me. One who is judgmental, prideful, selfish...I want to love others like He wants me to love. I want to think of others before myself. I want to be like Him. I realized that I did pray for others to change. I think it was so I didn't have to. Or didn't have to deal with the thing I didn't like. I don't completely know my motive - can't quite pinpoint it - but I do know that many times I had selfish motives for sure.

Has God spoken this to me before? Most definitely. Unfortunately I can be like a car out of alignment sometimes and start to drift off course. That's when I need a gentle smack on the head tug on my wheel to get me back on track. So thankful for those smacks!

Lord, Change me on the inside!

Testimony Tuesday

 ---I would like to set aside Tuesdays as the day we testify to God's work in our lives.  I say we because I have asked women at the River Church to share what God is doing in their lives and families.  These are their stories!  "They defeated him [the accuser] through the blood of the Lamb and the bold word of their witness." Revelations 12:11 (MSG)---

At the retreat I had a hard time figuring out what my testimony is since I am currently struggling in a few situations.  I have been a Christian since I was about 10 years old and since then I have strayed – most significantly in my college years.  Coming from a background where few people I knew went to college and/or even graduated, I fell into the lie that my value lies in my academic success and educational accomplishments.  During these years, I relied on myself and others to create my purpose in life.  When I graduated, I was far away from my childhood dream of becoming a doctor.  I quickly put that idea aside when the classes started getting challenging.  I was not into the rigor of science classes, and focused on a discipline that fed more of my self-interests and my idol of academic value which also strengthened my feelings of inadequacy. 

It was during this time that I met my husband.  We became pregnant before marriage, yet when we married, I decided I needed to turn back to God since I was now responsible for my child.  My husband was not a Christian when we married and marriage and fatherhood didn’t seem to affect him and he continued with the sinful life we had together before we married.  Eventually, this lifestyle became his idol and he is a slave to alcohol – now for about 20 years.  We are still married and have four children. 

Needless to say, God spoke so heavily to me during the last session of the retreat on the topic of Praise.  Logically, I know that God has carried me all these years in my imperfect marriage.  We have always been cared for with God’s provision – housing, food, vehicles, employment, etc.  – so I have always thanked God for his provisions.  However, I still have a hard time understanding his love.  Understanding Leah as wife and mother has been incredibly insightful as to my walk with God.  All these years, I have been so alone in trying to understand what I am to do in my marriage; I know I am to submit and honor my husband but he has been negligent of his responsibilities as a husband/father.  He is a Christian now but he is still enslaved. 
I used to think that my marriage was the worst decision I ever made.  Yet, I specifically remember praying for a husband during that incredibly sinful time of my life.  I know now that God brought my husband to me, he blessed me with four amazing children.  Just like Leah, I did not understand my marriage.  I struggled with being unloved and did not truly understand God’s fierce love for me until the last couple of years.  Now I spend my energy into freeing myself by strengthening my walk with God.  I know that I not responsible for my husband.  I have found peace and joy in God because I have accepted that I cannot change my husband, only pray and wait on the Lord.  I have started to walk into all situations as a test – knowing that even though they may be incredibly painful and difficult, God will never leave me so I need to rely on him to lead me through, and to remember to praise him always It is definitely not easy but I am so glad God is patient with me. 

The world tells me so many messages about my situation – for a long time I thought divorce was the answer, but God has placed a dream in my heart that includes my husband – not only as true partner for me, but a true man of God – which is far from present reality that I have often question it.  But this dream is consistent - for many years now I have had it so I am getting stronger in God to be prepared for this miracle to happen.  Because I know when my husband returns, I need to be ready, and I am not right now.  My heart is not right.  I have held and nurtured so strongly a worldly view of what a liberated woman should be, needs to be in order to be considered worthy or valued.  This is so hard to break free from because I have at least 20 years of this pride in myself – an American sense of rugged individualism - that severing the roots are amazing painful and emotionally draining.

I think I believed my testimony was not worth telling because I am still walking it. I was ashamed and wore a veil of shame for so long.  Now I know that God’s favor is my shield.  I seek refuge in his holy mountain, where there is no suffering and pain.

Is God Enough?

I realized the other day where some of my fear is rooted.  It is rooted in the question, in my time of need (financial struggle, illness, death, etc) will God be enough.

Will He be enough if everything in my life falls apart? 

Will He be enough if what I think should happen doesn't?  Or if what I don't think should happen does?

Will He be enough if my heart hurts and my body is tired? 

Will He be enough if I ever hear the worst news I can possibly imagine? 

I don't know.  I mean I don't know that from personal experience with those particular situations. 

What I do know is this.  He's always been enough in every situation in my life this far. 

In every struggle, every heartache, every challenge, in every tear shed, He's been enough.  He's never let me down.  Fear comes in when I think that He won't be enough when something "big" happens. 

The Word says "His grace is sufficient for me.  His power is made perfect in my weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9a

This was written down (under inspiration of the Holy Spirit) by a man who endured lots of "big" things.  Beatings, imprisonment, ship wrecks, persecution and eventually death.  He knew that God's grace was enough.  It was enough for every situation.  He was confident in that.  

The rest of vs 9 says "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." 

My prayer is that when fear creeps in (it does and it will) my heart will resound with the echo and the confidence of Paul,  "He is (and will be) more than enough!"

Throwback Thursday - The Bridge

(Originally published in 2010)

A short while back I had a conversation with someone I love very much. They asked me a question about my faith, specifically Jesus, that I felt like I couldn't, and didn't, answer very well at the time. We got interrupted as I was stuttering out a response and I felt like I didn't really say much. The question I was asked was why is your way right and every other religion wrong. It was a really good question. One I remember asking when I was searching for truth. It wasn't being asked in any way other than I believe they wanted a real answer. So I wanted to take a couple minutes and share with them, and with you all, about what being a Christian is like - for me - in light of other religions.

I have this vision of standing on top of a very high ledge on a mountain. I look down and it is almost impossible to see the bottom of this huge valley. I know it's there but you can't really see it. I know that if I fall, or jump, that I won't live through it. I also know that behind me, slowly, the mountain is crumbling.

Across the way is another even more beautiful mountain. A safe mountain. But it isn't reachable. I don't see anyway across this great chasm.

All around me are people. All different kinds of people. All seeing the same thing that I see. Mountain crumbling behind me. Deep valley below me. Beautiful unreachable mountain before me. However we are all approaching this scenario differently.

Some are sitting down. They aren't worried about the collapsing mountain. In fact they are saying that it isn't really happening. That is isn't a big deal. Let's just not worry about it and it won't happen.

Others are trying to make stuff to cross the valley. Some are tying ropes in hopes of throwing it across the way and climbing over. Some are cutting down trees and trying to make a bridge. Some are building flying machines in hopes that they will be carried across. All of them know that the mountain they are on won't last forever.

I have been searching around trying to figure out the best strategy across the way when someone comes to me and says 'follow me I know the way'. I listen and they lead me to a bridge. A solid, sturdy, narrow bridge that starts just feet before me and goes clear across the valley to the other mountain....safely. There are people already on it. Thousands of people. The bridge is so strong it's holding everyone! I'm amazed that I haven't seen it before. I'm amazed that all of these people haven't seen it before. It's been there the whole time but I wasn't able to see until I listened. Then I saw because I had faith. It's like the bridge in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (yes I am married to Mark...). Do you know which one I'm talking about? The one he doesn't actually see until he steps on it?! This is what I had been searching for. The Way. Now, what do I do with this information. What would you do if you found this bridge? Would you tell someone? Would you cross it quietly and hope no one sees you or makes fun of you? What would you think about all those people around you who are looking for what you've found?

Are all those other people wrong? I guess the answer is yes. But I don't look at them and say 'too bad for you...I found the bridge that will lead me safely away and I'm right and you're wrong and you'll never make it'. No. I look at them and think, 'I know that that rope will never be long enough, the ladder will never be strong enough, the flying machine will never last long enough to get you safely to the other side. But I have found the way. Come with me and I will show you. Please. Listen and see that there is a way. One way. It's here and it's for everyone who wants to come.'

There are some people who look at me and laugh. They don't see the bridge so they think I'm making it up. They say it's a myth. A good idea. A crutch to lean on when things are hard.

Some people know that the bridge is there, they've seen it themselves, but they refuse to cross it because they think other ways will work just as well.

Still others will cross it and not tell a single soul that it's there. They say, 'I guess they'll have to figure it out on their own. Hopefully they'll make the right choice....'

Others are screaming at everyone telling them that if they don't cross the bridge then they're stupid, foolish, morons.

And then there are those who are quietly showing people the bridge. Leading them to the bridge. Just like someone did for me.
I look at my life now, with Christ, and I know The Way. My faith - everything about it - would be meaningless if I didn't actually care to tell others about it. If I know there is only One Way across that great divide then I have no choice but to tell people, regardless of what they think. I, in no way, have to drag them across the bridge, ridicule them for not believing there is a bridge, hate them for trying something else, or ignore them. But can you see someone listening to me if I said something like 'I'm pretty sure this is right. I mean I don't like saying you can't try the rope or the ladder, it might actually work for you...but for me the bridge works best." How many people will I have lined up?
Instead I must lead them, lovingly like someone did for me, to the bridge. And show them that it's there, it's for them, it's for everyone - even people who have ropes and ladders and flying machines. Those people aren't stupid. They just don't know. No one has shown them the One True Bridge. They may have seen ones that look like it but they will fall apart. Guaranteed.

I am 100% confident that I have found the way. And I desperately want you to know about it so you can come to the beautiful mountain with me.

God - Jesus - The Bridge - is here for everyone.

This is how much God loved the world; He gave his Son, His one and only Son. And this is why; so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in Him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life. God didn't go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again. {John 3:16&17 the Message}

I love you!

Testimony Tuesday

---I would like to set aside Tuesdays as the day we testify to God's work in our lives.  I say we because I have asked women at the River Church to share what God is doing in their lives and families.  These are their stories!  "They defeated him [the accuser] through the blood of the Lamb and the bold word of their witness." Revelations 12:11 (MSG)---


From Jo Lee:

It's a Choice!

In the ten years that we have been married we have had several times
that we were not able to pay basic needed bills. Some of these
situations were because of choices we made and some of them were just
because of circumstances. God has always provided, it did not always
look the way we thought we should, but He has always provided.
Recently we had a circumstance were we lost our rent money, and our
savings with money to cover it was hacked. God provided. The thing I
realized was that yes God could have chosen to not let us lose our
rent money, yes He could have protected our savings, but that was not
what happened; here is where I get to choose, I get to chose to trust
that God's got it and honor Him no matter the situation, attack,
or battle I'm in. Satan does not get to distract me from what God
is telling me to do. My prayer is that I stay focused on and honor Him
no matter how crazy, insecure, or scary the world around me gets.

Motherhood

I want to share with you something I recently read that touched the inner part of me as a mom.  It's how I've felt but didn't know how to express.  As well as something God is growing in me greater and greater.  No matter my ministry in the church, my greatest ministry is to my children.  I haven't always known this and can still battle my value as a mom.  But this fires me up and sets me on the path that God has called me to.

Motherhood by Christianna Maas

My willingness to carry life is the revenge, the antidote, the great rebuttal of every murder, every abortion, and every genocide. I sustain humanity.  Deep inside of me, life grows.  I am death's opposition.

I have pushed back the hand of darkness today.  I have caused there to be a weakening tremor among the ranks of those set on earth's destruction.  Today a vibration that calls angels to attention echoed throughout time.  Our laughter threatened hell today.

I dined with the greats of God's army.  I made their meals, and tied their shoes.  Today, I walked with greatness, and when they were tired I carried them.  I have poured myself out for the cause today.

It is finally quiet, but life stirs inside of me.  Gaining strength, the pulse of life sends a constant reminder to both good and evil that I have yielded myself to Heaven and now carry its dream.  No angel has ever had such a privilege, nor any man.  I am humbled by the honor.  I am great with destiny.

I birth the freedom fighters.  In the great war, I am a leader of the underground resistance.  I smile at the disguise of my troops, surrounded by a host of warriors, destiny swirling, invisible yet tangible. and the anointing to alter history.  Our footsteps marking land for conquest, we move undetected through the common places.

Today I was the barrier between evil and innocence.  I was the gatekeeper, watching over the hope of mankind, and no intruder trespassed.  There is not an hour of day or night when I turn from my post.  The fierceness of my love is unmatched on earth.

And because I smiled instead of frowned the world will know the power of grace.  Hope has feet, and it will run to the corners of earth, because I stood up against destruction.

I am a woman.  I am a mother.  I am the keeper and sustainer of life here on earth.  Heaven stands in honor of my mission.  No one else can carry my call.  I am the daughter of Eve.  Eve has been redeemed.  I am the opposition of death.  I am woman.

Throwback Thursday - Kung Fu Panda

(originally published in 2010)

Ok I know this might seem like a strange post but I gotta share this. Have you ever seen the movie Kung Fu Panda? It's about a lazy panda who accidentally becomes a Kung Fu master. It's a pretty cute movie and we all enjoyed watching it. But there is one scene in there that had some major, and I'm talking major, truth in it and it has stuck with me and I can't shake it.

So the scene is this: The sensi (teacher), who is a fox named Master Shifu, is afraid of the meanest bad guy ever, who is in a maximum security prison and under extraordinary security measures.   He is worried that the bad guy will escape from prison. Because of this fear he sends his assistant (a duck) to the prison to check on the security and make sure that this bad guy is never getting out.  While there, the duck loses a feather and it drops down into this huge hole where the bad guy is being kept chained up and guarded.   A few minutes later in the movie the bad guy uses the missing feather to unlock his chains, free himself, fend off hundreds of trained guards, escape the prison and begin his journey back to the village where the sensi lives.  The sensi's nightmare is coming true.   All because he had to make sure to make sure that the bad guy was properly guarded and never getting out. 

Here's the truth.  What we fear, and actively try to prevent from happening, can very well happen as we try to prevent it.   If Master Shifu had never sent the duck to "check on" the bad guy, there never would've been a feather to unlock anything and he would never have escaped.

Think about that in the real world, non-cartoon life.   Parents who are afraid that their teens will rebel and put the lock down on everything they do to "ensure" that they can't rebel, can very easily wind up with teens who rebel.   Husbands or wives who are afraid of affairs can become controlling and jealous and actually push their spouse away and end up with a spouse who cheats.  A person who is afraid of friends who will betray them can tend to push them away and actually create dysfunctional, fearful, relationships that are actually completely opposite of what they want and possibly be betrayed.   Our fears, one way or another, come out in our actions. And many times we become a self fulfilling prophesy.

Parents can say -- I knew they'd rebel.   A spouse can say -- I always knew they were a cheater.   A friend can say -- I could've told you that they were going to betray me.  Do you see what I'm trying to say here?

God's word says that perfect love casts out all fear.  When we are controlled by our fears it breaks down trust, honesty and true intimacy.   We become so afraid of a possible outcome - not a guaranteed one - that we do everything we can to avoid that situation and wind up in bondage to our fear.

Why would we want to live that way when God designed us for relationships? With Him and with others.   The only relationship that we can ever ever have that is risk free is our relationship with God.  He will never rebel, never cheat, never betray, never leave us, never disappoint us, never hurt us.  People will. That's not a fear it's a fact.  Humans are incapable of being everything to everybody.  Is that any reason to avoid people?  Absolutely not.  Yes it's scary to have real, honest, loving relationships with anybody.  It's a risk.  And yes sometimes you will get hurt.  That's the nature of a fallen world.  The problem is that we expect people to provide for us what only God can give.  But, I know that God wants us in relationship with others and that when we look to Him to cast out our fears we can have meaningful relationships.

I have been one who is fearful as well as one who has been the object of fear.  I hate being in either place.  I have been challenged to love and to risk despite whatever may happen.  I do not want to be controlled by my fear and, by my actions, cause that fear to become a reality.  If something happens I will deal with it then but for now I pray that I can love others the way that Christ loves me...without fear.

Testimony Tuesday

 ---I would like to set aside Tuesdays as the day we testify to God's work in our lives.  I say we because I have asked women at the River Church to share what God is doing in their lives and families.  These are their stories!  "They defeated him [the accuser] through the blood of the Lamb and the bold word of their witness." Revelations 12:11 (MSG)---



God is so amazing.  His love is unfathomable.  Today, I got the news that I will still start my new position in Farmington, where I live, on Nov. 12th.  The hours for the new position clash with one of my classes that I am taking to complete the prerequisites for the San Juan College nursing program.  So, instead of talking to my Abba Father about it, I've fretted about how I would finish my classes strongly with having to miss one.  Today, I found out that I will work the day shift from 11/12 - 11/22.  The following week is Thanksgiving break and the week after that is finals.  So, it turns out the only class that I have to worry about making arrangements to miss work to participate in is one final.  How great is our God!  Plus, He opened the door for me to continue to have a part-time position at my current employer that allows me to create my own schedule.  He met a financial need today.  There's no end to the measure of His love, His mercy, His provision, or His protection.  I trust that I am on the path that He has for me.  I will continue to follow Him.  I look forward to making Him smile everyday, just like He makes me smile.  Thank You, Jesus.  Oh, I almost forgot.  He also blessed me with a $500 scholarship for school.  He is incredible!  Thank You!  Thank You!

Would we know if it was there?

I was presented with this question in a Bible study I am doing: Do you have any committed bitterness or unforgiveness in your life?

I thought and thought (I like to give real responses) and my answer was no.  At this time I do not.  Yes, I have had it in the past, but I am confident in God's forgiveness and healing in that area.  But then I added, if there's more it hasn't been brought to my attention. 

Thus started a line of thinking about would we know if it was there. 

Stay with me for a sec. 

In my experience, my own and others, there are situations, emotions and responses that we've experienced our whole lives.  They have become a part of who we are.  We honestly don't know anything apart from them.  If you've ever said I've always felt this way or this is just who I am, then this pertains to you.  Just because it's always been this way or we've always felt this way doesn't make it not worth visiting and letting The Lord heal. 

If your dad left your family years and years ago you may have unforgiveness.  It just may not feel like unforgiveness because it's always been there and because you may not be visibly angry anymore.  It may now just feel like apathy.  'Whatever. My dad was a jerk.  He left my mom to raise us alone.  Hope he's happy living his own life.'

Sounds nice enough, but is there true forgiveness in there or is the unforgiveness so hidden we aren't sure that's what it is? 

The enemy is a deceiver and a liar.  The Bible also says that we deceive ourselves.  We have ourselves convinced that we're fine so that when we're asked if there's unforgiveness in our hearts we look for one or two signs of it, don't see it and deceive ourselves into thinking we're just fine.  Yet were still in bondage! 

Don't go second guessing every little thing you think or hear. That's not my point.  Believe me.  I've done that!  It's miserable too!  I'm just saying when you get asked a question like I did, don't automatically dismiss it and say I'm fine.  Say to The Lord 'Is it me?' and then let Him answer.  He will reveal the truth if you let Him. 

We need to be self aware.  Not self absorbed, but able to see ourselves clearly. That's humility.  Seeing ourselves from a real perspective - good and bad.  God doesn't want us to dwell in either place.  We just need to know the good we are capable of as well as the bad.  We can praise Him for one and receive forgiveness and healing for the other. 

Where are you at today?  Do you have any committed bitterness or unforgiveness in your life?

Throwback Thursday - Honestly!!

(originally published in 2010)

Does anyone else wonder how half-truths, exaggerations, and outright dishonesty have become fine, normal and acceptable?! Seriously! I am so sick of lies that I'm sick!
Look around! I bet that if you took 5 minutes to become more aware of lies vs truth you would be amazed at what you'd find you are surrounded by. Believe me it's scary. What you look like, what you drive, how you speak, your education, your haircolor, your home, your birthday, your clothes etc...defines who you are. Lies. Lies that we are bombarded with from TV, radio, magazines, friends, billboards...

But even on top of that is how we speak to each other. How many lies do well tell a day? "Yes I'm fine (in reality I'm in turmoil about so many things)" "Yes I'll serve in ministry (in reality I can't possibly handle one more thing on my plate)"
"No I can't help you out (in reality I can but I don't want to because you annoyed me yesterday)"
"I'm sorry I'm late. Traffic was horrible! (in reality I was blogging and got so distracted that I left late and now I'm late meeting you)"
"Well my day was just so busy (in reality, I really wish you, my spouse, would help out more, I'm tired and overwhelmed and frustrated but I don't want to bother you with my real emotions so I'm going to pretend that everything's ok and maybe some day I'll blow up and you'll be surprised that I've been lying to you for so long and that doesn't seem real great either but for the moment I'll just lie)"
"I was so angry about such n such that I about quit my job (in reality it did make me mad but there's no way I'd quit my job)."
"I was so sad I bawled my eyes out (in reality I didn't shed a tear but I'd really like you to think I was so sad so you might feel sorry for me)."
"I never cry (in reality I do but I don't want you to think I'm weak)"
"I didn't sleep a wink last night (in reality I dozed in and out of sleep so much it didn't feel like I slept but you don't need to know that)."
"I've tried everything and nothing is working (in reality I've tried two things and they were so hard because I lack the self control necessary but trying everything sounds so much better)"

Seriously we need to stop the lying. Lying snowballs and it doesn't even matter what you lie about. If you lie about why you're late then you make it sound like you can usually be on time and you will just constantly have to lie. If you lie about how you feel then people will make assumptions and even decisions based on what you lied about creating an even bigger problem for you in the long run. I talked to Kale the other day about lying. Our kids, if they lie, will get punished for the offense as well as the lie. Because in reality that's what happens. Not only will we have to deal with the consequences of the reason we're lying (ie. being late, hurting someone's feelings etc.) but we'll also have to deal with the consequences of lying (ie hurting a friend or spouse, losing other's trust in us). Lies snowball. Then we're not who we really are. Ever.

I've heard people talk about how great it is, sometimes, to move or start a job or whatever to get a fresh start. It's like they can now be the real them. For so long they lie to people around them and it isn't until we start over that we are finally able to just be us.

Why do we lie? I think it's because we're afraid of what others will think. We're afraid to be accountable and responsible for our actions and thoughts. By admitting that we're late because of blogging, we're admitting that we weren't being responsible. If we tell the truth about why we can't serve in a ministry, we may appear less spiritual than others. If we admit that your friendship is difficult, that person may not like us and then point out all of our faults.

Honesty is hard. Honesty challenges us to be who we really are, say what we mean, and mean what we say. Honesty - in love - will change us for the better, strengthen our relationships, improve communication, and make us trustworthy, and a people of integrity. Do I tell the truth all the time? Ha! If I said that I did I'd be lying :) No, I realize that I can exaggerate or not tell the whole story. BUT, I am desperate to have real, meaningful, and lasting relationships built on truth and trust. Relationships that are Christ centered. And that is impossible if they are built on deception and assumptions.Practice being honest today. The whole world could use more truth in their lives. It can start with me.